قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 20, 1895
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, April 20, 1895
class="sc">'Arcourt and Harthur sing while being jolted).
"LA-A-ZI-LY LA-A-ZI-LY! DROW-OW-OW-SILY! DROW-OW-OW-SILY!" &c.
MR. PUNCH AT A PICTURE SHOW.
(The Collection of Sir John Tenniel's Drawings at the Fine Art Society's Gallery.)
Air.—"My Old Friend John."
'Tis forty years, my dear Sir John,
Since you and I first met.
Lord, how the fleeting hours have flown!
But we foregather yet,
I gaze on this brave show with pride—
Fine art, still in full feather!
By Jove, it seems but yesterday
Since we were "boys" together.
Since we were boys, merry, merry boys,
At our old Board together!
There's gladness in remembrance, John;
Your pencil-strokes struck true;
Through all the shifts of party life,
No pause that pencil knew.
We've missed old comrades one by one;
Our friendship moults no feather;
Can forty years and more have run
Since we were "boys" together?
Since we were boys, merry, merry boys,
At our old Board together!
I gaze and proudly ponder, John;
I've seen them all before—
Gladstone, Bright, Dizzy, Bull!—Well done!!!
Fresh as in days of yore
The Big Cuts gleam. By sea and stream,
Moor, mountain, ice-field, heather.
Force, grace, fair fun mark all you've done,
Since we were "boys" together.
Chorus all "Round the Mahogany Tree."
Since we were boys, merry, merry boys!
So meet we, in full feather,
For many sunny years, Sir John,
Still boys—at heart—together!
FANCY PORTRAIT.
SIR G-RGE L-W-S.
"Bold of your worthiness, we single you
As our best-moving fair solicitor."
Love's Labour's Lost, Act II., Sc. 1.
THE LAY OF THE LITTLE MINORITY.
Air—"Little Buttercup."
I'm bumptious Minority—cocky Minority
(Though I can hardly tell why),
My work is to worry poor weary Majority,
Giving him one in the eye.
On Board or on Council I swagger and bounce 'll,
And badger 'em out of their lives.
I claim all the graces, and all the best places;
Thus cocky Minority thrives!
Majorities little of claim have no tittle
To getting their own wicked way;
But cocky Minority has such authority,
His should be absolute sway.
If things are at evens at—well, say St. Stephen's,
Spring Gardens, wherever you like,
Tis a mere deadlock (like New Woman wedlock),
And against Progress we strike.
If a Majority (small) claims authority
To make the tiniest move,
Then to prevent it, obstruct, circumvent it,
Must be my labour of love.
But a Minority's superiority
Is just as clear as the day.
Majorities (small) have one duty, that's all,
'Tis—to let the Minority sway!
Then yield to Minority—cocky Minority,
On Boards or of Council or School!
Hooray for Minority—bumptious Minority!
Come—let Minority rule!
OUR NEXT LITTLE BATTLE.
(From our Prophetic Reporter, a trifle in advance.)
Nowhar, April 1.—Wett River crossed yesterday in most brilliant style. Dashaway Regiment carried landing at point of bayonet, the Muffs keeping up well-directed fire during the entire operation. However, they seemed to feel effect of our artillery and Maxims.
When landing effected, Sapping Miners constructed iron bridge (with glass covering to protect the troops from the rain) within five-and-twenty minutes. During the construction Muffs fired continuously at working parties. Flag-staffs riddled with shot, consequently colours could not be run up. A round from couple of quick-firing guns cleared heights of human obstructions.
On completion of bridge, two troops of 147th Irregular Prancers charged enemy with much dash. As gallant horsemen approached Muffs (numbering about twenty thousand) concentrated their fire. For few minutes Irregulars had to pass through perfect fog of bullets. This ordeal did not damp their courage; soon came to close quarters with foe. In a moment Muffs were in confusion, flying, before pursuing sabres. Irregulars followed retreating enemy for many miles with complete success.
While these operations being carried out 17th Battalion of Cutandthrust Regiment made assault on fortress protecting right flank of Muffs. Enemy opposed charge with well-sustained artillery fire, which had it been more judiciously directed might have caused considerable annoyance. As it was, many Cutandthrusts lowered their heads to allow of undisturbed passage of shrapnell. On reaching walls redcoats hopped over like birds. Garrison stubbornly defended position. Cutandthrusts extended, advancing in their new formation. With wild cheer they again charged. Although this advance caused Muffs to fall back, they still retained their ground. At this moment machine-guns of battalion were brought into play with best results. A couple of rounds immediately broke up enemy's columns and put them to flight. Muffs were then routed by 53rd Regiment of Indian Tiger Eaters.
By midday position secured. At invitation of bugles exploring party "ceased firing," and prepared for mess.
Later.—I have just received a return of killed and wounded on both sides, which I here give:—Muffs.—Killed, about 20,000; wounded, twice as many more. British.—Killed, none; wounded, No. 35,604,821 Private Smith (Cutandthrust Regiment), slight scratch on fourth finger of left hand.
New Name for It (by Brother Bung).—Local Hop-shun!
