قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107 July 7, 1894, by Various
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 107 July 7, 1894, by Various
rid o' this Stuff!"
[Indicates with his left thumb the crush of Loungers who are patiently waiting his leave and help to get across to "The Ladies' Mile."
THE BATTLE OF THE BUDGET.
(Some Way after Southey's "Battle of Blenheim.")
"Old Kaspar" ... Sir W. V. H-rc-rt.
I.
It was a summer evening,
Old Kaspar's work was done;
And he before his cottage door
Was resting in the sun,
And by him sported on the green
Bung's little daughter, Witlerine.
II.
She saw Bull's youngest, Johnnykin,
Roll something large and round
Which he beside the village pump
In playing there had found;
He came to ask what he had found
That was so large, and smooth, and round.
III.
Old Kaspar took it from the boy,
And winked a wary eye;
And then the old man shook his head,
And with a natural sigh,
"This is some Landlord's skull," said he,
"Who fell in our Great Victory!
IV.
"This jug of ale, my Witlerine,
Seems rather thin and flat!
Eh! 'Budget-Beer,' of the new tap?
Watered, and weak at that!
Humph! With it, then, I mustn't quarrel,
It is that sixpence on the barrel!
V.
"There is some comfort in this skull.
Hope there'll be more about!
Death has its Duties, may have more,
As rich folk will find out;
For many wealthy men," said he,
"Were 'hit,' in our Great Victory!"
VI.
"Now tell us what 'twas all about,"
Young Johnnykin he cries;
And little Witlerine looks up
With wonder-waiting eyes;
"Now tell us of that Budget war,
And what they whopped each other for."
VII.
"It was the Rads," old Kaspar cried,
"That put the Nobs to rout.
But what we whopped each other for
Some people can't make out.
But 'twas a long, hard fight," quoth he,
"And we'd a well-earned Victory!
VIII.
"Eaton Hall, Chatsworth, Blenheim, then
Raised quite a Bitter Cry;
Dukes said their dwellings they'd shut up,
(Though that was all my eye!)
They'd be hard put to it (they said)
To keep a roof above their head.
IX.
"With protests loud the country round
Was ringing far and wide;
Our 'Predatory Policy'
(As usual) was decried.
But such things will attend," said he,
"A Democratic Victory!
X.
"They said it was a shocking sight
After the fight was won
To see rich Landlords quake with fear—
And to their lawyers run!
But things like that, you know, must be
After a Liberal Victory.
XI.
"Great terror seized on Brother Bung;
The brewers all turned green."
"That was a very cruel thing!"
Said little Witlerine.
"Nay, nay, you naughty girl!" quoth he;
"It was a—People's Victory!
XII.
"And everybody praised the Knight
Who such a fight did win!"
"But what good comes of it—to us?"
Quoth little Johnnykin.
"Ah! if you live, you'll learn!" said he;
"But 'twas a Glorious Victory!
XIII.
"I don't quite like this Budget-Beer,
It savours of the pump.
But—there's a meaning in that skull
Will make the Landlords jump,—
Both Peers and Bungs; and that," quoth he,
"Makes it a fruitful Victory!"
A great many young ladies have a literary taste just now, and during this warm weather are rushing into print.
LYRE AND LANCET.
(A Story in Scenes.)
PART I.—SHADOWS CAST BEFORE.
Scene I.—Sir Rupert Culverin's Study at Wyvern Court. It is a rainy Saturday morning in February. Sir Rupert is at his writing-table, as Lady Culverin enters with a deprecatory air.
Lady Culverin. So here you are, Rupert! Not very busy, are you? I won't keep you a moment. (She goes to a window.) Such a nuisance it's turning out so wet with all these people in the house, isn't it?
Sir Rupert. Well, I was thinking that, as there's nothing doing out of doors, I might get a chance to knock off some of these confounded accounts, but—(resignedly)—if you think I ought to go and look after——
Lady Culv. No, no, the men are playing billiards, and the women are in the Morning Room—they're all right. I only wanted to ask you about to-night. You know the Lullingtons and the dear Bishop and Mrs. Rodney, and one or two other people, are coming to dinner? Well, who ought to take in Rohesia?
Sir Rup. (in dismay). Rohesia! No idea she was coming down this week!
Lady Culv. Yes, by the 4.45. With dear Maisie. Surely you knew that?
Sir Rup. In a sort of way; didn't realise it was so near, that's all.
Lady Culv. It's some time since we had her last. And she wanted to come. I didn't think you would like me to write and put her off.
Sir Rup. Put her off? Of course I shouldn't, Albinia. If my only sister isn't welcome at Wyvern at any time—I say, at any time—where the deuce is she welcome?
Lady Culv. I don't know, dear Rupert. But—but about the table?
Sir Rup. So long as you don't put her near me—that's all I care about.
Lady Culv. I mean—ought I to send her in with Lord Lullington, or the Bishop?
Sir Rup. Why not let 'em toss up? Loser gets her, of course.
Lady Culv. Rupert! As if I could suggest such a thing to the Bishop! I suppose she'd better go in with Lord Lullington—he's Lord Lieutenant—and then it won't matter if she does advocate Disestablishment. Oh, but I forgot; she thinks the House of Lords ought to be abolished too!
Sir Rup. Whoever takes Rohesia in is likely to have a time of it. Talked poor Cantire into his tomb a good ten years before he was due there. Always lecturing, and domineering, and laying down the law, as long as
