tired of being scholar, I am.

GRANDMA. (after reading telegram) You are tired of being a scholar, are you, PAULINE?

PAULINE. Yes'm. I'm sick of it. I've learned this scrubbin' lesson from the cellar up.

GRANDMA. So you have, dear, so you have! You do it very well. And I am going to reward you.

PAULINE. (happily) Reward me, mam?

GRANDMA. Yes. I have just received word my newly engaged Professor of Rudimentary Household Science cannot come. How would you like to be a professor, Pauline?

PAULINE. Oh, me a professor, mam! Me, who has nothing but rags to my name, a professor?

GRANDMA. Yes, Pauline. I have made up my mind. I am going to make you my Professor of Rudiments. Young ladies, this is our new Professor of Rudiments, (all curtsey)

PAULINE, (wiping her eyes) I feel like I ought to make a speech, mam, but I can't, I'm that overcome. I don't feel like I could do justice to the job, mam.

GRANDMA. Oh, yes you can, my dear. Now, your duties as Professor of Rudiments will consist in teaching the young ladies scrubbing—

PAULINE. Scrubbin'?

GRANDMA. Yes, scrubbing, and mopping, and blacking stoves.

PAULINE. Scrubbin' an' moppin' an' blackin' stoves?

GRANDMA. Just so. And you will teach by example. The young ladies will study your methods. You will scrub and mop and black stoves, and they will watch you.

PAULINE. I'll scrub and mop and—It's mighty like the job of bein' scholar, ain't it, mam? What pay do I get, mam, for all this scrub and mop?

GRANDMA. Pay? I am surprised you should ask for pay when I have given you such a position of trust and honor. But there. If you must have pay, you shall have it. I will give you the work you owe me for the tuition you have received.

PAULINE, (puzzled) Yes'm. Thank you, mam. Now, now, do you do that work I owe you, or do I do it?

GRANDMA. What a question! You do it, of course. You owe it to me, child, don't you? (PAULINE stands puzzled) Now, young ladies, I will leave you to your two new Professors, (exit GRANDMA)

(PAULINE, when she is gone, stands puzzled. Turning her head she sees dummy. She grasps it, raises it above her head, ana throws it down angrily)

PAULINE. Get to work, you husband, get to work! ( goes to tea table and eats and drinks during the following scene)

SUSAN. Fellow females! (the girls ignore her. They chatter loudly with one another. Finally KATE's voice is heard)

KATE. Well, I'll never speak to John again as long as I live.

GRACE. Well, he can't be a bit worse than Arthur. Oh, I'm so mad at Arthur. I was so mad I could have slapped him.

EDITH. What did he do, Grace?

GRACE. I met him on Main Street, quite by chance, you know, and he said, "Hello, GRACE, you don't want an ice cream soda, do you?" And I said, "Oh, I don't care." And he said, "Oh, well, if you don't care!"

IDA. The horrid thing. I think boys are just too horrid for anything. I oo-ooed at George to-day, and he didn't OO-OO back at me at all. I'm through with George!

EDITH. Imagine! When I Oo-oo at a boy and he doesn't OO-OO back I consider it a deadly insult. I suppose he was talking to some other girl.

IDA. No, he wasn't! He was riding his motor cycle, and he was only two blocks away—

EDITH. Perhaps he didn't hear you.

IDA. That's no excuse at all. When a girl oo-oos it is a boy's duty to hear. I always hear when George oo-oos.

MAY. Certainly! Any gentleman would OO-OO back at a girl if she oo-ooed at him.

KATE. I suppose you mean Henry would OO-OO back at you. You and Henry!

MAY. Thank you, but I don't speak to Henry any more. I've sent him about his business! I was going over to the tennis court yesterday, and I oo-ooed at him, and he said, "Where are you going, MAY?" and I said, "I'm going to play tennis, if I can find a partner." And what do you think he said?

GRACE. What did he