whom they could confess their sins, and "nothing defiled can enter heaven."

With these things constantly burdening my undeveloped mind, and the thought of the great work I could do for the church and priests, and of some day being a great sister-teacher, I at last consented to be a sister for the Roman Catholic system.

Very natural, under this kind of home life and influence, when every thing human, natural, ennobling, elevating and commonly decent and Christian was withheld and kept out of my life, and all of nature's endowments and rights distorted and put to my mind as something deceptive and leading to sin and deplorable wrongs.

CHAPTER III.

My Novitiate Life

My last two confessions, in preparation to entering the convent were made to "Father" Ceserri. When I had finished the last one, and he was expounding and explaining my admirable choice of sisterhood life, he raised his right hand while pronouncing the words, "I absolve thee, etc." and then he put his arm around my neck and very "fatherly" kissed me. In the midst of my sanctifying confusion I did not know whether it was the Holy Ghost, or if it was meant in brotherly love. But, I quieted my mind with the happy thought that as the priest was Christ in the confessional, it must have been Him who had kissed me, and I believed myself highly favored by this mark of His love.

This same priest, "Father" Ceserri, took me from my home, which was in the Palouse country in the eastern part of Washington, to Walla Walla, which was two days' travel by stage, and a few hours on the railroad. At the end of the two days' stage travel, we were in Dayton, Washington. It had been very warm and dusty all day. The clerk of the hotel showed us to a large room prepared for two. "Father" Ceserri, in a laughing, jolly, good-natured manner, remarked that the clerk took us for man and wife. The priest left the room while I was dusting and arranging myself. When he returned, he had a couple of bottles of porter, he called it, and two big goblets. He opened the porter and filled the goblets, handed one to me and kept the other himself. I would not take it, telling him that I never took liquor. He pleaded that I should drink it as it would do me good after the tiresome travel of the day. He could not prevail upon me to take it, so he left the room again, returning soon with some beer, saying that this was milder and insisted that I take it. I refused as before. He told me that if I wanted to be a sister that I had to learn to obey, as sisters made vows of obedience. So I consented to taste it in obedience to him. He was then satisfied, as I had obeyed.

The next day we went to Walla Walla, where I remained about a month with the Sisters of Charity, who took me to Vancouver, Washington, where I entered the convent.

It was understood between the priest and my mother, before I left home, that I would have a year's schooling before entering the Sisterhood. This promise had also been made to me by the Reverend Mother John of the Cross.

On the day set by the sisters, July 30th, 1881, I was notified that I was to be received into the novitiate that evening. I reminded the reverend mother of her promise to me in regard to school, and she told me that she had not forgotten it, that the two years' novitiate was all schooling. I believed her, and, as I had already had a few lessons in obedience, I thought it best for me to do as she directed. I had learned that the reverend mother superior was the same over us in the convent as the priest in the confessional and church. So I yielded in all confidence to her for my future interests.

Elizabeth Schoffen, One Month Before Leaving Home for the Convent.

On entering the novitiate, I was given a formula, which I said kneeling, as follows: "Reverend Mother, I beg to enter this holy house, and will submit to all the trials to prove myself worthy to become a servant of the poor, and pray for perseverance." I was then led into a large, barn-like hall or room, with a long, sort-of-workshop table in the center, and a number of plain chairs—this was all the furniture. There were a few holy pictures on the wall which broke the awful bareness. The frames were black, coffin-like strips of wood, very forcibly impressing the idea of death on my mind.

I was then led to a graded oratory where there were various statues and lighted candles, before which I knelt, ahead of the novices and the Mistress of Novices, and prayed: "Veni, Creator Spiritus," meaning, "Come, O Holy Ghost," and the Litany of the Saints. With this introductory ceremony over, the Mistress came to me with a large pair of scissors and cut off my beautiful, golden-brown hair, my only beauty. This was the first "mark of the beast," the first preparatory act for Rome's "holy" institution.

I was then a "postulant" which means on probation. The postulant period generally is six months. During that time the sisters decide whether or not the candidate has a religious calling—that is, to find out more intimately her character, disposition, temperament, inclinations, disinclinations—to see if she has the bodily fitness and soul requirements to be permitted the next step of advancement in this "holy" calling.

I was told by the mistress that the closing of the door of that "holy" house was a complete separation of myself from the sinful world. That if I wanted to be a spouse of Christ and a good sister, I had to absolutely forget everything outside the convent, even to my own parents and relations. "He that is not willing to leave father and mother for my sake is not worthy of me." The one important obligation that was repeatedly impressed upon my mind was that I had entered the convent to become a religious to save my soul. The quotation, "Let the dead bury their dead," was translated literally to me, and I was not to worry about any one outside the four walls that enclosed me.

As a postulant, I was to learn the fundamental virtues of the community of the Sisters of Charity—Humility, Simplicity and Charity. For the acquisition of these virtues I had to learn to diminish in my own estimation; be glad whenever I was given an opportunity to abase, to renounce or to mortify myself. By the interior and exterior practice of these virtues I had to prove myself. By true humility of heart, I had to bear all things and refuse the soul its desires. The poor and humble in spirit pass their life in abundance of peace, I was taught.

One of the first humiliating experiences I had, to illustrate the above teaching, was one Sunday evening soon after I entered. The sister who was to relieve me in the department I was working in, had failed to report and I had not had any supper. The next exercise was benediction in the church and I could not absent myself from this without being dispensed by my superior, and then for only very grave reasons. I went to the novitiate room about eight o'clock, and the mistress of novices rebuked me severely for not being in rank with the novices. I told her that I had not had any supper yet, as the sister officer had failed to replace me in time. I had broken a rule by being absent from supper without permission, so I went on my knees and asked a penance. The mistress told me that I could go to the pantry and get some eatables and take them up to the novitiate