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قراءة كتاب The Female Wits
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he may work a Reformation;
May turn the side of Follies now in Course,
And touch the guilty Scribe with due Remorse:
That every Fool his Errors may reclaim,
And take the Road of Pen and Ink to Fame.
May to the Men with Justice be apply'd.
Each Sex is now so self-conceited grown,
None can digest a Treat that's not their own.
So Æsop's Monkey that his Off-spring brought,
It's own the fairest of the Rivals thought;
As it preferr'd deformity of Face
To all the Beauties of the Bestial Race.
From Ridiculing Women in his Play,
When his own Sex so very open lay.
Troth so he might, but as I said before,
Wits do themselves, as Beaux, themselves adore;
Your Man of Dress, your Dressing Female Apes,
And doats upon their several Aires and Shapes:
Fearful that what upon the Sex is cast,
May on themselves stick scandalously fast.
Or lessen the true value of a Muse;
Since every Soul with Rapture must admire
The tuneful Motions of the skilful Lyre.
But as the Shade adds Beauty to the Light,
And helps to make it strike upon the Sight:
So those whom he has made his Present Theme,
Assist to make us Poetry esteem,
As we from what they are, distinctly see,
And learn, what other Poets ought to be.
DRAMATIS PERSONÆ.
| Mr. Awdwell, A Gentleman of Sense} and Education, in Love with Marsilia,} |
Mr. Mills. |
| Mr. Praiseall, A conceited, cowardly Coxcomb;} a Pretender likewise to Marsilia's} Affections,} |
Mr. Cibber. |
| Fastin, Son to Lord Whimsical, Husband} to Isabella, and in Love with his Father's} Wife,} |
Mr. Powell. |
| Amorous, Steward to Lord Whimsical, and} in Love with Isabella,} |
Mr. Pinkethman. |
| Lord Whiffle, An empty Piece of Noise,} that always shews himself at Rehearsals} and in publick Places, |
Mr. Thomas. |
| Lord Whimsicall, Husband to Lady Loveall}, | Mr. Verbruggen. |
WOMEN
| Marsilia, A Poetess, that admires her own} Works, and a great Lover of Flattery,} |
Mrs. Verbruggen. |
| Patience, her Maid,} | Mrs. Essex. |
| Mrs. Wellfed, One that represents a fat Female} Author, a good sociable well-natur'd} Companion, that will not suffer} Martyrdom rather than take off three} Bumpers in a Hand,} |
Mrs. Powell. |
| Calista, A Lady that pretends to the learned} Languages, and assumes to her self} the Name of a Critick,} |
Mrs. Temple. |
| Isabella, Wife to Fastin, and in Love with} Amorous,} |
Mrs. Cross. |
| Lady Loveall, Wife to Lord Whimsical,} and in Love with Fastin,} |
Mrs. Knight. |
| Betty Useful, A necessary Convenience of} a Maid to Lady Loveall,} |
Mrs. Kent. |
ACT I.
SCENE a Dressing-Room, Table and Toylet Furnish'd, &c.
Enter Marsilia in a Night-Gown, followed by Patience.
Mar. Why, thou thoughtless inconsiderable Animal! Thou driv'ling dreaming Lump! Is it not past Nine o'Clock? Must not I be at the Rehearsal by Ten, Brainless? And here's a Toylet scarce half furnish'd!
Pat. I am about it, Madam.
Mar. Yes, like a Snail!—--. Mount, my aspiring Spirit! Mount! Hit yon azure Roof, and justle Gods! [Repeats.
Pat. Madam, your things are ready.
Mar. Abominable! Intollerable! past enduring! [Stamps. Speak to me whilst I'm Repeating! Interrupting Wretch! What, a Thought more worth Than worlds of thee!—--what a Thought have I lost!— Ay, ay, 'tis gone, 'tis gone beyond the Clouds. [Cries. Whither now, Mischievous? Do I use to Dress without Attendance? So, finely prepar'd, Mrs. Negligence! I never wear any Patches!
Pat. Madam.
Mar. I ask you if ever you saw me wear any Patches? Whose Cook maid wert thou prithee? The Barbarous Noise of thy Heels is enough to put the Melody of the Muses out of ones Head.——Almond Milk for my Hands.——Sower! By Heav'n this Monster designs to Poyson me.
Pat. Indeed, Madam; 'tis but just made; I wou'd not offer such an affront to those charming Hands for the World.
Mar. Commended by thee! I shall grow sick of 'em.—— Well, but Patty, are not you vain enough to hope from the fragments of my Discourse you may pick up a Play? Come, be diligent, it might pass amongst a Crowd, And do as well as some of its Predecessors.
Pat. Nothing but flattery brings my Lady into a good humour. [Aside. With your Ladyship's directions I might aim at something.
Mar. My Necklace.
Pat. Here's a Neck! such a Shape! such a Skin!—-- [Tying it on. Oh! if I were a Man, I shoud run Mad!
Mar. Humph! The Girl has more Sense than I imagin'd, She finds out those Perfections all the Beau-mond have admired.— Well, Patty, after my Third day I'll give you this Gown and Pettycoat.
Pat. Your Ladyship will make one of Velvet, I suppose.
Mar. I guess I may; see who knocks. [Goes out, and returns.
Pat. Madam, 'tis Mrs. Wellfed.
Mar. That ill-bred, ill shap'd Creature! Let her come up, she's foolish and open-hearted, I shall pick something out of her that may do her Mischief, or serve me to Laugh at.
Pat. Madam, you invited her to the Rehearsal this Morning.
Mar. What if I did? she might have attended me at the Play-house.——Go, fetch her up.
Enter Mrs. Wellfed and Patty.
Mrs. Wellfed. Good morrow, Madam.
Mar. Your Servant, dear Mrs. Wellfed, I have been longing for you this Half-hour.
Mrs. Wellf. 'Tis near Ten.
Mar. Ay, my Impertinence is such a Trifle—But, Madam, are we not to expect some more of your Works?
Mrs. Wellf. Yes; I am playing the Fool again.—— The story is——
Mar. Nay, for a Story, Madam, you must give me leave to say, there's none like mine; The turns are so surprizing, the Love so passionate, the Lines so strong. 'Gad I'm afraid there's not a Female Actress in England can reach 'em.
Mrs. Wellf. My Language!
Mar. Now you talk of Language, what do you think a Lord said to me t'other day? That he had heard I was a Traveller, and he believ'd my Voyage had been to the Poets Elyzium, for mortal Fires cou'd never inspire such words! Was not this fine?
Mrs. Wellf. Extravagantly fine! But, as I was saying——
Mar. Mark but these two Lines.
Mrs. Wellf. Madam, I