قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing
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I thort it was not werry wise
To let them thus spile her nice close.
So I said to her, lowly and gently,
"Shall I elp you, O fair lovely gal?"
And she ansered, "O dear Mr. Bentley,
If you thinks as you can, why you shall."
And her butifull eyes shone like dimans,
As britely each gleamed thro a tear,
And her smile it was jest like a dry man's
When he's quenching his thirst with sum beer.
Why she called me at wunce Mr. Bentley,
I sort quite in wain to dishcover;
Or weather 'twas dun accidently,
I then set to work most discreetly,
And packed all the eggs with great care;
And I did it so nicely and neatly,
That I saw that my skill made her stare.
So wen all my tarsk was quite ended,
She held out her two lilly hands,
And shook mine, and thank'd me, and wended
Her way from the river's brite sands.
And from that day to this tho I've stayed,
I've entirely failed to diskever
The name of that brite dairy-maid
As broke thirteen eggs by the river.
LOCKS ON THE THAMES
Sculler. "Just half a turn of the head, love, or we shall be among the rushes!"
THE STEAMER
Old Mr. Squeamish, who has been on deck for his wrapper, finds his comfortable place occupied by a hairy mossoo!
OTHERWISE ENGAGED!
And so they sat in the boat and looked into one another's eyes, and found much to read in them. They ignored the presence of the houseboats, and scarcely remembered that there were such things as launches propelled by steam or electricity. And they turned deaf ears to the niggers, and did not want their fortunes told by dirty females of a gipsy type.
"This is very pleasant," said Edwin.
"Isn't it?" replied Angelina; "and it's such a good place for seeing all the events."
"Admirable!" and they talked of other things; and the time sped on, and the dark shadows grew, and still they talked, and talked, and talked.
At length the lanterns on the river began to glow, and Henley put on its best appearance, and broke out violently into fireworks. It was then Mrs. Grundy spied them out. She had been on the look out for scandal all day long, but could find none. This seemed a pleasant and promising case.
"So you are here!" she exclaimed. "Why, we thought you must have gone long ago! And what do you say of the meeting?"
"A most perfect success," said he.
"And the company?"
"Could not be more charming," was her reply.
"And what did you think of the racing?" Then they looked at one another and smiled. They spoke together, and observed:—
"Oh, we did not think of the racing!"
And Mrs. Grundy was not altogether satisfied.
OVERHEARD ON AN ATLANTIC LINER
She (on her first trip to Europe). "I guess you like London?"
He. "Why, yes. I guess I know most people in London. I was over there last fall!"
"VIDE UT SUPRA"
LEST MEN FORGET;
[This is to be a river season. Father Thames is an excellent matchmaker.—Lady's Pictorial.]
Oh, what is a maid to do
When never a swain will woo;
When Viennese dresses
And eddying tresses
And eyes of a heavenly blue,
Are treated with high disdain
By the cold and the careless swain,
When soft showered glances
At dinners and dances
Are sadly but truly vain?
Ah, then, must a maid despair?
Ah, no, but betimes repair
With her magical tresses
And summery dresses
To upper Thames reaches, where
She turns her wan cheek to the sun
(Of lesser swains she will none);
Her glorious flame,
Well skilled in the game,
And cheeks that had lost their charm
Grow rosy and soft and warm;
Eyes lately so dull
Of sun-light are full
As masculine hearts with alarm.
For jealousy by degrees
Steals over the swain who sees
The cheek he was slighting
Another delighting,
And so he is brought to his knees.
AT THE UNIVERSITY BOAT-RACE
Extract from Miss X's letter to a friend in the country:—"Mr. Robin Blobbs offered to take us in his boat. Aunt accepted for Jenny, Fanny, Ethel, little Mary, and myself. Oh, such a time! Mr. Blobbs lost his head and his scull, and we were just rescued from upset by the police. 'Never again with you, Robin!'"
THE AMATEUR YACHTSMAN
I'm bad when
