قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 105 October 7, 1893
We have pleasant joint memories, many,
Since you fought the good fight on the Paper Duty and a Press at the Popular Penny!
Colourable.
["The banners of most of the Dutch regiments have hitherto been those captured from the French at Waterloo in 1815, since when they have never been renewed."—Daily News, September 22.]
The Dutch have had second-hand flags to fight under;
And so if "Dutch courage" mean borrowed, what wonder?
Hiss-trionic Query.—Where exists the theatrical manager who, utterly disregardless of tradition and reckless as to the omen of "the Bird," would have produced a new piece for the first time last Friday night, which was Michaelmas Day, the day sacred to the Goose? We know of only one manager likely to be so bold, and he would not be so audacious as to defy the combined omens of ill.
Ichabod!
(As it generally seems now in Sculling Matches on the Thames.)
Row, brothers, row! But you don't row fast!
It's foreigner first, and Britisher last!
John no longer can sing now, "I says the Bull"
(As in Poor Cock Robin), "because I can pull!"
Coal and Drama.—Mr. John Hollingshead says that the Princess's Pit, which has been closed for a long time, will be at once re-opened. The price has been generally accepted.
News of the Matabele.—The "Impi" are "suffering from want of supplies." They are impi-cunious.
The Most Gratuitous Form of Vice.—Ad-vice!
THE REIGN OF RINGLETS.
["It is announced that ringlets are to be worn again by ladies, and that side whiskers are coming in for fashionable men."—Daily News.]
Oh prospect Elysian! It called back a vision
Of youth, and those girls of John Leech's, John Leech's,
Of "corkscrews" that "doddle" all round a fair noddle,
Blue eyes and flushed cheeks like ripe peaches, ripe peaches.
I think of sweet Nelly, whose curls, like a jelly,
Shook soft as she "spooned" me at croquet, at croquet.
But then came lawn tennis old fashion to menace,
And croquet and curls were dubbed "pokey," dubbed "pokey."
But ringlets! O rapture! One spiral to capture
Of Nell's many hundreds and snip it, and snip it,
Was simply delightful. She'd swear she "looked frightful"
As into my bosom I'd slip it, I'd slip it.
But one among dozens, on heads like my cousin's,
Love-larceny was, and not robbery, robbery.
If now I dared sever from "tousle-mops" clever
One tress, there would be a rare bobbery, bobbery.
Ah me! how times alter! My scissors would falter
In trying a Rape of the Lock to-day, Lock to-day.
Nell's trim buxom body, with curls thick and "doddy,"
Would strike the æsthete with a shock to-day, shock to-day.
You only see ringlets on some "poor old thing." Let's
Be kind to the passé, but primness, but primness,
With "winkle" curls shaking, is not very taking,
When linked with old-spinster-like slimness,—like slimness.
I know an "old Biddy"—her name is Miss Twiddy—
Who revels in ringlets curled carefully, carefully.
Oh how they doddle around her old noddle!
She's "songful," a taste which I share fully, share fully.
But when she will warble of Halls—they're of Marble,—
Or Meetings by Moonlight, I'm sorry, I'm sorry
To see curls, and passion, so out of the fashion,
Made mock of by "Up-to-date" Florry, -date Florry.
But ringlets reviving? Miss Twiddy's long striving
For "Passion's Response" mayn't be hopeless, be hopeless.
In "Days of Pomatum" (for that's how I date 'em)
They used more Macassar, and soap less, and soap less!
Inopportune rain then put things out of train then,
Nell's mop, how a shower would spoil it, would spoil it!
Curl-papers, concealing—but there, I'm revealing
The mysteries dark of the toilet, the toilet.
But ringletted friskers, and mutton-chop whiskers,
For "buns" and blue gills closely shaven, -ly shaven!
'Tis sheer revolution! High Art's contribution
Will be first to croak à la raven, la raven.
Will girls then all giggle with ringlets a-wriggle,
As most of the maids of my youth did, my youth did?
Will male "mutton-chopper," scowl pompously proper,
Like Dombey—as our sires in sooth did, in sooth did?
LIFE (AND DEATH) IN SOUTH AMERICA.
(Diary of the week's doings, from our own Correspondent on the Spot.)
Monday.—Matters are still very unsettled, and it will take some time before public confidence is entirely restored. The policy of the President in defending the Tramways Extension Bill from the citadel with grape-shot is condemned as an unwise stretch of the provisions of the Constitution. It has caused a reorganisation in the Cabinet, the Secretary for the Interior having resigned, taking with him six regiments of cavalry, four battalions of infantry, and three brigades of artillery. This desertion has naturally lessened the chance of the Employers' Liability Amendment Bill passing this session except at the point of the bayonet. The division on the first reading of the Telegraph State Construction Bill was Ayes, 50 killed, 3 wounded; Noes, 12 killed, 172 wounded. Should this measure pass its second reading it will be opposed from barricades in committee.
Tuesday.—Trade shows some signs of revival, but the continual bombardment of the Stock Exchange by the opposition fleet in the offing causes considerable confusion and annoyance. The Minister of War has retired into a parliamentary cave accompanied by the militia. It is considered not improbable that this member of the ministry may throw his ammunition into the scale against his colleagues. The Pauper Property Insurance Bill has not much chance of passing during the present year, unless its supporters can bombard the capital. The second reading of the Lunacy Acts Consolidation Bill was passed with the assistance of three ironclads and a torpedo catcher. In spite of the pacific turn that events are now taking, some of the older inhabitants express considerable uneasiness.
Wednesday.—The British Consul has given notice that he will hold the ministry responsible for the damage done to his residence. On