extravagant.

Admiral.

He's a gambler.

Lady Frederick.

Yes, but then he's so good looking.

Admiral.

Eh?

Lady Frederick.

I'm glad that we agree so entirely about him. Now there's nothing left but to call the young things in, join their hands and give them our united blessing.

Admiral.

Before I consent to this marriage, madam, I'll see your brother——

Lady Frederick.

Damned?

Admiral.

Yes, madam, damned.

Lady Frederick.

Now listen to me quietly, will you?

Admiral.

I should warn you, Lady Frederick, that when I once make up my mind about a thing, I never change it.

Lady Frederick.

Now that is what I really admire. I like a man of character. You know, I've always been impressed by your strength and determination.

Admiral.

I don't know about that. But when I say a thing, I do it.

Lady Frederick.

Yes, I know. And in five minutes you're going to say that Gerald may marry your pretty Rose.

Admiral.

No, no, no.

Lady Frederick.

Now look here, don't be obstinate, I don't like you when you're obstinate.

Admiral.

I'm not obstinate. I'm firm.

Lady Frederick.

After all, Gerald has lots of good qualities. He's simply devoted to your daughter. He's been a little wild, but you know you wouldn't give much for a young man who hadn't.

Admiral.

[Gruffly.] I don't want a milksop for a son-in-law.

Lady Frederick.

As soon as he's married, he'll settle into a model country squire.

Admiral.

Well, he's a gambler, and I can't get over that.

Lady Frederick.

Shall he promise you never to play cards again? Now, don't be horrid. You don't want to make me utterly wretched, do you?

Admiral.

[Unwillingly.] Well, I'll tell you what I'll do—they shall marry if he doesn't gamble for a year.

Lady Frederick.

Oh, you duck. [She impulsively throws her arms round his neck and kisses him. He is a good deal taken aback.] I beg your pardon, I couldn't help it.

Admiral.

I don't altogether object, you know.

Lady Frederick.

Upon my word, in some ways you're rather fascinating.

Admiral.

D'you think so, really?

Lady Frederick.

I do indeed.

Admiral.

I rather wish that proposal of marriage had been on your own behalf.

Lady Frederick.

Ah, with me, dear Admiral, experience triumphs over hope. I must tell the children. [Calling.] Gerald, come here. Rose.

[Gerald and Rose come in.

Lady Frederick.

I always knew your father was a perfect darling, Rose.

Rose.

Oh, papa, you are a brick.

Admiral.

I thoroughly disapprove of the marriage, my dear, but—it's not easy to say no to Lady Frederick.

Gerald.

It's awfully good of you, Admiral, and I'll do my best to make Rose a ripping husband.

Admiral.

Not so fast, young man, not so fast. There's a condition.

Rose.

Oh, father!

Lady Frederick.

Gerald is to behave himself for a year, and then you may marry.

Rose.

But won't Gerald grow very dull if he behaves himself?

Lady Frederick.

I have no doubt of it. But dullness is the first requisite of a good husband.

Admiral.

Now you must pack off to bed, my dear. I'm going to smoke my pipe before turning in.

Rose.

[Kissing Lady Frederick.] Good-night, dearest. I'll never forget your kindness.

Lady Frederick.

You'd better not thank me till you've been married a few years.

Rose.

[Holding out her hand to GERALD.] Good-night.

Gerald.

[Taking it and looking at her.] Good-night.

Admiral.

[Gruffly.] You may as well do it in front of my face as behind my back.

Rose.

[Lifting up her lips.] Good-night.

[He kisses her, and the Admiral and Rose go out.

Lady Frederick.

Oh lord, I wish I were eighteen.

[She sinks into a chair, and an expression of utter weariness comes over her face.

Gerald.

I say, what's up?

Lady Frederick.

[Starting.] I thought you'd gone. Nothing.

Gerald.

Come, out with it.

Lady Frederick.

Oh, my poor boy, if you only knew. I'm so worried that I don't know what on earth to do.

Gerald.

Money?

Lady Frederick.

Last year I made a solemn determination to be economical. And it's ruined me.

Gerald.

My dear, how could it?

Lady Frederick.

I can't make it out. It seems very unfair. The more I tried not to be extravagant, the more I spent.

Gerald.

Can't you borrow?

Lady Frederick.

[Laughing.] I have borrowed. That's just it.

Gerald.

Well, borrow again.

Lady Frederick.

I've tried to. But no one's such a fool as to lend me a penny.

Gerald.

Did you say I'd sign anything they liked?

Lady Frederick.

I was so desperate I said we'd both sign anything. It was Dick Cohen.

Gerald.

Oh lord, what did he say?

Lady Frederick.

[Imitating a Jewish accent.] What's the good of wathting a nithe clean sheet of paper, my dear