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Qualified Admiration.—Country Vicar. "Well, John, what do you think of London?" Yokel. "Lor' bless yer, sir, it'll be a fine place when it's finished!"

Squire's Daughter. "Do you think it is quite healthy to keep your pigs so close to the cottage?"

Hodge. "I dunno, miss. Noan of they pigs ain't ever been ill!"

VERJUICE!

Farmer's Wife (whose beer is of the smallest). "Why, you hevn't drunk half of it, Mas'r Gearge!"

Peasant (politely). "Thanky', mu'm—all the same, mu'm. But I bean't so thusty as I thought I wor, mu'm!!"

OUR VILLAGE

Nephew (on a visit to the "Old Country"). "Ah, uncle, in Canada we don't do our hay-makin' in this 'ere old-fashioned way."

Uncle. "Why, you bean't never goin' to tell I as you've bin an' turned teetotal?"

Reciprocity.—Parson. "I have missed you from your pew of late, Mr. Stubbings——"

Farmer (apologetically). "Well, sir, I hev' been to meet'n' lately, but—y' see, sir, the Reverend Mr. Scowles o' the chapel, he bought some pigs o' me, and I thought I ought to gi' 'm a tarn!"

Doctor. "Well, Mrs. Muggeridge, how are you getting on? Taken the medicine, eh?" Mrs. M. "Yes, doctor. I've taken all the tabloids you sent, and now I want a new persecution."

On a Footing.—Almost every considerable town has a market for corn; therefore, it is but fit that Bedford Market-place should have its Bunyan.

Soundings!—(The living down at our village falling vacant, Lord Pavondale left it to the parish to choose the new rector.)

Influential Parishioner. "Then am I to understand, Mr. Maniple, that you object to bury a Dissenter?"

The Rev. Mr. Maniple (one of the competitors). "Oh, dear me, no, Mr. Jinks; quite the contrary!"

Visitor. "My good man, you keep your pigs much too near the house."

Cottager. "That's just what the doctor said,