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Scene—In a 'Bus.

First City Man. "D——d hot, isn't—— I—I beg your pardon, madam, I—I quite forgot there was a lady pres——"

Stout Party. "Don't apologise. It's much worse than that!"

THE CAPITALISTS

"What, Brown, my boy, is that you?" said Smith, heartily.

"The same, and delighted to see you," was the reply.

"Have you heard the news, my dear fellow?" asked Smith.

"You mean about the position of the Bank of England? Why, certainly; all the City is talking about it."

"Ah, it is absolutely grand! Never was the Old Lady of Threadneedle Street in such a strong position. Marvellous! my dear friend; absolutely marvellous!"

"Quite so. Never were we—as a people—so rich!"

"Yes, prosperity seems to be coming back by leaps and bounds."

"You never said anything so true," observed Smith.

"Right you are," cried Brown.

And then the two friends shook hands once more with increased cordiality, and passed on. They walked in different directions a few steps, and both stopped. They turned round.

"Smith," said Brown, "I have to ask you a trifling favour."

"Brown, it is granted before I know its purport."

"Well, the truth is, I am penniless—lend me half-a-crown."

Smith paused for a moment.

"You surely do not wish to refuse me?" asked Brown in a tone of pained surprise.

"I do not, Smith," replied his friend, with fervour. "Indeed, I do not!"

"Then produce the two-and-sixpence."

"I would, my dear fellow, if in the wide world I could raise it!"

And then the ancient comrades shook hands once again, and parted in sorrow, but not in anger. They felt that after all they were only in the fashion.

A NEGLECTED INDUSTRY

"'Ow are yer gettin' on, Bill?"

"Ain't gettin' on at all. I'm beginnin' to think as the publick doesn't know what they wants!"

Too Common a Thing.

A member of a limited liability company in a bad way, said he should turn itinerant preacher. He was asked why? He said he had had a call.

Country Cousin. "Do you stop at the Cecil?"

'Bus Driver. "Do I stop at the Cecil!—on twenty-eight bob a week!"

Frightful Levity.

Bus-Driver. "Hullo, gov'nour; got any room?"

Policeman, Driving Van (with great want of self-respect). "Just room for one; saved a place