CHAPTER VI   DINNER   Origin—Early dinners—The noble Romans—“Vitellius the Glutton”—Origin of haggis—The Saxons—Highland hospitality—The French invasion—Waterloo avenged—The bad fairy “Ala”—Comparisons—The English cook or the foreign food torturer?—Plain or flowery—Fresh fish and the flavour wrapped up—George Augustus Sala—Doctor Johnson again  59-72     CHAPTER VII   DINNER (continued)   Imitation—Dear Lady Thistlebrain—Try it on the dog—Criminality of the English caterer—The stove, the stink, the steamer—Roasting v. baking—False economy—Dirty ovens—Frills and fingers—Time over dinner—A long-winded Bishop—Corned beef 73-81     CHAPTER VIII   DINNER (continued)   A merry Christmas—Bin F—A Noel banquet—Water-cress—How Royalty fares—The Tsar—Bouillabaisse—Tournedos—Bisque— Vol-au-vent—Pré salé—Chinese banquets—A fixed bayonet—Bernardin Salmi—The duck-squeezer—American cookery—“Borston” beans—He couldn’t eat beef 82-96     CHAPTER IX   DINNER (continued)   French soup—A regimental dinner—A city banquet—Baksheesh— Aboard ship—An ideal dinner—Cod’s liver—Sleeping in the kitchen—A fricandeau—Regimental messes—Peter the Great—Napoleon the Great—Victoria—The Iron Duke— Mushrooms—A medical opinion—A North Pole banquet—Dogs as food—Plain unvarnished fare—The Kent Road cookery—More beans than bacon 97-110     CHAPTER X   VEGETABLES   Use and abuse of the potato—Its eccentricities—Its origin—Hawkins, not Raleigh, introduced it into England—With or without the “jacket”?—Don’t let it be à-la-ed—Benevolence and large-heartedness of the cabbage family—Pease on earth—Pythagoras on the bean—“Giving him beans”—“Haricot” a misnomer—“Borston” beans—Frijoles—The carrot—Crécy soup—The Prince of Wales—The Black Prince and the King of Bohemia 111-122     CHAPTER XI   VEGETABLES (continued)   The brief lives of the best—A vegetable with a pedigree— Argenteuil—The Elysian Fields—The tomato the emblem of love—“Neeps”—Spinach—“Stomach-brush”—The savoury tear-provoker—Invaluable for wasp-stings—Celery merely cultivated “smallage”—The “Apium”—The parsnip—O Jerusalem!—The golden sunflower—How to get pheasants—A vegetarian banquet—“Swelling wisibly” 123-133     CHAPTER XII   CURRIES   Different modes of manufacture—The “native” fraud—“That man’s family”—The French kari—A Parsee curry—“The oyster in the sauce”—Ingredients—Malay curry—Locusts—When to serve—What to curry—Prawn curry—Dry curry, champion recipe—Rice—The Bombay duck 134-146     CHAPTER XIII   SALADS   Nebuchadnezzar v. Sydney Smith—Salt?—No salad-bowl—French origin—Apocryphal story of Francatelli—Salads and salads—Water-cress and dirty water—Salad-maker born not made—Lobster salad—Lettuce, Wipe or wash?— Mayonnaise—Potato salad—Tomato ditto—Celery ditto—A memorable ditto 147-157     CHAPTER XIV   SALADS AND CONDIMENTS   Roman salad—Italian ditto—Various other salads—Sauce for cold mutton—Chutnine—Raw chutnee—Horse-radish sauce— Christopher North’s sauce—How to serve a mackerel—Sauce Tartare—Ditto for sucking pig—Delights of making Sambal—A new language 158-169