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قراءة كتاب Imprudence
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
were known to Prudence. All the secrecy and silence of Miss Agatha’s careful guardianship availed little against an inquiring and sympathetic mind and somewhat unusual powers of observation. Prudence at eighteen was not ignorant. To attempt to keep an intelligent person ignorant is to attempt the impossible. Miss Agatha did not shrink from impossible effort: furthermore she confused the terms ignorance and innocence, and in her furtive avoidances contrived to throw a suggestion of indelicacy upon the most simple of elemental things. Many well-meaning persons bring disrepute in this way on things which should be sacred, and utterly confuse the mind in matters of morality with the disastrous result that, bewildered and impatient, the individual not infrequently breaks away from conventional caution and adopts a line of indifference in regard to decent restraints. Life cannot be run on lines of suppression any more successfully than on the broader gauge of a too liberal tolerance. Restraint has to be practised; and it is the right of the individual to be taught to recognise the necessity for this with the encouragement of the practice.
Miss Agatha’s narrow creed proclaimed that the girl had sinned, and must therefore be thrust forth; Prudence, in her impulsive youth, felt this decree to be ungenerous, and, had she dared, would have championed the sinner’s cause before all Wortheton. She did not fear Wortheton, but she was afraid of Agatha—Agatha, who, at the time of Prudence’s birth, was older than Prudence’s mother, and who had domineered over her mother and herself until the former’s death, which sad event occurred when Prudence was five years old. She remembered her mother only dimly, but she hated Miss Agatha on her mother’s account as she would not have hated her on her own. The mop of golden curls which, with the wide blue eyes, lent to Prudence’s face a guileless and childlike expression, covered a shrewd little brain. It was no strain on the owner’s intelligence to discern that Agatha was jealous of her, had been jealous of her mother before her, on account of their father’s preference; and it occasioned her much inward satisfaction to reflect that not even Agatha had the power to lessen his love for her: she was the child of his old age and the light of his eyes.
“I’ve half a mind,” she said to herself, and rested her dimpled chin on her hands and stared into the shadowy distance, “to tell him about Bessie. If I asked him to interfere and let her remain, he—might.”
She did not feel very positive on that head; Mr Graynor was after all a male edition of Agatha. Nevertheless, she would at least make her appeal.
“I wonder...” she mused, and thought awhile.
“I suppose she was very much in love,” was the outcome of these reflections. “I wonder what it feels like to be very much in love.”
Prudence’s world had not brought any of these experiences into her life. She never met any men, save her father’s friends and William’s, none of whom were calculated to awaken sentiment in the breast of a girl of eighteen. The youngest of these was a man of forty, a nice kind old thing, who brought her chocolates, and pulled her curls before she put her hair up. Since the hair had gone up he had ceased to pull it, and he did not bring her chocolates so often; his kindliness had become more formal; but she liked him rather better on that account; the teasing had sometimes annoyed her.
Like most girls, Prudence allowed her mind at times to dwell on the subject of love and marriage. The older girls at school had discussed these subjects freely: one of them had professed an undying passion for the drawing-master, who was married, and had asseverated before an admiring audience in the playing-field that she would cheerfully ignore the wife and run away with him if he asked her. He had not asked her. He had indeed been entirely unaware of her devotion, and had regarded her as a rather dull pupil. Prudence had considered her silly. Also she held a belief that emotional excitement was not love. She was not very clear in her thoughts what the term love expressed exactly; but she believed that when it did come love would be a big thing. She did not consider it in relation with marriage: marriage was a contract, often a convenience. She would have been glad herself to marry, merely to escape from Agatha and Wortheton. When a girl was married she could at least fashion her own life. And Prudence loved children. She envied Bessie Clapp her coming motherhood more than she pitied her on account of the social ostracism entailed thereby. Prudence’s ideas on morality, never having been wisely directed, inclined to exalt the beauty of motherhood and to ignore the baser aspect of crude and illicit passions selfishly indulged. It is not the maternal woman who brings children into the world with a selfish disregard for the shame of their nameless birth.
While Prudence leaned from her window and thought of love and motherhood, she became abruptly and amazedly aware of a figure in the road beyond the high wall—a man’s figure, tall and straight in the moonlight—walking with a purposeful air down the hill towards the town. The man glanced up at the lighted window in which the girlish form was brightly framed, and broke off abruptly in the middle of a bar he was whistling softly, paused for the fraction of a second, and then went swinging on down the hill. He was a stranger; Prudence recognised that; there were no young men, except the factory employees and the tradesmen, in Wortheton.
“I wonder,” she murmured to herself, and leaned further out to look after the vanishing figure, “what it feels like to be in love...”
A sudden sense of chill touched her. The moon vanished behind a cloud, and a little cold breeze sprang up and played on her bare neck and arms. The garden showed dark with the white light withdrawn, dark and deserted. A shadowed loneliness had fallen on the spirit of the night.
Chapter Four.
“I want,” Prudence said in her soft appealing voice, “the sum of fifty pounds.”
Mr Graynor looked not unnaturally amazed. Prudence’s wants had never assumed such extravagant proportions before: it puzzled him to understand what she could possibly require to necessitate the demand for so large a sum, and, because he had only a few hours earlier refused to listen to another outrageous request of hers and told her a little harshly that there were matters with which she should not concern herself, he hoped, despite a general reluctance to part with money, that this further demand was one he could treat more generously. He put a large shaky hand on her curls and tilted her head back and smiled into the wide blue eyes.
“Fifty pounds, eh?” he said. “That’s a big sum, Prue.”
“You’ll let me have it?” she asked, and clasped her hands round his arm.
“That depends,” he answered, “on what you want it for.”
“I’d rather not tell that,” she said slowly.
Mr Graynor removed his hand. Secrecy savoured of a want of candour; he could not allow that.
“I can’t give you a cheque without knowing what you purpose spending the money on,” he said firmly. “It’s a big sum for a little girl—even for finery. You mustn’t develop extravagance.”
Prudence braced herself and faced him a little defiantly.
“It’s not for me,” she said. “I don’t need anything. But you are sending the Clapps away, and they’ve nowhere to go and no money. That isn’t just;


