Messenger. Very sorry, sir, but that gentleman who has just entered the room is likely to be there for the next three hours. He came here two minutes before your arrival.

Officer. But is a civilian allowed to take precedence of an officer in full uniform?

Messenger. Beg your pardon, sir, but he is not a civilian; but an officer like yourself.

Officer. And yet he is admitted in mufti! Why, here have I had to come up from the country in full rig, being chaffed at the railway station, grinned at by the cabman, and cheered by the crowd!

Messenger. Yes, sir. Very sorry you should have been inconvenienced, sir, especially as it was unnecessary, sir!

Officer. Unnecessary! Why, doesn't the order come into force to-day that all officers who appear in the War Office for any purpose whatsoever must be attired in the proper uniform of their rank and regiment?

Messenger. No, sir. To-morrow, sir, the second of April, is the proper date. To-day, sir, is the first of April.

Officer. And the first of April is surely the most appropriate date! Quite the most appropriate date!

Messenger. Yes, sir!

The War Office is taking steps to turn its surplus cavalrymen into foot soldiers. We see nothing ridiculous in the idea—as some persons profess to. We already have Mounted Infantry. Now we are to have Dismounted Cavalry.

The Handy Man.

What he will have to become, if recruiting for the navy continues to fall off, and many more new battleships are constructed.

DIGNITY AND IMPUDENCE

Hector. "Now then, young feller—who are you staring at?"

Hodge. "Whoy shouldn't I stare at yer? I pays vor yer!"

NOT FOR PATRICK!

    ["It has been proposed that the kilt should be the uniform of the new Irish Guards."—Daily Paper.]

In order to check extravagance in the Cavalry, the authorities have decided that "fines of money or wine are no longer to be levied on marriage or promotion, or in respect of any minor irregularities." In future the officer who commits the major irregularity of being