قراءة كتاب The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce
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The Life and Death of Doctor Faustus Made into a Farce
handsom but my self; had the best Pue in the Church, though a Tradesman's Wife; and at last dyed of the Spleen, for want of a Coach and Six Horses. Why is not thy Room perfum'd, and spread with Cloth of Tissue? What must you sit, and I stand? Rise up Brute.
Fau. Go, thou art a proud Slut indeed. [Exit.
Enter Covetousness.
Now what art thou the Second.
Cov. I am Covetousness; I was begot by a close Fist, and a griping Heart, in a Usurer's Chest. I never eat, to save Charges: This Coat has cover'd me for Fourscore Winters: This Beard has seen as many more. I never slept in my Life, but always watch'd my Gold.
Fau. What wert thou on Earth?
Cov. I was first an Exciseman, and cheated the King and Country; then I was a Baker, and from every Neighbor's Loaf I stole Two Pound, and swore 'twas shrunk in the Oven. I was a Vintner, and by bribing of Quest-men had leave to sell in Pint Bottles for Quarts: At last I was a Horse-courser, made Smithfield too hot to hold me, and rid Post to the Devil? Give me some Gold, Father? [Exit.
Enter Envy.
Fau. What art thou the Third?
Env. I am Envy; begot by a Chimny-sweeper upon an Oyster-wench. I cannot read, and wish all Books burnt. I always curst the Government that I was not prefer'd; and was a Male-content in Three Kings Reigns. I am Lean with seeing others Eat; and I wish the Devil would make a Sponge of thy Heart, to wipe out the Score of my Sins.
Enter Wrath.
Fau. Out, Envious Wretch. What art thou the Fourth?
Wra. I am Wrath; I had neither Father nor Mother, but leap'd out of a Lion's Mouth when I was scarce an Hour old. I always abhor'd the Art of Patience, and curst all Fisher-men. I beat my Wife for my Pleasure; curst Heav'n in my Passion, 'cause it gave me no Fortune, and was hang'd for a Rape on a Scotch Pedlar. [Exit.
Enter Gluttony.
Fau. What art thou the Fifth?
Glut. I am Gluttony; begot by a Plow-man on a Washer-woman, who devour'd a Chedder Cheese in two Hours. I am of a Royal Pedigree: My Grand-father was a Sur-loin of Beef, and my Mother a Gammon of Bacon: My Sisters were Sows, which supply'd me with Pork: My Brothers were Calves, which afforded me Veal: My God-fathers were Peter Pickled-Herring, and Michael Milk-Porredg: My God-mothers were Susan Salt-butter, and Margery Sous'd-Hog's-Face. Now, Faustus, thou hast heard my Pedigree, wilt thou invite me to Supper?
Fau. Not I.
Glut. Then the Devil choak thee.
Enter Sloth.
Fau. What art thou the Sixth?
Slo. Hey ho! I am Sloth; I was begotten at Church by a sleepy Judg on a Costermonger's Wife, in the middle of a long Sermon. I am as Lazy as a Fishmonger in the Dog-days, or a Parson in Lent: I would not speak another Word for a King's Ransom.
Enter Leachery.
Fau. And what are you, Mr. Minks, the Seventh and last?
Leach. I am one that love an Inch of Raw Mutton better than an Ell of Fry'd Stock-fish, and the first Letter of my Name begins with Leachery. [Exit.
Fau. This Sight delights my Soul.
Luc. Faustus in Hell are all manner of Delights.
Fau. O might I see Hell once, and return safe.
Luc. Faustus, thou shalt; give me thy hand. Hence let's descend, and we will Faustus show The mighty Pleasures in the World below. [Vanishes.
SCENE Changes.
Enter Harlequin, and Scaramouche in the Doctor's Gown; a Wand, and a Circle.
Scar. So, now am I in my Pontificalibus: Now can I shew my Black Art; for I have found that heavenly Book which Faustus used to raise the Dead in: Come, stand within this Circle.
Har. 'Tis time to Conjure, for I am almost famish'd. We have fasted like Priests for a Miracle.
Scar. I'll make thee amends presently; I'll conjure up a Spirit, ask what thou wilt thou shalt have it.
Har. Let me alone for asking.
Scar. Be very earnest with him, and intreat mightily.
Har. I'll intreat Earnestly.
Scar. Silence. Sint mihi Dii Acherontis propitii Nobis Diccatus Mephostopholis, &c.
Mephostopholis rises.
Meph. How am I tortur'd by these Villains Charms?
From Constantinople have they brought me now,
Only for Measure of these idle Slaves? What
Would you with Mephostopholis?
Scar. Wee'd know how Dr. Faustus does.
Meph. Well.
Scar. When comes he home?
Meph. Within Two Days.
Scar. What was he doing when you left him?
Meph. He was at Supper, eating good Chear.
Har. Good Mr. Devil, tell him we are almost starv'd; and desire him to send us some of his good Chear.
Har. Some Wine too?
Meph. What else.
Har. What else: Why if Fornication been't against your Commandments, we would have some live Flesh; a handsom Wench.
Scar. Only for a third Person, and please your Damnation.
Meph. You shall have your Desires.
Har. We desire your Mephostopholiship too, not to let us stay the Roasting and Boiling of any thing: For we are as Eager as the Wine in Smithfield, and want no whetting.
Meph. You shall.
Scaramouche and Harlequin pull off their Caps.
Now if your mighty Darkness would please to Retire.
Meph. Farewell. [Vanish.
Scaramouche steps out of the Circle, and struts about.
Scar. Now how do you like my Art?
Har. O rare Art! O divine Mr. Doctor Scaramouche! If the Devil be as good as his Word, I'll owe him a good Turn as long as I live: But I wish our third Person would come.
A Giant rises.
Ha! What's here?
Gi. I am sent by Pluto to bear you Company.
Har. Is this his third Person? Or is it Three Generations in One? Come you from Guild-hall, Sir?
Gi. No, Mortal, from the Stygian Lake. I am the Giant which St. George destroy'd; and in the Earth have been decaying ever since, but now am come to Eat with you.
Scar. To pick up your Crums, Sir: You'r heartily Welcome.
Scaramouche gets upon Harlequin, and salutes him.
Gi. I have lain now within the Stygian Lake 2000 Years.
Scar. Your Honour is not much shrunk in the Wetting.
Gi. But we loose Time, and Dinner cools.
Har. Where is it?
Gi. In the next Room.
Scar. Will it please your Lustiness to lead the Way?
Har. Will it please you then to make way for him?
Gi. I can divide my self to serve my Friends?
[Giant leaps in two.
Breeches be you my Page, and follow me.
Harleq. and Scaram. complement the Breeches. [Exeunt.
SCENE draws, and discovers a Table furnished with Bottles of Wine, and a Venison Pasty, a Pot of wild Fowl, &c.
Enter Scaramouche, Giant, and Harlequin.
Har. O heavenly Apparition!
Scar. Come, let's sit down.
The upper part of the Giant flies up, and the under sinks, and discovers a Woman in the Room.
Harlequin and Scaramouche start.
Scar. Ha! What's here, a Woman?