liberty.

Walter. Then you admit that there is a certain amount of risk attached to the experiment?

Fer. I admit nothing of the sort. There isn't the least risk.

Walter. Then why do not you submit yourself to the ordeal?

Fer. Damme, sir, don't you understand that as the proprietor of the patent I couldn't safely show any one how to bring me to life again? There's only one man could do it, and that's the American inventor; and he's such a devilish grasping fellow that when he hears I've brought the thing over here without consulting him, he'd be capable of keeping me suspended indefinitely.

Mr. W. Then how do you mean to proceed?

Fer. Oh! look out for a felon. England is the best field for that sort of thing, and that's why I came over here. I'm not going to ask any more private individuals. I'm sick of it, and won't give myself the pain of receiving any more refusals. I confess I've buoyed myself up with the hope that I should find a felon in my own family, which would make things easy and pleasant for me. Is there one, uncle? I said good-by to a lot of cousins who promised well in that direction.

Mr. W. No, Ferdinand, there isn't one.

Fer. Hard lines, because there must be one soon.

Walter. But, failing a felon, what shall you do?

Fer. I see only one course open—I must marry, and freeze my wife.

Walter. You would have sufficient confidence in the project, sir, to try the experiment on your wife?

Fer. Damme, sir, that's my difficulty. I should have to bring her round again to prove the success of the discovery; and I've a perfect horror of matrimony.

Mr. W. Upon my soul, you know, this strikes me as being exceedingly interesting, and I really think that some one ought, in the cause of humanity, to come forward and submit himself to the experiment.

Fer. My dear uncle, you charm me. You evidently mean to place yourself in the light of the felon of the family whom I hoped to find; and, considering that you are not a felon, I really take it very kindly. When shall I inject—

Mr. W. No, no, Ferdinand; don't misunderstand me. As a man, and as a father, I don't feel justified in suspending my animation even for a minute. No one knows what might happen during that minute; it might be necessary to realize an investment, or to indorse a check, or,—in fact, I couldn't forgive myself if anything went wrong while I was indulging in the mere gratification of a whim. But it has struck me that your aunt—

Fer. My aunt! We couldn't hit on a better subject. I should inject my fluid into the lobe of the right ear; I should light a cigar, and, by the time the cigar was finished, I should think of injecting the other fluid into the lobe of the left ear, and of resuscitating the patient.

Mr. W. (excitedly). Oh, you would light a cigar, would you?

Fer. Well, yes, I think so.

Mr. W. And naturally you would ask me to smoke with you?

Fer. Well, yes, naturally.

Mr. W. (earnestly). Ferdinand, do you like a glass of good wine with a cigar?

Fer. Well, naturally, yes.

Mr. W. Ferdinand, I feel that it is my duty to help you in this worthy enterprise. I have explained why I cannot myself become a subject for your experiments; but I do think that your aunt—

Fer. My dear uncle, do you think you could induce her—

Mr. W. For Heaven's sake, do not talk of inducement, or you will spoil all. I say advisedly all. It must be done by compulsion, or say rather, tact.

Fer. Certainly, uncle, say rather, tact. Only tell me how to show tact.

Mr. W. (hurriedly). Listen. Your aunt has lately, to do her justice, suffered from neuralgia. In common with the majority of her sex, she is willing to try any absurd remedy which is suggested to her. Tell her that a drop of your fluid injected into the lobe of the right ear will cure neuralgia, and she will take it like a lamb.

Fer. Best of uncles, this is glorious. How shall I thank you?

Mr. W. I only make one condition.

Fer. And that is?

Mr. W. Don't unsuspend her until the smell of our—I mean your cigar, has passed off.

Fer. I give you my word.

Mr. W. And remember, I am only induced to make this temporary sacrifice of my own happiness in the interests of science.

Fer. And of your nephew?

Mr. W. Ferdinand, I promised your mother that I would always do what I could to further your interests. Let us go and find my wife.

(Exeunt Ferdinand and Mr. Watmuff, door R.)

Walter. That seems to be a very enterprising and pushing young gentleman, and one likely to make his way in the world. But what a shocking old villain my future father-in-law turns out to be! He really seems to relish the idea of performing this awful experiment on his unfortunate wife. She may be a trying woman, but she doesn't deserve to run such a risk as this. Now what am I to do? Clearly I can't be an accomplice in a thing of this sort. Freezing my mother-in-law! And equally clearly I must put a stop to it; but the difficulty is, how am I to do it without offending old Mr. Watmuff, who is my only friend in the house? (Notices that Swift has left his bottle on table.) Ah! an idea strikes me; if I could only have a moment with Mrs. Watmuff I might tell her, and so ingratiate myself with her.

(Enter Mrs. Watmuff, door L.)

Mrs. W. Still here, sir? Was not my mandate sufficiently clear to you?

Walter. My dear Mrs. Watmuff, I am indeed lucky thus to meet you at this moment, and we may both be thankful that I did not leave the house when you told me.

Mrs. W. How, sir? I do not comprehend you. You speak in parables.

Walter. I speak in great haste, madam, and I beg of you to listen to me. Every moment is of vital importance, and I do not hesitate to say that your life may depend on hearing me.

Mrs. W. My life, sir? I do not dread death, young man. My parents dreaded it not. It came, and they accepted it; and so in due season shall I accept it.

Walter. But, Mrs. Watmuff, it may come to you in very undue season. To be brief with you, I have discovered that at this very moment, in this very house, a horrible plot is being concocted which may cost you your life.

Mrs. W. A plot! How say you? And who, then, are the conspirators?

Walter. You have a nephew named Ferdinand Swift—

Mrs. W. A hare-brained adventurer. He is in the other hemisphere.

Walter. He has returned, and is in this house. He has brought with him some wild American invention with which he proposes to make his fortune. Do you see this bottle?

Mrs. W. I observe a phial, sir.