after supper, did he—after dancing with you all night—and you refused him? Quite right! My dear child, never believe in any proposal until the young man calls at eleven in the morning and asks you to be his wife!"

AN UNAPPRECIATED COMPLIMENT

"Good-night, Miss Maud!"

"I'm not Miss Maud."

"Miss Ethel, I mean. Won't you shake hands with me? How ungrateful of you! and just after I've been taking you for your lovely sister, too."

LE MONDE OÙ L'ON S'ENNUIE

"I see a tent. I wonder what's going on inside? Let's go and see...."

"What's the good of our going in there?"

"What's the good of our stopping out here?"

THE TABLES TURNED

Tired Daughters.—"Don't you think we might go now, mamma? It's three o'clock."

Festive Mamma.—"Oh, that's not so very late, darlings.... Mayn't I have one more dance?"

A SLEEPY HOLLOW IN THE OLD COUNTRY
(The Common Room at St. Morpheus, Oxbridge.)

First Tutor (waking up, and languidly helping himself to his modest glass of claret).—"Ah! I like a little sleep after dinner.... It makes one ready for one's wine!"

Second Tutor.—"Well, I like a little sleep before dinner best!"

The Master.—"Pooh! Talk to me of the after-breakfast sleep in term-time! That's what I enjoy!!"

TAKING ONE TOO MUCH AT ONE'S WORD

Hostess.—"Won't you play us something, Mr. Spinks?"

Musical Amateur (who thinks a good deal of himself, in spite of his modesty).—"Oh, don't ask me—you are all such first-rate performers here—and you play such good music, too."

Hostess.—"Well, but we like a little variety, you know."

THE ENGLISH TAKE THEIR PLEASURES SADLY

A DAUGHTER OF HETH

Lionel.—"Oh, I say, Benjamin! how splendid your wife is looking! She pays for dressing, if you like!"

Benjamin.—"Does she, my boy? I only wish she did!"

A QUESTION OF AGE

Teddy.—"How old are you, Aunt Milly?"

Aunt Milly (who owns to 35).—"Oh, Teddy, almost a hundred!"

Teddy.—"Auntie, I can't believe you! I'd believe you if you'd said fifty!"

BREAKFAST AT BONNEBOUCHE HALL

"A southerly wind and a cloudy sky proclaim a hunting morning."

BUSINESS

Sir Bedivere de Vere.—"Oh, I say. How you do chaff! You never take me seriously!"

American Belle.—"You never asked me!" (No cards.)

DOMESTIC ECONOMY

Mater.—"Papa, dear, do you know a halfpenny weekly paper called Flipbutts?"

Pater.—"Never heard of it in my life!"

Mater.—"Well, it offers ninepence a column for answering questions, and they are so difficult, and we do so want to make a little money! Do leave off your novel and help us a little." (Pater can only write two novels a year, but gets £10,000 for each of them.)

WHAT INDUCED HIM TO MARRY HER?

He.—"Look! Here comes young Brummell Washington, with his bride. I wonder what on earth induced him to marry her?"

She.—"Oh, probably somebody bet him he wouldn't!"

A CLAIM TO SOCIAL PRECEDENCE

Hostess.—"You must give your arm to Miss Malecho, William, and put her on your right, and make yourself as agreeable as you possibly can!"

Host.—"Why, she's a person of no consequence whatever!"

Hostess.—"Oh, yes, she is! She's very ill-natured, and tells the most horrid lies about people if they don't pay her the very greatest attention!"

AN INTRODUCTION

"Auntie, darling, this is my new friend, Georgie Jones. He is nice. And isn't it funny, my birthday is the ninth of January, and his is the tenth, so you see we only just escaped being twins!"

BANJONALITIES
(The Freemasonry of Art.)

He.—"I beg your pardon—but—er would you be so kind as to give me the 'G'?"

She.—"Oh,