Bashfulness Cured

BASHFULNESS CURED:

Ease and Elegance of Manner

QUICKLY GAINED.

NEW YORK:
SETH CONLY, PUBLISHER,
No. 524 Sixth Avenue. 1872.

Entered according to Act of Congress, in the year 1872, by
SETH CONLY.
In the Office of the Librarian of Congress, Washington, D. C.

Contents.

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Bashfulness—Diffidence.

Definition.

We do not see why Sidney should have termed diffidence “rustic shame.” Very many nice and proper persons who live in rural parts, and who are exceedingly bashful, are far from being shame-faced. “Excessive or extreme modesty,” Webster defines bashfulness, and this is the better definition, though not literally correct, as many who are rough, impudent and vulgar in the privacy of their own homes, are wretchedly bashful when in company of strangers, or those whom they consider their superiors.

No emotion is more painful than bashfulness. Without feeling guilty, its subject feels crushed. Says one, “I am troubled with a painful sense of timidity and bashfulness in the presence of company on being spoken to, especially at the table; and no matter whether the person be my equal or my inferior, I blush from the cravat to the hair, and the very consciousness that I am blushing, and that my embarrassment is discovered, tends to deepen the blush and heighten the embarrassment. Now, I have a good personal appearance; I have a good education; I occupy a good position in society; I have been trusted by my friends with official position, and feel myself competent to fill it, and when I sit down to meditate I feel no cause for embarrassment or bashfulness; I can converse for hours with persons of culture and superior ability, and feel no cause of shame at the part I am enabled to act; still, if then spoken to suddenly or abruptly, this terrible diffidence comes upon me like a spell, and makes me stammer; my head seems splitting with excitement; my face turns red; my heart palpitates, and I am no longer, for the moment, myself. Now all this is very distressing.” Yes, this is distressing, as very many can testify from disagreeable experience.

There are many influences that may directly and indirectly be mentioned as being the

Causes of Bashfulness.

Among them is a certain peculiarity of constitution known as “natural diffidence;” then, bashfulness from ignorance of the ways of society; lack of education; ill-dress; ill-health; nervousness.

Natural Diffidence.

Many persons are constitutionally timid and diffident. They were bashful in childhood, bashful at school, bashful in society, always bashful. In business they are not generally your pushing, go-ahead operators. They shrink from contact with the bustling crowds. They prefer, and will usually be found doing quiet brain work in dim back offices.

Bashful young ladies, to the rightly constituted masculine mind, are rather attractive than otherwise. The timid, retiring manner; the modest, downcast look; the soft blushes—all are particularly engaging, especially to those who have been long in society, and accustomed to the cool self-possession and calm assurance of fashionable ladies.

The genuine diffident girl is not the product of cities. She is not found in the crash of town life, but in the seclusion of quiet country towns.

There is no class of girls in the world so easy to get along with after they get acquainted with you, as bashful ones. And the courting them is an easy and delightful affair; they are so loving and confiding; no reserve, no distrust, no coquetting; but frank, open-hearted and generous. Even if you are unsuccessful in your suit they never mortify you in their refusal. It is generally given in so frank and candid a manner as to command your admiration.

Natural Diffidence is the result, as already stated, of certain peculiarities of constitution. There is a want of confidence in one’s self—a shrinking dread of intercourse with strangers, especially those of the opposite sex, and he, or she, can give no reason for this diffident feeling. He may be well educated; of attractive personal appearance, of good conversational abilities, and well dressed, yet from