The coach is come, madam.

THE LADY OF THE HOUSE.

Madam, we are going to the play; will you be so obliging as make one of the party? It will divert miss.

CHILD.

Take me home, mamma—take me to Cloy.

T.

A name for a dog.

MRS CONSUL.

Come, my dear—Excuse me, madam—my child is really not well—feel her hand—I am afraid she's feverish.

(The Apothecary steps aside, and whispers—)

Madam, you had better give miss a little senna and a puke; if it operates six times, it will be sufficient.

(They go to the Playhouse.)

Mr Woods comes on the stage, and makes a genteel apology, that the play, from an accident, must be put off for half an hour.

In the meantime, Mrs Kennedy (though not expressed in the bills) obligingly appears, and sings—

Then a beautiful young girl, dressed in the character of Spring, sings, and skimming along the stage,—

"This is poor entertainment"—(from one of the boxes.)

An orange from the footman's gallery hits the Irishman such a blow on the nose.—He flies upon the stage, drawing his dagger—throws one of the players heels o'er head—wounds Mr Hallion—makes such a hubbub, the gentlemen from the pit are obliged to interfere.

The house in great confusion—the company, crowding to the door, with great difficulty get to their coaches—a dreadful storm—a dark night—a nabob's carriage driving like Jehu—the coachman, being drunk, overturns one of the hackneys—they shriek frightfully, and the minister roars like a bull.

The old Ensign, chancing to walk on foot, comes up, and helps to lug them out.

Footnotes

[1] The lamentable occurrence, to which allusion is here made, is as follows:—

A venerable missionary was put ashore on one of the South Sea Islands, where he was most graciously received by the king, queen, and the rest of the royal family. During the time the vessel remained, which was only a few days, this useful person was fed most luxuriously, and every attention was paid to him—the result of which was, that in a short time he became uncommonly plump. The vessel which brought him, had occasion a few months afterwards to touch at the island, and inquiry was made for the excellent person who had been left there. But the king and court did not seem inclined to afford much information, merely contenting themselves with answering, "Squi wab squob squavarab skoi rig," which, being interpreted, runs thus, "Very fine man the missionary." At last the captain got the king and some of the chiefs to dinner, when his majesty, (after having got drunk, in answer to an inquiry after the missionary,) exclaimed, "Squi wab squob squavarab skoi rig, skadery shoy oy lig baggary bhum;" meaning, "Fine man the missionary—eat him all up one day."

It turned out that the missionary, in consequence of good usage, had got so fat and sleek, that the king and chiefs could not resist the inclination, which, during the progress of his fattening had been increasing; so they gave a public feast, at which the missionary, cooked in a variety of ways, formed the standing dish.