Larking.

SERMONS BY PARLIAMENTARY CHAPLAINS.

Perhaps there is nothing in ecclesiastical writings more ludicrously and rabidly solemn than the sermons preached before "The Honourable House of Commons" during the Protectorate, by that warlike race of saints who figure so extensively in the

history of those times. I possess some thirty of these, and extract from their pages the following morsels, which may be taken as a fair sample of the general strain:

From

"'Gemitus Columbæ,' the Mournful Note of the Dove; a Sermon preached," &c.: by John Langley, Min. of West Tuperley in the Countie of Southampton. 1644.

"The oxen were plowing, the asses were feeding beside them ('twas in the relation of one of Job's messengers). By the oxen wee are to vnderstand the laborious Clergie; by the asses, that were feeding beside them, wee may vnderstande the Laity" (!).—P. 8.

"The worde set on by the Spirit, as Scanderbags' sworde, by the arme of Scanderbags, will make a deepe impression."—P. 16.

Query, what is the allusion here?

"We came to the height, shall I saye, of our fever (or frenzie, rather), when wee began to catch Dotterills, when wee fell to cringing and complimenting in worship, stretching out a wing to their wing, a legge to their legge."—P. 18.

"Time was when the Dove-cote was searched, the Pistolls were cockt; the Bloudie-birdes were skirring about: then the Lord withdrew the birds."—P. 29.

"When your ginnes and snares catch any of the Bloudie-birdes, dally not with them, blood will have blood; contracte not their bloude-guiltinesse vpon your owne soules, by an vnwarranted clemencie and mildnesse."—P. 30.

"(Note.—The 'Bloudie-birdes,' i. e. the cavaliers.)"

From

"A Peace Offering to God: a Sermon preached," &c., by Stephen Marshall, B.D. 1641.

"Not like tavernes, and alehouses, howses of lewd and debauched persons, where Zim and Jim dwels, dolefull creatures, fitt only to be agents to Satan."—P. 50.

I conclude with a rather interesting scrap, which I do not remember to have met with elsewhere, from

"The Ruine of the Authors and Fomentors of Ciuill Warre; a Sermon," &c., by Samuel Gibson. 1645.

"There was a good motto written ouer the gates at Yorke, at King James the Firste his firste entraunce into that city:

'Suavis Victoriæ amor populi.'

i. e. the sweete victorie is the love of the people."—P. 27.

R. C. Warde.

Kidderminster.

A PERSPECTIVE VIEW OF TWELVE POSTAGE-STAMPS.

In the advertising sheet of "N. & Q." for December 18, 1852, its unartistic readers have the tempting offer placed before them of being taught "the art of drawing and copying portraits, views, steel or wood engravings, with perfect accuracy, ease, and quickness, in one lesson! And when the gentle reader of "N. & Q." has recovered from the shock of this startling announcement, he is further instructed that, "by sending a stamped directed envelope and twelve postage-stamps, the necessary articles will be forwarded with the instructions." Who would not, thinks the gentle reader, be a Raphael, a Rubens, or a Claude, when the metamorphosis may be effected for twelve postage-stamps? And then, delighted with the thought that no expensive residence in Italy, or laborious application through long years of study, will be required, but that the royal road to art may be traversed by paying the small toll of twelve postage-stamps, he forthwith gives them to "Mr. A. B. Cleveland, 13. Victoria Street, Brighton," and in due course of time Mr. A. B. C. forwards him "the necessary articles with the instructions," the former of which the gentle reader certainly finds to be "no expensive apparatus," but as simple as A, B, C. The articles consist of a small piece of black paper, and a small piece of common tissue paper, oiled in a manner very offensive to a susceptible nose. The instructions are printed, and are prefaced by a paragraph which truly declares them to be "most simple:"

"The outlines must be sketched by the following means, and may be filled up according to pleasure. In the first place, lay what you intend to copy straight before you; then lay over it the transparent paper, and you will see the outlines most distinctly; pencil them over lightly, taking care to keep the paper in the same position until you have finished the outlines; after which, place the paper or card you intend the copy to appear on under the black tracing-paper, with the black side on it, and on which place the outlines you have previously taken, remembering to keep them all straight, and then, by passing a piece of wire (or anything brought to a point not sufficient to scratch) correctly over the said outlines, you will have an exact impression of the original upon the card intended, which must then be filled up. I would recommend a portrait for the first attempt, which can be done in a few minutes, and you will soon see your success. Of course you can ink or paint the copy according to pleasure."

"Why, of course I can," probably exclaims the now un-gentle reader; "of course I can, when I have the ability to do it,—a consummation which I devoutly wish for, and which I am quite as far from as when I was weak-minded enough to send my twelve postage-stamps to Mr. A. B. C.; and yet that individual encloses me a card along with his nasty oiled paper and 'instructions,' which card he has the assurance to head 'scientific!' and says, 'the exquisite and beautiful art of drawing landscapes, &c. from nature, in true perspective, with perfect accuracy, ease, and quickness, taught to the most inexperienced person in ONE lesson.'

"I should like to know how I am to lay the landscape straight before me, and put my oiled paper on the top of it, and trace its outlines in true perspective? I should like also to know, since Mr. A. B. C. recommends a portrait for the first attempt, how I am to lay the transparent paper over my wife's face, without her nose making a hole in the middle of it? It is all very well for Mr. A. B. C. to say that he 'continues to receive very satisfactory testimonials respecting the RESULT of his instructions, which are remarkable for simplicity (I allow that), and invaluable for correctness' (I deny that). But, although he prints 'result' in capital letters, all the testimonial that I can give him will be to testify to the (on his part) satisfactory result attending his 'art of drawing' twelve postage-stamps out of my pocket."

Thus, can I imagine, would the gentle reader soliloquise, on finding he had received two worthless bits of paper in return for his investment of postage-stamps. My thoughts were somewhat the same; for I, alas! sent "twelve postage-stamps," which are now lost to view in the dim perspective, and I shall only be too happy to sell Mr. A. B. C. his instructions, &c. at half-price. In the mean time, however, I forward them for Mr. Editor's inspection.

Cuthbert Bede, B.A.

Minor Notes.

Cremona Violins.—As many of your readers are no doubt curious about the prices given, in former times, for musical instruments, I transcribe an order of the time of Charles II. for the purchase of two Cremona violins.

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