next time I goes into a Publickouse, I'll go somewhere where I'll be respected!"

PROVERBS BY AN ILLUSTRIOUS FOREIGNER ON TOUR.

The time of special trains was made for slaves, not Asiatic Princes.

You may take an Eastern Magnate to a manufactory, but you can only with difficulty get him to lunch with the local Mayor.

There is many a slip between the Prince and the lift.

A view of machinery in motion in hand is worth two invitations to receptions in prospective.

Cocked-hats of a feather flock together.

You cannot make pleasure out of the address of a corporation.

All roads lead to turtle soup.

It is an ill wind that causes a swell on the Ship Canal.

People who live in mosques ought not to throw sticks at the Derby.

A programme kept to time is not worth nine.

The early mayor has to wait longest.

Give a Highness a wrong title and report him.

Enough at a factory is better than a feast in a Town Hall.

It is a long explanation that has no turning.

A jerk is as good as a nod to a bowing multitude.

When a person of the first importance enters by the door all settled arrangements disappear through the window.

The Representative of an Illustrious Race laughs at Traffic Managers.

The English Public enjoys a sensation, but the Indian Empire pays for it.

When the Prince is away, to fill up the time the band will play.

The son proposes but the father disposes.

The autocrat through the telegraph waits for no one.

Welcome the coming quiet and speed the exhausted guest.

An Opportunity not to be Missed.

Tired Reviewer (to Anxious Author). Ah! old fellow! I'm fagged out! Come and dine with me to-night? Sorry to give you such short notice.

Anxious Author. "Short notice!" Oh, please, never do that.

[Exeunt together.

"A SALE! A SALE!"

The Price Sale of pictures on Saturday last at Christie's will be ever memorable as "The Highest Price Sale." "'What's the demd total?' was the first question Mr. Mantilini asked." To which the present answer is £87,144. A nice little sum to go on with, or off with. One of the incidents was most dramatic. Gainsborough's "Lady Musgrave" was put up to be purchased. Then stood forward bold William Agnew with eight thousand guineas in his best gossamer. "The lady is mine!" he exclaimed, rapturously, and was advancing with arms outstretched to seize his prize, when suddenly his path was crossed by one Campbell "of that ilk," who cried aloud, "Here are ten thousand golden sovereigns plus ten thousand silver shillings, all glittering on a tray! Advance no further!" And bold William advanced no further. For once he was taken aback. "I didna ken the Campbell was coming!" muttered William A-bashed. And ere he could recover from his surprise, and while yet his frame was quivering with excitement, his picture, the Lady that should have been his, was gone. "They have given her to another!" he sang sadly, but the next moment he pulled himself together, and "taking heart of Grace" William made such running, off his own bat, as would have astonished even the eminent cricketer just mentioned. And the last of the "Reynolds' Miscellany" in this collection succumbed to William the Conqueror for 450 guineas. Sic transit gloria Saturday!

New Name.—The Imperial Institute henceforward to be known as "The Somers Vinery."

A FINE SUMMER DAY'S OUTING.

Highly recommended by "The Faculty" (who has tried it more than once). Given a perfectly calm sea, a delicious light breeze, and anything else "given" that you can get, including pleasant company, then, with tears in your patriotic eyes, and a tremolo in your voice, bid farewell (for a couple of hours or so) to old England, cross the Channel, invade France viâ Calais, where, however calm the sea has been, you must be prepared for a "buffet"; but this "buffet" is not at all rough, just the contrary, and if by chance you should have at all suffered from any unevenness in the wave line, you are sure, on arriving at Calais, of a "restauration" which will send you back in another hour and a half quite the giant refreshed. That same evening you can pose as a real traveller just returned from "the Continent," which will serve you excellently both as reason and apology for not having answered any letters, and neglected epistolary business generally during the last month. "Been away, my boy!" "Ah, that's why you didn't answer my letter. Where have you been?" "Oh! France, about Normandy. Delightful. Ta! Ta!" And perhaps the expenditure of the day's trip will have saved you from all sorts of trouble, pecuniary and otherwise, that you might have got into had you remained at home, answering letters. But, as to the benefit of the sea air—there can't be two opinions about that.

A Distinguished Commoner who cannot Vote for doing away with "Lord's."—Dr. Grace. Public school elevens and M. C. C. all against such a proposition.

BOLD J. H. TAYLOR.

[J. H. Taylor, an Englishman born and bred, has for the second time won the Open Championship (Golf) at the St. Andrews' Links.]