OLD CIDER MILL: grind your engine, LADDIE, and get away from this DESERTED VILLAGE, for this may be a ZEPPELIN NIGHT, an' you know only innocent people, like ourselves, are killed on those nights, an' don't get twisted up in your untied SHOESTRINGS, an' don't SOUND your horn."

And THE MAN AT THE WHEEL soon had the motor ON SIXTH SPEED, rushing in FULL SWING, along THE ROMANTIC ROAD.

VI: INTRODUCES THE HEROINE.

The Brighton EXPRESS, having arrived at WATERLOO, some FORTY MINUTES LATE, the Duke and his newly-made DUCHESS at once proceeded to HIS WIFE, Celeste's APARTMENT in THE HOUSE IN SPRING GARDENS, where dinner awaited them.

"SWEETHEART," said the Duke, "you look a DREAM in that COSTUME; to-day a DUCHESS OF FEW CLOTHES, TO-MORROW, of many: do you know, I feel we are like THE CHILDREN WHO RAN AWAY: I really don't deserve all this HAPPINESS: WHEN A MAN MARRIES or the woman goes IN SEARCH OF A HUSBAND, they naturally have GREAT EXPECTATIONS for a HAPPY LIFE, and I know we are not going to be disappointed."

"And I am going to be a SUCCESSFUL WIFE," said the Duchess.

"But to RETURN to our talk about your parents: I must find this so-called NURSE NORAH; I am convinced that you are not the DAUGHTER of Anderson Crow."

"Of course I'm not, JACK, but whose daughter am I? I am IN THE DARK; when JUST A LITTLE GIRL, I was sent to school at STRATFORD-ON-AVON where on SATURDAY MORNINGS, I was visited by a woman who called herself MY AUNT JEANNETTE, and spoke of me as A DAUGHTER OF THE RICH; MY SCHOOL LIFE taught me THE VALUE OF COURAGE, but played HAVOC with my disposition: the HOUR OF CONFLICT had to come, of course: and then DIMBIE AND I ran away to TOWN and I soon became one of THE PLAYERS O'LONDON, and you know the REST."

"I shall certainly see YARBOROUGH THE PREMIER: he is familiar with LONDON of twenty...."

"His Grace is wanted on the TELEPHONE," said the maid.

"Yes: Jameson: NO: very well: GREAT CATHERINE: very well."

"I must leave you for a while, my dear; SANDY wants to see me and Inspector Morgan is coming to my chambers; Jameson says something important: ALL ABOUT ME: JUST FANCY: so GOOD BYE SWEETHEART, you are going to be A JOY FOREVER, and these are going to be GREAT DAYS for us; LIFE IS A DREAM really."

After leaving SPRING Gardens, the Duke, who did not consider WALKING A FINE ART, proceeded slowly along KENSINGTON road, ON THE LOOKOUT for FAMILIAR FACES, and at THE STREET CALLED STRAIGHT, was stopped by a sign NO THOROUGHFARE, where a subway was under construction, and was accosted by a bibulous INDIVIDUAL, who had just waded through a mortar box, and who said:

"Greash Scott: ole BOY" said THE MAN WITH THE IRON SHOES, swinging his GOLD HEADED CANE, "who'd thought—hic—it'd snowed so hard in thish one spot: Sir: wantchew t'know, I'm fren' of Sir Jaff'y Gotdough: an' he's dead."

The Duke had proceeded as far as Addison Road station, when a hansom pulled up towards him, and he immediately recognized the occupant as his cousin the Lady Evelyn, who said—

"Jack: I've been watching for you: Jameson said you were in SPRING Gardens, but preferred not to give the number: said it was NORTH OF FIFTY-THREE: jump in, please; I know it is not GOOD FORM FOR WOMEN to be driving ALONE in a public vehicle, and I feel like one of THE GIRL ROUGH RIDERS."

"Well; MY LADY CAPRICE, I WAS THINKING OF YOU; what's on HER LADYSHIP'S CONSCIENCE?"

"Jack: I want this to be A CHRONICLE OF FRIENDSHIPS: I know you will ask BY WHAT AUTHORITY, am I interesting myself in your affairs, but do let us be COMRADES, let me tell you that the Major has been telling me about your FRIEND, THE CHORUS LADY, THE IDOL OF THE TOWN, as she is called—now keep your temper—please, only nice things to say—I AM convinced that she is a lovely and remarkable girl, and not a mere FLUFFY RUFFLES: the Major says she is not the daughter of THE ADVENTURER, Crow."

"But, my dear EVELYN, you of all others; you are THE ONE WOMAN to interest yourself: it is amazing."

"No sarcasm, JACK, you know I care lots for you, FOR SUCH IS LIFE, and if you really want to marry the girl, you may count on me: but I came to tell you, that ONE DAY, some time ago, ON OUR STREET, my motor ran down a WOMAN; of course you will say the INEVITABLE, WOMAN IN THE WAY, and thinking her only stunned ordered her carried into the HOUSE, and called THE DOCTOR, and after an examination, DR. DAVID ordered absolute quiet and forbade her immediate removal: for three days, the woman raved about THE MALEFACTOR, Celeste, Cammerleigh, Crow, and THE FRUIT OF THE TREE: ordinarily, one does not give these ravings a second thought for delirious persons seem to have A PERFECT PASSION for raving ON ANYTHING, but the things next to their HEART, but the names struck me very forcibly; is it not curious THE WAY THINGS HAPPEN; NIGHT AND MORNING, from NINE UNTIL SIX-THIRTY, she kept it up: I think, at the time of the accident, the WOMAN was being followed, as Denis has seen the same man watching THE HOUSE: the woman finally recovered and upon being interrogated, admitted that she expected to need a large sum of MONEY, and asked if I would be willing to give two thousand pounds for her SECRET: of course I agreed, with a string attached, meaning of course, that being a woman, you have a perfect right to change YOUR MIND, whereupon, she said that when I receive a box containing a red lily, I must at once visit the PRINCESS Dehra: TO-MORROW, I shall tell you what I have discovered at the PRINCESS Dehra's."

"Truly, EVELYN, you're a wonder: I believe you are going to help this LITTLE DUKE, as you helped LITTLE ROB ROBIN: the deed has been done, I have paid THE PRICE OF LOVE: I was MARRIED at BRIGHTON this morning."

"I am very glad, JACK; and I WISH YOU JOY: I KNOW she is a dear girl.... By-the-bye, I am still undecided about becoming SIR JAFFRAY'S WIFE: I had hoped to make something out of him, but...."

"About how much: a million?" forgetting, for the moment, that he had just heard of the death of this unfortunate individual.

"Sarcastic again, Jack: but here we are at Brook street: driver: No. SEVENTEEN Grosvenor square: Good-night, Jack; come to see me TO-MORROW, and trust to my JUDGMENT."

VII: THE CRISIS.

"HELLO! Sandy, OLD MAN: how are you? is THE LURE OF THE CITY too much for you? take that chair, please."

"Thanks: I really would not know what to do with it."

"Same old joker, I see: but tell me about THE MARRIAGE OF THEODORA: when I heard of THE SUICIDE of her UNCLE WILLIAM.... By-the-bye, WHY DID HE DO IT?"

"Well: I suppose THE UNFORSEEN happened, and, I dare say, he feared BARON TRIGAULT'S VENGEANCE and moreover, I fancy he could not have stood THE TEST of the probable revelations of RAILWAY MISRULE: SO THEY WERE MARRIED, not AT THE VILLA ROSE, but at THE HOUSE OF SERRAVALLE, you know THE RED-HOUSE ON ROWAN STREET, on THE UP GRADE from WOODSTOCK, on THE SUNNY SIDE OF THE HILL: THEODORA'S HUSBAND, MR. OPP, is, by LONG ODDS, the nicest chap I have met in years: of course, it was a MARRIAGE A LA MODE, as he has inherited the greater portion of JOHN MARSH'S MILLIONS, and he has undertaken THE EDUCATION OF JACQUELINE, THE RED HEAD, you know: rather AN EMBARRASSING ORPHAN, but a jolly keen one, just the same: knows about THREE HUNDRED THINGS A BRIGHT GIRL CAN DO, and she will be A SUCCESS IN LIFE: but of all the FAIRIES I HAVE MET...."

"Inspector Morgan, your Grace," announces Jameson.

"Sorry, Sandy, I'll see you later. Morgan, I've been AN EXILE FROM LONDON for one whole day: what's the news?"

"I thought your Grace would like to be in at THE ROUND-UP to-night, as I believe you will have some personal interest in the case: I have not all the ends joined: there are a few FRAGMENTS THAT REMAIN unattached, but it is only a question of getting UNDER