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Chemist. "Pills, eh?" (Emphasising question) "Anti-bilious?"

Child (readily). "No, sir; uncle is!"

Mother. "Now, dear, why don't you run away and give grandpa a kiss?" Child (somewhat nonplussed by grandpapa's moustache and beard). "I don't see any place for it, mamma!"

"Sauce for the Goose," &c.—Ethel. "Mummy dear, why did you tell Richard you 'weren't at home' just now?" (Pause.) "Mummy, I mean——" Mamma. "When Sir Fusby Dodderidge called? Why, Ethel dear, because he bores me." Ethel. "Oh!" (After thoughtfully considering the matter with regard to her governess). "Then may I say I'm not at home when Miss Krux calls to-morrow? for she bores me awfully?"

At the Rink.—Little Girl. "Oh, Captain Sprawler, do put on your skates, and show me the funny figures you can make." Captain S. "My dear child, I'm only a beginner. I can't make any figures." Little Girl. "But Mabel said you were skating yesterday, and cut a ridiculous figure!"

A Little Knowledge.—Daisy (who has been studying Chrysanthemums).—Maisy, do you know what's a Double Begonia?

Maisy (who has been studying the Classics).—"Double Big-onia"? Yes! Of course, it's the plural of one big onion.

Maidenly Etiquette.—Little Chris (ætat eight). I've a birthday party on Thursday, Evie. I should like you to come.

Little Evie (ætat nine). I should love to, dear.

Little Chris. But I couldn't, you know, unless you asked me to tea first.

In the Library.—Tommy. How beautifully those books is binded!

Little Dot. No, Tommy, that's wrong. You mustn't say "binded"; you should say, "are bounded."

Superlative Assurance.—Papa (To Little Chris). I can't quite understand you. Was it Mr. Jones, or Mr. David Jones, or Mr. Griffith Jones, whom you met?

Little Chris (stoutly). All I know is, it was the third eldest Mr. Jones.

Mabel (stroking kitten, a new present). "Mother, kitty's so hot! Ought she to sit so near the fire?" (Kitten purrs.) "Oh, mother, listen! She's beginning to boil!"