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قراءة كتاب Mattie:—A Stray (Vol 3 of 3)
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might—he, a blind man, prating of affection! He had been a fool and coward; he would seal his lips from that day forth, and be all that was wished of him—nothing more. Harriet had made her escape into the narrow passage, had contrived to open the street-door, and was preparing to hurry away, when Mattie came towards her.
"Going away without a good-bye, Harriet!"
"I had forgotten," she said coldly.
"What have you said to him?—have you—have you——"
"I have said nothing at which you have reason to feel alarmed," said Harriet; "I have not taken your advice. He thinks and speaks only of you, and I did not break upon his thoughts by any harsh reminiscences."
"You are excited, Harriet; don't go away yet, with that look. What does it mean?"
"Nothing."
"Has he offended you?"
"No."
"Have I?"
"No," was the cold reiteration. "I am not well. I ought not to have intruded here. I see my mistake, and will not come again."
"I hope you will, many, many times. I build upon you assisting me in the good work I have begun here. You and I together, in the future, striving for the old friend, Sidney Hinchford."
"I am going away to-morrow—it is doubtful when I shall return, or what use I shall be to either you or him. You understand him better than I."
"I do not understand you this afternoon," said Mattie, surveying her more intently; "what have I done? Don't you," she added, as a new thought of hers seemed to give a clue to Harriet's, "think it right that I should be here!"
"If you think so, Mattie, it cannot matter what my opinion is."
"Yes—to me."
"You came hither with the hope of befriending him, as a sister might come? On your honour, with no other motive?"
"On my honour, with none other."
"Why deceive him, then?" was the quick rejoinder; "why tell him that your father gave his consent for your stay here, when he was so opposed to it?"
"He thought so from the first, and I did not undeceive him, lest he should send me away. Have you seen my father?"
"He called last night at our house. He is anxious and distressed about you."
"I am sorry."
"He thinks that you have no right to be here—I think you have now."
"Oh! Harriet, you do not think——"
"Hush! say nothing. You are your own mistress, and I am not angry with you. You have been too good a friend of mine, for me to envy any act of kindness towards him I loved once. I don't love him now."
"You said you did."
"A romantic fancy—I have been romantic from a child. It is all passed away now—remember that when he——"
"When he—what?"
"Asks you to be his wife, to become his natural protector; you alone can save him now from desolation—never my task—never now my wish. Good-bye."
She swept away coldly and proudly, leaving the amazed Mattie watching her departure. What did she mean?—what had Sidney said to her that she should go away like that, distrusting her and the motives which had brought her there—she, of all women in the world!
Mattie went back to Sidney's room excited and trembling. Close to his side before she startled him by her voice.
"Mr. Sidney, long ago you were proud of being straightforward in your speech—of telling the plain truth, without prevarication."
"Time has not changed me, I hope, Mattie."
"What have you said to Harriet Wesden?"
"To whom!"
The horror on his face expressed the facts of the case at once, before the next words escaped him.
"It was—Harriet Wesden then!"
"Yes."
"And she came in to see me, and assumed your character, Mattie?" he said; "why did you let her in?"
"I don't know," murmured Mattie; "she was anxious about you, and she had come hither to make inquiries without intruding upon you, until I—I advised her to come."
"For what reason?" he asked in a low tone.
"I thought that you two might become better friends again, and——"
"Ah! no more of that," he interrupted; "that was like my good sister Mattie, striving for everybody's happiness, except her own, perhaps. Mattie, you talk as if I had my sight, and were strong enough to win my way in life yet. You so quick of perception, and with such a knowledge of the world—you!" he reiterated.
"Misfortune will never turn Harriet Wesden away from any one whom she has loved—it would not stand in the way of any true woman. And oh! sir, if I may speak of her once again—just this once—"
"You may not," was his fierce outcry; "Mattie, I ask you not, in mercy to me!"
"Why?" persisted Mattie.
"I don't know—let me be in peace."
It was his old sullenness—his old gloom. Back from the past, into which Mattie's efforts had driven it, stole forth that morbid despondency which had kept him weak and hopeless. The remainder of that day the old enemy was too strong for any effort of Sidney's strange companion, and Mattie felt disheartened by her ill success.
CHAPTER IV.
A NEW DECISION.
Sidney Hinchford rose the next morning in better spirits, and Mattie in worse. Half the night in his own room Sidney had reflected on his vexatious sullenness of the preceding day, and on the effect it most have had on Mattie; half the night, Mattie in her room had pondered on the strangeness of the incidents of the last four-and-twenty hours—on that new demeanour of Harriet Wesden, which implied so much, and yet explained so little.
After all, Mattie thought, was she right in staying there? Had she treated her father well in leaving him without a fair confession of that truth which she had breathed into the ears of a dying man, and scarcely owned till then unto herself? She had not come there with any sinister design of winning, by force as it were, a place in Sidney Hinchford's heart; she had never dreamed for an instant—she did not dream then!—of ever becoming his wife, with a right to take her place at his side and fight his battles for him.
She had been actuated by motives the purest and the best—but who believed her? Had not her father mistrusted her? Had not Harriet, who understood her so well she thought, regarded her as one scheming for herself?—she whose only scheme was to bring two lovers together once more, and see them happy at each other's side. For an instant she had not thought that she was "good enough" for Sidney Hinchford; she who had been an outcast from society, an object of suspicion to the police, a beggar, and a thief! No matter that she had been saved from destruction and was now living an exemplary life, or that misfortune had altered Sidney and rendered him dependent on another's help, he was still the being above her by birth, education, position, and she could but offer him disgrace.
With that conviction impressed upon her, conscious that Sidney had improved and would continue to improve, an object of distrust to her best friends—why not to the neighbours who watched them about the streets and talked about them?—only judged fairly and honourably by him she served, was it right to stop—was there any need for further stay there?
She was thinking of this over breakfast—afterwards in her little business round, during which period another visitor had forced himself into Sidney's presence, without exercising much courtesy in the effort. Ann Packet had opened the street-door, and looked inclined to shut it again, had not the visitor forestalled her—she was never very quick in her movements—by springing on to the mat, and thence with a bound to the parlour door.
"Oh, my goodness! you mustn't go in there. Master left word that you were never to be shown into him again on any pertence."
"Where's Mattie?"
"Gone out for orders," said Ann. "Just step in this room, sir, and wait a bit."
"Young woman, I shall do nothing of the kind. When my daughter comes in, tell her where I am. That's your business;