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قراءة كتاب Withered Leaves: A Novel. Vol. II. (of III)

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‏اللغة: English
Withered Leaves: A Novel.  Vol. II. (of III)

Withered Leaves: A Novel. Vol. II. (of III)

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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vaults. The view from that high stronghold of Ottokar extended far over the town, which with its church towers and high gabled houses, and at the same time windowless warehouse quarters, surrounded and traversed with glistening branches of the river, lay as if cowering at its feet. There was something soothing and alleviating to the mind in that free prospect; with my heart throbbing less violently, I awaited the entrance of the woman who was considered to be the superior nature of light in the elect circle.

"And she entered, smiling gently and kindly, her appearance delicate and distinguished; I almost felt as though an ambrosial light was floating around her, and when she also greeted me with the sisterly kiss, I felt as if receiving consecration from above, it was as though one of those bodyless angel's heads, which, as Raphael painted them, possess wings only, had kissed me.

"At first it was the mild, confiding sister who spoke to me; she introduced sundry worldly affairs into the conversation, and I was obliged to give her accurate information about our genealogical tree and the estates of our family, and just the same of my previous life.

"Nevertheless, I soon perceived that I no longer talked to my fellow-believer on terms of equality; with polite and dexterous transition she had changed the conversation into an examination. The examination in the first place concerned my external life, but should soon direct itself towards my internal one.

"A change, for which I could not entirely account, had taken place in the Gräfin, but of which, however, I soon experienced the secret power. All friendliness and mildness had suddenly disappeared from her features, they had assumed an almost gloomy air of decision; something majestic and commanding lay in her whole demeanour. She rose and stood before me, drawn up to her full height; the woman had been transformed into the priestess. With a sign, she bade me remain seated, and solemnly explained that the Archdeacon had given to her the right of consecrating and sanctifying men and women, after he had imparted supreme consecration to herself. It was her duty to examine hearts, to root out sin, to speak truths sharply and unsparingly; because love in man becomes zealous with a divine zeal. And she, indeed, appeared to be impregnated with that zeal; a deep glow suffused her features, she stood before me in proud, strange beauty. I was fain to think of the angel with the flaming sword.

"She required unreserved confession and acknowledgment of my sins.

"I hesitated. What should I confess? So new was this introspection still to me that I had occupied myself but little with discovering what, according to the measure of these saints, would be accounted sin.

"She became more urgent; she demanded confession by the rights of her office. It was false shame wishing to conceal anything. The heavenly passion purified fallen man from sin. No secular laws were concerned in this case; not the sham and falseness of society, only truth--the open truth. Nor need the confession seek for veiled expressions; the sharper the words, the sharper the self-condemnation.

"I still hesitated. She began to ask if I--I who came from the world without, beginning at home--had banished all earthly affection from my intercourse with the women of the community.

"She enquired so solemnly, I could almost believe that I heard the scales of justice rattle. I was already beneath her spell; I had no perception of what was strange, astounding in the whole proceeding; the oppressive sensation of internal consciousness of guilt overcame me, and I acknowledged that my heart drew me towards Frau Salden, and that in the midst of pious conversations the thought of her beauty, of her charms, entangled me.

"I drew a breath of relief after this confession; I believed that I had now done my duty as a penitent. Yet I was mistaken; now only did the implacable judge commence an examination that penetrated to the inmost detail; she entered upon a domain which no child of the world would have trodden with equal freedom; my whole soul lay as if upon a dissecting-table before this wonderful woman. Emotions, wishes, which softly, obscurely, and of which I was even only vaguely conscious, concealed themselves in the recesses of my heart, must be brought to light; my inner nature became transparent to her as well as to me; and when I had conquered the first shyness, such a confession was even welcome. I found it tranquilising to have a witness of my internal struggle. An inexplicable charm, which was not only of a spiritual nature, lay in such undisguised confession, which despised all social custom, but was justified by higher ordinance.

"The Gräfin praised me for my candour, and when I had made known to her that otherwise I was still free from all sin, and that my heart, in the midst of Nature, still often rejoiced in marvellous revelations, she called me a child of light, who might, perhaps, be destined to attain a high position in the circle of the elect.

"I had promised reformation of the one sin to which I could confess, a sin of thought, and indeed I was in earnest about it. Since my visit to the Gräfin, a gloomy consciousness of guilt had taken possession of me, which I loved to ponder over in solitude. Woman had formerly been a divinity for me, she seemed so again, since I had seen the Gräfin in the exercise of her priestly mission, and the feelings of vain worldly pleasure to which I had yielded when with my pious young friend, I counted to myself as a sin.

"I became an industrious attendant not only at church, but also at the smaller meetings in which the minister expounded his doctrines; I eagerly studied the Revelation of St. John. The Lion and the Lamb, the Breaker of the Seal, as a second minister of the sect was designated, the Angel of the Apocalypse; all these were pictures which became more and more vivid to my imagination, yet in the principal doctrine of the approach of the Millennium I buried myself with a fervour which was not free from doubts, yet was it not the prediction of a new world, and such dreams lived long within me. The entrancing words of the minister, the enthusiasm and proud beauty of the female children of light at his side, the spiritual toiling and struggling in a world withdrawn from everyday life, full of singular mysteries, had made me into a zealous disciple of the secret community. I was looked upon with respect by the minister, the Witnesses, and the Breaker of the Seal. My visits to Frau Salden became very rare; I also avoided her at the meetings; my shy manner towards her had been remarked by her. Had the Gräfin not stood so high upon the ladder of the saints, Frau Salden would have charged her with being the cause of my transformation. At heart she certainly did not spare the Gräfin this accusation, as since my visit to the castle I had become distant towards herself. Sternly and for some time I struggled successfully against my affection for the beautiful woman, until a new and unexpected turn took place in my life."





CHAPTER III.

THE FALL OF MAN.


"One day a note from Frau Salden, intimated to me that I was now considered strong enough to be present at one of those secret sittings, in which the great act of salvation was taught and practised, and invited me to one of those gatherings.

"It was a tolerably large room, but dimly lighted. Men and women were assembled, their devoutness appeared more fervent than usual, yet a spirit of secresy pervaded the gathering, which had shut itself off from the outside world. Lengthy

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