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قراءة كتاب The Cynic's Word Book
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bad company.
By spark and flame, the thought reveal
That he the metal, she the stone,
Had cherished secretly alone.
Booley Fito.
ALTAR, n. The place whereon the priest formerly ravelled out the small intestine of the sacrificial victim for purposes of divination and cooked its flesh for the gods. The word is now seldom used, except with reference to the sacrifice of their liberty and peace by a male and a female fool.
The fire themselves in which their fat was fried.
In vain the sacrifice!—no god will claim
An offering burnt with an unholy flame.
M. P. Nopput.
AMBIDEXTROUS, adj. Able to pick with equal skill a right-hand pocket or a left.
AMBITION, n. An overmastering desire to be villified by enemies while living and made ridiculous by friends when dead.
AMNESTY, n. The State's magnanimity to those offenders whom it would be too expensive to punish.
ANOINT, v.t. To grease. To consecrate a king or other great functionary already sufficiently slippery.
So pigs to lead the populace are greased good.
Judibras.
ANTIPATHY, n. The sentiment inspired by one's friend's friend.
APHORISM, n. A brief statement, bald in style and flat in sense.
That, spilling once and filled again,
Voids from its impotent abysm
The driblet of an aphorism.
"The Mad Philosopher" 1697
APOLOGIZE, v. i. To lay the foundation for a future offence.
APOSTATE, n. A leech who, having penetrated the shell of a turtle only to find the creature has long been dead, deems it expedient to form a new attachment to a fresh turtle.
APOTHECARY, n. The physician's accomplice, undertaker's benefactor and grave worm's provider.
And Mercury conveyed them in a jar,
That friend of tricksters introduced by stealth
Disease for the apothecary's health,
Whose gratitude impelled him to proclaim:
"My deadliest drug shall bear my patron's name!"
G.F.
APPEAL, v. t. In law, to put the dice into the box for another throw.
APPETITE, n. An instinct thoughtfully implanted by Providence as a solution to the labor question.
APPLAUSE, n. The echo of a platitude.
APRIL FOOL, n. The March fool with another month added to his folly.
ARBITRATION, n. A modern device for promoting strife by substituting for an original dispute a score of inevitable disagreements as to the manner of submitting it for settlement.
ARCHBISHOP, n. An ecclesiastical dignitary one point holier than a bishop.
On Fridays I 'd eat all the fish up—
Salmon and flounders and smelts;
On other days everything else.
Jodo Rem.
ARCHITECT, n. One who drafts a plan of your house, and plans a draft of your money; who estimates the whole cost, and himself costs the whole estimate.
ARDOR, n. The quality that distinguishes love without knowledge.
ARENA, n. In politics, an imaginary rat-pit, in which the statesman wrestles with his record.
ARISTOCRACY, n. Government by the best men. (In this sense the word is obsolete; so is that kind of government.) Fellows that wear downy hats and clean shirts—guilty of education and suspected of bank