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قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch with The Children
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stage-whisper to her sleeping sister). "Wake up! Oh, wake up and mew, Amy; mew for your life!!"
UNIMAGINATIVE
Auntie. "Do you see the hair in this old brooch, Cyril? It was your great-grandfather's."
Cyril. "I say, Auntie, he didn't have much!"
Auntie. Well, Effie, did you enjoy your party last night?
Effie. Very much, thank you, auntie.
Auntie. And I suppose mamma was there to look after you?
Effie. Oh no! Mamma and I don't belong to the same set!
NICE NEPHEW!
Tommy. "Talking of riddles, Uncle, do you know the difference between an apple and a elephant?"
Uncle (benignly). "No, my lad, I don't."
Tommy. "You'd be a smart chap to send out to buy apples, wouldn't you?"
A Precautionary Measure.—"Now go to school, and be a good boy. And mind you don't use any rude words!"
"Rude words! Tell me a few, mummy, and then I shall know, you know!"
A "CONSCIENTIOUS OBJECTOR"
Governess. "Now, just one more subtraction sum——"
Dolly. "Oh, Miss Crawford, I don't fink mummie would let me do any more of those sums, 'cause in them you borrow ten and pay back only one, and that's cheating!"
A GREAT AMBITION
Little Girl (watching her mother fixing hatpins through her hat). "When will I be old enough, mummy, to have holes made in my head to keep my hat on?"
Rehearsal for Private Theatricals on Boxing-Day.—Master Brown (leading tragedian, who has been studying a fearful blood-curdling old melodrama, entering suddenly). "Here are the letters. Two million pounds is the price of my silence!"
Walking Home from the Pantomime.—Little Chris (who usually goes to bed very early). Mamma, have all the angels been to Drury Lane to-night?
Mamma. No, darling? Why?
Little Chris (pointing to the stars). 'Cause they've kept the lamps up there lighted so late.