قراءة كتاب The Cynic's Word Book

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The Cynic's Word Book

The Cynic's Word Book

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
الصفحة رقم: 7

however, has been shown by Lactantius to be an error.

     Facilis descensus Avertit,
     The poet remarks; and the sense
     Of it is that when down hill I turn I
     Will get more of punches than pence.

     Jehal Dai Lupe.

AVERSION, n. The feeling that one has for the plate after he has eaten its contents, madam.








B

BAAL, n. A deity formerly much worshipped under various names. As Baal he was popular with the Phoenicians; as Belus or Bel he had the honor to be served by the priest Berosus, who wrote the famous account of the Deluge; as Babel he had a tower partly erected to his glory on the Plain of Shinar. From Babel comes our English word "babble." Under whatever name worshipped, Baal is the Sun-god. As Beelzebub he is the god of flies, which are begotten of the sun's rays on stagnant water. In Physicia Baal is still worshipped as Bolus, and as Belly he is adored and served with abundant sacrifice by the priests of Guttle and Swig.

BABB, or BABY, n. A misshapen creature of no particular age, sex, or condition, chiefly remarkable for the violence of the sympathies and antipathies it excites in others, itself without sentiment or emotion. There have been famous babes; for example, little Moses, from whose adventure in the bulrushes the Egyptian hierophants of seven centuries before doubtless derived their idle tale of the child Osiris being preserved on a floating lotus leaf.

     Ere babes were invented
     The girls were contented.
     Now man is tormented
     Until to buy babes he has squandered
     His money. And so I have pondered
     This thing, and thought may be
     'T were better that Baby
     The First had been eagled or condored.

     Ro Amil.

BACCHUS, w. A convenient deity invented by the ancients as an excuse for getting drunk.

     Is public worship, then, a sin,
     That for devotions paid to Bacchus
     The lictors dare to run us in,
     And resolutely thump and whack us?

     Horace.

BACK, n. That part of your friend which it is your privilege to contemplate in your adversity.

BACKBITE, v. t. To "speak of a man as you find him" when he can't find you.

BAIT, n. A preparation that renders the hook more palatable. The best kind is beauty.

BAPTISM, n. A sacred rite of such efficacy that he who finds himself in heaven without having undergone it will be unhappy forever. It is performed with water in two ways— by immersion, or plunging, and by aspersion, or sprinkling.

     But whether the plan of immersion
     Is better than simple aspersion
     Let those immersed
     And those aspersed
     Decide by the Authorized Version,
     And by matching their agues tertian.

     G. F.

BAROMETER, n. An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

BARRACK, n. A house in which soldiers enjoy a portion of that of which it is their business to deprive others.

BASILISK, n. The cockatrice. A sort of serpent hatched from the egg of a cock. The basilisk had a bad eye, and its glance was fatal. Many infidels deny this creature's existence, but Semprello Aurator saw and handled one that had been blinded by lightning as a punishment for having fatally gazed on a lady of rank whom Jupiter loved. Juno afterward restored the reptile's sight and hid it in a cave. Nothing is so well attested by the ancients as the existence of the basilisk, but the cocks have stopped laying eggs.

BASTINADO, n. The act of walking on wood without exertion.

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