قراءة كتاب The Shadow of Life

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The Shadow of Life

The Shadow of Life

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
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upon her. A boy, a big boy, he was playing dolls with a girl; it was monstrous; as monstrous as the general’s eyes showed that he found it. Stooping in his tall slightness, as he assisted Agnes’s steps across the floor, he seemed, suddenly, a fairy prince decoyed and flouted. What would Uncle Nigel think of him? She could almost have flung herself before him protectingly.

The general had burst into laughter. “Now, upon my word, this is too bad of you, Eppie!” he cried, while Gavan, not abandoning his hold on Agnes’s arm, turned his eyes upon the intruder with perfect serenity. “You are the most unconscionable little tyrant. You kept the Grainger boys under your thumb; but I didn’t think you could carry wheedling or bullying as far as this. Gavan, my dear boy, you are too patient with her.”

Eppie stood at the table, scarlet with anger and compunction. Gavan had raised himself, and, still holding Agnes, looked from one to the other.

“But she hasn’t bullied me; she hasn’t wheedled me,” he said. “I like it.”

“At your age, my dear boy! Like doll-babies!”

“Indeed I do.”

“This is the finest bit of chivalry I’ve come across for a long time. The gentleman who jumped into the lions’ den for his mistress’s glove was hardly pluckier. Drop that ridiculous thing and come away. I’ll rescue you.”

“But I don’t want to be rescued. I really am enjoying myself. It’s not a case of courage at all,” Gavan protested.

This was too much. He should not tarnish himself to shield her, and Eppie burst out: “Nonsense, Gavan. I asked you to. You are only doing it because you are so kind, and to please me. It was very wrong of me. Put her down as Uncle Nigel says.”

“There, our little tyrant is honest, at all events. Drop it, Gavan. You should see the figure you cut with that popinjay in your arms. Come, you’ve won your spurs. Come away with me.”

But Gavan, smiling, shook his head. “No, I don’t want to, thanks. I did it to please her, if you like; but now I do it to please myself. Playing with dolls is a most amusing game,—and you are interrupting us at a most interesting point,” he added. He seemed, funnily, doll and all, older than the general as he said it. Incredulous but mystified, Uncle Nigel was forced to beat a retreat, and Gavan was left confronting his playmate.

“Why did you tell him that you enjoyed it?” she cried. “He’ll think you unmanly.”

“My dear Eppie, he won’t think me unmanly at all. Besides, I don’t care if he does.”

I care.”

“But, Eppie, you take it too hard. Why should you care? It’s only funny. Why shouldn’t we amuse ourselves as we like? We are only children.

“You are much more than a child. Uncle Nigel thinks so, too, I am sure.”

“All the more reason, then, for my having a right to amuse myself as I please. And I am a child, for I do amuse myself.”

Eppie stood staring out rigidly at the blighted prospect, and he took her unyielding hand. “Poor Elspeth is lying on her face. Do let us go on. I want you to hear what Agnes has to say next.”

She turned to him now. “I don’t believe a word you say. You only did it for me. You are only doing it for me now.”

“Well, what if I did? What if I do? Can’t I enjoy doing things for you? And really, really, Eppie, I do think it fun. I assure you I do.”

“I think you are a hero,” Eppie said solemnly, and at this absurdity he burst into his high, shrill laugh, and renewed his supplications; but supplications were in vain. She refused to let him play with her again. He might do things for the dolls,—yes, she reluctantly consented to that at last,—he might take the part of robber or of dangerous wild beast in the woods, but into domestic relations, as it were, he should not enter with them; and from this determination Gavan could not move her.

As far as his dignity in the eyes of others went, he might have gone on playing dolls with her all summer; Eppie realized, with surprise and relief, that Gavan’s assurance had been well founded. Uncle Nigel, evidently, did not think him unmanly, and there was no chaffing. It really was as he had said, he was so little a child that he could do as he chose. His dignity needed no defense.

But though the doll episode was not to be repeated, other and more equal ties knit her friendship with Gavan. Wide vistas of talk opened from their lessons, from their readings together. As they rambled through the heather they would talk of the Odyssey, of Plutarch’s Lives, of nearer great people and events in history. Gavan listened with smiling interest while Eppie expressed her hatreds and her loves, correcting her vehemence, now and then, by a reference to mitigatory circumstance. Penelope was one of the people she hated. “See, Gavan, how she neglected her husband’s dog while he was away—let him starve to death on a dunghill.”

Gavan surmised that the Homeric Greeks had little sense of responsibility about dogs.

“They were horrid, then,” said Eppie. “Dear Argos! Think of him trying to wag his tail when he was dying and saw Ulysses; he was horrid, too, for he surely might have just stopped for a moment and patted his head. I’m glad that Robbie didn’t live in those times. You wouldn’t let Robbie die on a dunghill if I were to go away!”

“No, indeed, Eppie!” Gavan smiled.

“I think you really love Robbie as much as I do, Gavan. You love him more than Uncle Nigel does. One can always see in people’s eyes how much they love a dog. That fat, red Miss Erskine simply feels nothing for them, though she always says ‘Come, come,’ to Robbie. But her eyes are like stones when she looks at him. She is really thinking about her tea, and watching to see that Aunt Rachel puts in plenty of cream. I suppose that Penelope looked like her, when she used to see Argos on the dunghill.”

Robbie was plunging through the heather before them and paused to look round at them, his delicate tongue lapping in little pants over his teeth.

“Darling Robbie,” said Gavan. “Our eyes aren’t like stones when we look at you! See him smile, Eppie, when I speak to him. Wouldn’t it be funny if we smiled with our ears instead of with our mouths.”

Gavan, after a moment, sighed involuntarily and deeply.

“What is the matter?” Eppie asked quickly, for she had grown near enough to ask it. And how near they were was shown after a little silence, by Gavan saying: “I was only wishing that everything could be happy at once, Eppie. I was thinking about my mother and wishing that she might be here with you and me and Robbie.” His voice was steadied to its cold quiet as he said it, though he knew how safe from any hurt he was with her. And she said nothing, and did not look at him, only, in silence, putting a hand of comradeship on his shoulder while they walked.

IV

ONCE a week, on the days of the Indian mail, Eppie’s understanding hovered helplessly about Gavan, seeing pain for him and powerless to shield him from it. Prayers took place in the dining-room ten minutes before breakfast, and with the breakfast the mail was brought in, so that Gavan’s promptest descent could not secure him a solitary reading of the letter that, Eppie felt, he awaited with trembling eagerness.

“A letter from India, Gavan dear,” Miss Rachel, the distributer of the mail would say. “Tell us your news.” And before them all, in the midst of the general’s comments on politics, crops, and weather, the rustling of newspapers, the pouring of tea, he was forced to open and read his letter and to answer, even during the reading, the

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