left them there, and——(The door opens.) They're coming back!

Mr. Toov. (entering). That's really a very honest young fellow, my love, nothing will satisfy him but bringing in the article he's found, and seeing whether it belongs to you or not.

Mrs. Toov. (breathlessly). And have you seen it, Pa—have you seen it?

Mr. Toov. Not yet, dear love, not yet. He's getting it out of his great coat in the hall.

Curph. (starting up from behind Althea). I think, if you will allow me, I'll go and speak to him first. It strikes me that I may know the lady who was in that box, and I'm naturally anxious to avoid any——

[He goes out.

End of Scene XIX.

Scene XX.—A few minutes later.

Mrs. Toov. (to herself, in a fever). Why doesn't he come back? What are those two plotting together? Oh, if Mr. Wildfire imagines he will get a hold over me, so as to obtain my consent to—— I'd sooner tell Pa everything! (To Curphew, who reenters, smiling.) W—where is—the other?

Curph. The other? Oh, he's gone. I made myself known to him; and you would have been surprised, my dear Mrs. Toovey, at the immense effect my professional name had upon him. When he realised I was Walter Wildfire he was willing to do anything for me, and so I easily got him to entrust his find to me.

Mr. Toov. (inquisitively). And what is it—a fan, or a glove? There would be no harm in showing it to us, eh?

Curph. Well, really, it's so very unlikely to compromise anybody that I almost think I might. Yes, there can't be any objection.

[He takes something out of his pocket, and presents it to Mr. T.

Mr. Toov. (mystified). Why, it's only a hairpin! What a scrupulously honest young man that is, to be sure!

Mrs. Toov. (relieved). Only a hairpin? (Then, uneasily, to Curph., in an undertone.) Where is—you know what? Have you kept it to use for your own advantage?

Curph. (in the same tone). I am a very bad man, I know; but I don't blackmail. You will find it behind the card-basket in the hall.

[Mrs. T. goes out; Alth. draws Curph. aside.

Alth. Clarence, I—I must know; how did you come to have a—a hairpin? where did it come from? (As he softly touches the back of her head.) Oh! it was mine, then? What a goose I am?

Mr. Toov. (as Mrs. T. returns). Why, Cornelia, my love, so you've found your spectacles! Now where did you leave them this time, my dear, eh?

Mrs. Toov. Where I shall not leave them again in a hurry, Theophilus!

Mr. Toov. Don't you be too sure of that, my love. By the way, Mr. Curphew, that lady of your acquaintance—you know, the one who made all this disturbance at the Eldorado—is she at all like Mrs. Toovey, now?

Curph. (after reflection). Well, really, there is a resemblance—at a distance!

Mr. Toov. (peevishly). Then it's annoying—very annoying; because it might compromise my poor dear wife, you know. I—I wish you could give her a quiet hint to—to avoid such places in future!

Curph. Do you know, Sir, I really think it will be quite unnecessary.

[Phœbe enters to announce dinner.

Mr. Toov. Dinner, eh? Yes, yes, dinner, to be sure. Mr. Curphew, will you take in my dau——(correcting himself)—oh, but, dear me, I was quite forgetting that—h'm!——

Curph. ——that Mrs. Toovey has been expressing an ardent impatience to close your doors on me for ever?

Mrs. Toov. (not over graciously). That was before—— I mean that—considering the manner in which we all of us seem to have been more or less mixed up with the music-hall of late—we can't afford to be too particular. If Mr. Wildfire chooses to stay, he will find as warm a welcome as—(with a gulp)—he can expect!

Curph. Many thanks, but I'm sure you see that I can't stay here on sufferance. If I do stay it must be as——

Mrs. T. As one of the family! (She chokes.) That—that's understood, of course. (To herself.) They know too much!

Mr. T. (to Mrs. T., chirpily, as the others precede them in to dinner). Do you know, my love, I'd no more idea you would ever have—— Well, well, it might have been worse, I daresay. But we must never let it get out about the music-hall, eh?

Mrs. T. Well, Pa, I'm not very likely to allude to it!

The End.

"Crystal-Gazing."—The Crystal Palace Company should adapt some of Mr. Andrew Lang's article on "Superstition" in this month's Fortnightly. Far more entertaining is the Sydenham building than any amount of "Crystal-gazing," and the directors have only to say (we make them a Christmas present of the suggestion), quoting from the article above-mentioned, "it is an ascertained fact that a certain proportion of men and women, educated, healthy," &c., &c., can obtain curious information, combined with amusement, by looking into the Crystal ... Palace.

Example of "Burning Words."—Lighting the dining-room fire with the torn pages of an old book.

OUR COSTLY CLIMATE.

"Hullo? Off out of Town somewhere?"

"Off to Cairo, my Boy!"

"Cairo? Why, only the other day you told me you were as Poor As a Church Mouse!"

"That's just it. I've spent Five Years' Income on Clothing already this Winter, and I'm not Warm yet; and I've calculated that it'll take Seven Years' Income more before I can keep the Cold out. So I'm off to Cairo to stop at the best Hotel—it's far cheaper!"

POISON IN THE PUMP.

[A medical writer in the Gentleman's Magazine says, "more people are killed by drinking water than are killed by drinking alcohol."]