the
Farmer over the Mechanic—Farm Life too Lonely-On Early Rising—Sleep
the Best Doctor—Fashion—Patriotism and Boarding Houses—The Farmer and
the Railroads—Money and Confidence—Demonetization of Silver-Area of
Illinois—Mortgages and Interest—Kindness to Wives and Children—How
a Beefsteak should be Cooked—Decorations and Comfort—Let the Children
Sleep—Old Age

WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?

WHAT MUST WE DO TO BE SAVED?
(1880.)
Preface—The Synoptic Gospels—Only Mark Knew of the Necessity of
Belief—Three Christs Described—The Jewish Gentleman and the Piece of
Bacon—Who Wrote the New Testament?—Why Christ and the Apostles wrote
Nothing—Infinite Respect for the Man Christ—Different Feeling for
the Theological Christ—Saved from What?—Chapter on the Gospel of
Matthew—What this Gospel says we must do to be Saved—Jesus and the
Children—John Calvin and Jonathan Edwards conceived of as Dimpled
Darlings—Christ and the Man who inquired what Good Thing he should
do that he might have Eternal Life—Nothing said about Belief—An
Interpolation—Chapter on the Gospel of Mark—The Believe or be Damned
Passage, and why it was written—The last Conversation of Christ with
his Disciples—The Signs that Follow them that Believe—Chapter on
the Gospel of Luke—Substantial Agreement with Matthew and Mark—How
Zaccheus achieved Salvation—The two Thieves on the Cross—Chapter
on the Gospel of John—The Doctrine of Regeneration, or the New
Birth—Shall we Love our Enemies while God Damns His?—Chapter on the
Catholics—Communication with Heaven through Decayed Saints—Nuns and
Nunneries—Penitentiaries of God should be Investigated—The
Athanasian Creed expounded—The Trinity and its Members—Chapter on the
Episcopalians—Origin of the Episcopal Church—Apostolic Succession
an Imported Article—Episcopal Creed like the Catholic, with a
few Additional Absurdities—Chapter on the Methodists—Wesley and
Whitfield—Their Quarrel about Predestination—Much Preaching for Little
Money—Adapted to New Countries—Chapter on the Presbyterians—John
Calvin, Murderer—Meeting between Calvin and Knox—The Infamy of
Calvinism—Division in the Church—The Young Presbyterian's Resignation
to the Fate of his Mother—A Frightful, Hideous, and Hellish
Creed—Chapter on the Evangelical Alliance—Jeremy Taylor's Opinion of
Baptists—Orthodoxy not Dead—Creed of the Alliance—Total Depravity,
Eternal Damnation—What do You Propose?—The Gospel of Good-fellowship,
Cheerfulness, Health, Good Living, Justice—No Forgiveness—God's
Forgiveness Does not Pay my Debt to Smith—Gospel of Liberty, of
Intelligence, of Humanity—One World at a Time—"Upon that Rock I
Stand"

PUBLISHER'S PREFACE.

IN presenting to the public this edition of the late Robert G. Ingersoll's works, it has been the aim of the publisher to make it worthy of the author and a pleasure to his friends and admirers. No one can be more conscious than he of the magnitude of the task undertaken, or more keenly feel how far short it must fall of adequate accomplishment.

When it is remembered that countless utterances of the author were never caught from his eloquent lips, it is matter for congratulation that so much has been preserved. The authorized addresses, arguments and articles that have already appeared in print and passed the review of the authors more or less careful inspection, will be readily recognized as accurate and complete; but in this latest and fullest compilation are many emanations from his heart and brain that have never had his scrutiny, were not revised by him, and that yet, by general judgment, should not be lost to the world.

These unedited sundries consist of fragments of speeches and incompleted articles discovered amongst the authors literary remains and for unknown reasons left in more or less unfinished form. It has been the publisher's ambition to gather these fugitive pieces and place them in this edition by the side of the saved treasures. Whether the work has been well or ill done a generous public must decide, while the sole responsibility must rest with, as it has been assumed by, the publisher.

In carrying out the design of the present edition, the publisher gratefully acknowledges the assistance of Mr. Ingersoll's family, who have freely placed at his disposal many papers, inscriptions, monographs, memoranda and pages of valuable material.

Recognition is also here made of the kind courtesy of the press and of publishers of magazines who have generously permitted the publication of articles originally written for them.

Finally, the publisher gives his thanks to all the devoted friends of the author who in many ways, by suggestion and unselfish labor, have aided in getting out this work. Of these, none have been more unremitting in service, and to none is the publisher more indebted, than to Mr. I. Newton Baker, Mr. Ingersoll's former private secretary, to Dr. Edgar C. Beall, and to Mr. George E. Macdonald for the fine Tables of Contents and the very valuable Index to this edition.

C. P. FARRELL.

New York, July, 1900.

THE GODS

An Honest God is the Noblest Work of Man.

EACH nation has created a god, and the god has always resembled his creators. He hated and loved what they hated and loved, and he was invariably found on the side of those in power. Each god was intensely patriotic, and detested all nations but his own. All these gods demanded praise, flattery, and worship. Most of them were pleased with sacrifice, and the smell of innocent blood has ever been considered a divine perfume. All these gods have insisted upon having a vast number of priests, and the priests have always insisted upon being supported by the people, and the principal business of these priests has been to boast about their god, and to insist that he could easily vanquish all the other gods put together.

These gods have been manufactured after numberless models, and according to the most grotesque fashions. Some have a thousand arms, some a hundred heads, some are adorned with necklaces of living snakes, some are armed with clubs, some with sword and shield, some with bucklers, and some have wings as a cherub; some were invisible, some would show themselves entire, and some would only show their backs; some were jealous, some were foolish, some turned themselves into men, some into swans, some into bulls, some into doves, and some into Holy Ghosts, and made love to the beautiful daughters of men. Some were married—all ought to have been—and some were considered as old bachelors from all eternity. Some had children, and the children were turned into gods and worshiped as their fathers had been. Most of these gods were revengeful, savage, lustful, and ignorant. As they generally depended upon their priests for information, their ignorance can hardly excite our astonishment.

These gods did not even know the shape of the worlds they had created, but supposed them perfectly flat Some thought the day could be lengthened by stopping the sun, that the blowing of horns could throw down the walls of a city, and all knew so little of the real nature of the people they had created, that they commanded the people to love them. Some were so ignorant as to suppose that man could believe just as he might desire, or as they might command, and that to be governed by observation, reason, and