قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch's Country Life: Humours of Our Rustics
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A Conundrum to fill up a Gap in the Conversation.—Why is a person older than yourself like food for cattle?
Because he's past your age (pasturage).
Everything comes to the Man who waits.—Country Rector's Wife (engaging man-servant). And can you wait at dinner?
Man. Aw, yes, mum; I'm never that hoongry but I can wait till you've done.
A QUESTION OF VESTED INTEREST
Vicar. "Well, gentlemen, what can I do for you?"
Spokesman. "Please, sir, we be a deputation from farmers down Froglands parish, to ask you to pray for fine weather for t'arvest."
Vicar. "Why don't you ask your own Vicar?"
Spokesman. "Well, sir, we reckon 'e be'unt much good for this 'ere. 'E do be that fond of fishin'."
A Rustic Moralist.—Rector (going his rounds). "An uncommonly fine pig, Mr. Dibbles, I declare!"
Contemplative Villager. "Ah, yes, sir: if we was only, all of us, as fit to die as him, sir!!"
Query.—Has the want of rain this summer, and consequent failure of the hay crops, affected the market for Grass Widows?
TRIALS OF A NOVICE
The Boy (to Brown, who has just taken a "little place" in the Country). "Plaze, zur, wot be I to start on?"
Brown. "Oh—er—er—let's see——Oh, confound it!—er—er—make a bonfire!"
