قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch Afloat: The Humours of Boating and Sailing
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
on 'em had jest a glass or two of wine and a sandwich, and all a arsking that most important of all questions on bord a Tems Yot, "What time do we lunch?" And by 2 a clock sharp they was all seated at it, and pegging away at the Sammon and the pidgin pie, het settera, as if they was harf-starved, and ewen arter that, the butiful desert and the fine old Port Wine was left upon the table, and I can troothfully state that the cabin was never wunce quite empty till we was again doing full justice to Mr. Skindel's maynoo.
"EXEMPLI GRATIA"
Ancient Mariner (to credulous yachtsman). "A'miral Lord Nelson! Bless yer, I knowed him; served under him. Many's the time I've as'ed him for a bit o' 'bacco, as I might be a astin' o' you; and says he, 'Well, I ain't got no 'bacco,' jest as you might say to me; 'but here's a shillin' for yer,' says he"!!
ABOVE BRIDGE BOAT AGROUND OFF CHISWICK
"IT'S AN ILL WIND," &c.
Rescuer. "Hold on a bit! I may never get a chance like this again!"
HAPPY THOUGHT.—DAVID COX REDIVIVUS!
BO'SEN JAMES AND THE GREAT SEA-SARPINT
Three bold sailormen all went a-sailin'
Out into the Northern Sea,
And they steered Nor'-West by three quarters West
Till they came to Norwegee.
They was three bold men as ever you'd see,
And these was their Christian names:
There was Long-legged Bill and Curly Dick,
And the third was Bo'sen James;—
And they went to catch the Great Sea-Sarpint,
Which they wished for to stop his games.
Long-legged Bill was in the main-top a-watchin'
For Sea-Sarpints, starn and grim,
When through the lee-scupper bold Curly Dick peeped,
And he says, says he, "That's him"!
Then quick down the rattlins the long-legged 'un slid—
Which pale as a shrimp was he—
While Dick he rolled forrard into the cuddy,
Where Bo'sen James happened to be,
For James he was what you'd call the ship's cook,
And he was a-makin' the tea.
Then says Curly Dick, says he, "Bless my peepers!"
(Which his words were not quite those)
"Here's the Great Sea-Sarpint a-comin' aboard,
With a wart upon his nose!
Which his head's as big as the jolly-boat,
And his mouth's as wide as the Thames,
And his mane's as long as the best bower cable,
And his eyes like blazin' flames—
And he's comin' aboard right through the lee-scupper!"
"Belay there!" says Bo'sen James.
Howsever, bold Bo'sen he went down to leeward,
While Curly Dick shook with funk;
And Long-legged Bill he hid in the caboose,
A-yellin' "We'll all be sunk!"
You might a'most heard a marlinspike drop
As Bo'sen James he looked out.
Then down through the scupper his head it went,
And there came a tremenjous shout,
"Sea-Sarpint be blowed, ye darned landlubbers!
Who's left this here mop hangin' out?"
HINTS FOR HENLEY
Take care to be invited to the best situated houseboat.
If you can, get permission to ask a few friends to join your host's party at luncheon.
Be sure to secure the pleasantest seat, the most amusing neighbour, and all the periodicals.
If you are conversationally inclined, monopolise the talk, and if you are not, plead a headache for keeping every one silent.
Mind that "No. 1" is your particular numerical distinction, and that the happiness of the rest of the world is a negligible quantity.
If you are a man, keep smoking cigars and sipping refreshing beverages until it is time to eat and drink seriously; if you are of the other sex, flirt, chatter, or sleep, as the impulse moves you.
And when you are quite, quite sure that you have nothing better to do, give a glance to the racing!
HOPE DEFERRED
Jones (who is not feeling very well). "How long did you say it would take us to get back?"
Boatman. "'Bout 'n 'our an' a 'arf agin this tide."
HOW TO ENJOY LIFE ON THE RIVER
Get a houseboat and be sure that it is water-tight and free from rats and other unpleasant visitors.
Take care that your servants have no objection
