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قراءة كتاب The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome With an Account of his Campaign on the Peninsula and in Pall Mall
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اللغة: English
The Military Adventures of Johnny Newcome With an Account of his Campaign on the Peninsula and in Pall Mall
الصفحة رقم: 4
was softened down,
He tremulously ask’d for Captain Brown;
Announc’d himself once more, and begg’d to know
What were his Orders? where was he to go?
The Commandant observing John was heated,
Mildly requested that ‘he would be seated.’
John’s spirits had been sinking in the wane,
But thus encouraged soon revived again.
‘Why really, Sir, this service in the Line,
‘At home we reckon to be monstrous fine;
‘But since I was Gazetted, I’ll declare
‘A single moment I’ve not had to spare.’
The Captain smil’d to see poor John so sore,
And kindly said, ‘You’ll dine with me at four:
‘In the mean time, as things to you are new,
‘The Adjutant will tell you what to do.
‘Here, Orderly! step to the barrack-yard,
‘And say I wish to speak with Mr. Ward.
‘But cool yourself, and then your Billet seek;
‘I mean to keep you here at least a Week.’
John’s heart was soft—thus taken by surprize,
He felt a sort of twinkling in his eyes;
He falter’d, stammer’d, felt himself distrest,
In vain his gratitude would have exprest;
When busy, bustling Ward attends his chief,
Broke up the conference, to John’s relief.
Ward introduced, did Johnny kindly greet
(His was a heart we do not often meet);
Now arm in arm, they travell’d down the Stairs,
John found his spirits, and forgot his cares.
Tho’ truly kind was Ward, yet be it known
He was himself a Sub in the King’s Own.
A Billet7 got, the Serjeant mark’d the Door,
They took a Boat, and brought the Trunks on Shore.
‘So now,’ says Ward, ‘I always work by rule,
‘The first thing you must purchase is a Mule;
‘And if you’re flush of cash, why then, of course,
‘The next thing you must purchase is a Horse.’
‘A Servant have you got?’ John answered, ‘No.’
‘Well, well,’ says Ward, ‘there’s one I think I know;
‘An honest fellow, who ’twixt you and me,
‘Is just the sort of Man, you will agree.
‘A D——n’d good Fellow, but I rather think,
‘He now, and then, will take a drop of drink;
‘But otherwise, good-humour’d, sharp, and civil,
‘John Bull will drink, but fight like any Devil;—
‘Paddy, and Sawney Scot are just the same—
‘Here, Serjeant, tell me what’s the Fellow’s name?
‘’Tis Teague O’Connor, him I recommend,
‘He’ll suit you famously, my worthy Friend.’
So Teague was then install’d Valet, and Groom,
And sent to set to rights his Master’s Room.
As dinner-time approach’d, Ward bid him stay,
He’d home to dress, and take him on his way;
And John, rigg’d out in his Best Coat and Feather,
Waited for Ward, and off they went together.
The Commandant, with every wish to please,
Scouted those chilling forms that banish’d ease;
Tho’ plac’d in Power, Dignity, and Trust,
Was kind to all, and to the Service Just.
The dinner o’er, the festive glass did flow,
John found himself a little queer or so;
Felt too, a sort of swimming in his head,
So stole away, resolved to go to bed.
When oft to write a Book we undertake,
If from the subject we a circuit make,
Some apt allusions may our minds engage,
Perchance for profit, to swell out our Page;
The little I may venture to intrude,
I introduce, by way of Interlude.
Your mercy then, good Critics, I entreat,
Mine is a sort of stuffing to my Meat;
Something of Foreign matter I must tell,
Or this my tale will not go down so well.
In every Country there are customs known,
Which they preserve exclusively their own.8
The Portuguese, by some odd whims infected,
Have Cloacina’s temple quite rejected;
How they arrange their Worship, we shall know,
By the disaster that befel our Beau.
Our Hero gaily sporting out a Song,
And cutting angles as he glid along,
Some Damsel, heedlessly, from upper floor,
Pandora’s incense on his head did pour.
Drench’d, buffeted, he had no time to think,
Saluted by a compound of such Stink;
Smother’d all over by the filthy souse,
He reach’d his heart up, ere he reach’d his House.
Teague, by his Master’s nasty figure struck,
Dryly, ‘He wished him joy of his good luck’;
Then seiz’d a Tub, and with assiduous care,
With water wash’d the ordure from his hair.
‘Here, prythee, ease me of my Hat and Coat;
‘O C——t! the filthy stuff’s gone down my throat.
‘O curse them, and their beastly, D——n’d emulsions;
‘O Lord! my wretched guts are in convulsions!
‘Give me a Dram. ’Od rot the nasty Vixen,
‘She’s ruined my best Coat, with her d——n’d Mixen.’
Now scour’d, and sweeten’d, Johnny whining said,
‘O Teague, I’m horrid sick, shew me to Bed.’
Teague spread the folded Blanket in a crack,
And for a Pillow, placed his own Knapsack.
Astonished John his Servant’s conduct viewing,
In trem’lous accents ask’d what he was doing?
‘O, no great matter, Sir,’ replies O’Connor,
‘I’m making up your Bed, an’ plase your