قراءة كتاب Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 18th, 1895
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Punch, or the London Charivari, Vol. 108, May 18th, 1895
class="sc">Harry, old Mother Church's glory
Meet this Conventicler?—Enough!
The Butcher dimmed not England's story
But rather brightened her renown.
In camp and court it must be said,
And if he did not win a crown,
At least he never lost his head!
Among Mr. Le Gallienne's new poems there is one entitled Tree Worship. It is not dedicated to the lessee of the Haymarket Theatre by "an Admirer."
A MAY MEETING.
They met in a cake-shop hard by the Strand,
He in black broadcloth, and she in silk.
She had a glass of "fizz" in her hand,
He had a bun and a cup of milk.
She had a sunshade of burnished crimson,
He had a brolly imperfectly furled,
And a pair of pince-nez with tortoiseshell rims on.
He looked the Church, and she seemed the World.
They sat on each side of a marble table,
His legs were curled round the legs of his chair.
Around them babbled a miniature Babel;
The sunlight gleamed on her coppery hair.
She held a crumpled Academy Guide,
Scored with crosses in bold blacklead;
A pile of leaflets lay at his side,
And he grasped a Report, which he gravely read.
His shaven lip was pendulous, long,
Her mouth was a cherry-hued moue mutine,
His complacent, uncomely, strong,
Hers soft appetence sharpened with spleen.
Her eyes scale-glitter, his oyster-dim,
His huge mouth hardened, her small lips curled
As he gazed at her and she glanced at him;
He looked the Church, and she seemed the World.
"A holy spouter from Exeter Hall!"
(So she mused as she sipped her wine.)
"A butterfly in the Belial thrall
Of Vanity Fair, all tinkle and shine!"
So thought he as he crumbled his bun
With clumsy fingers in loose black cloth;
And the impish spirit of genial fun
Hovered about them and mocked them both.
Mutual ignorance, mutual scorn,
Revealed in glances aflame though fleeting;
Such, in the glow of this glad May morn,
The inhuman spirit of mortal meeting.
The worm must disparage the butterfly,
The butterfly must despise the worm;
And Scorn, the purblind, will ne'er descry
A common bond, or a middle term.
Modish folly, factitious Art?
True, grave homilist, sadly true!
But Boanerges truculent, tart,
What of the part that is played by you?
You denouncing the "Snare of Beauty,"
She affecting to feel its spell,—
Which falls shortest of human duty?
Shallow censor, can you quite tell?
Meanwhile the lilac is blithely budding,
And sweetly breatheth the nutty May,
The golden sunshine the earth is flooding,
And you—you echo the old, old bray
Of Boanerges. A broader greeting
Of brotherhood full, warm hearts, wide eyes
Might lend a meaning to your "May Meeting"
To gladden the gentle and win the wise.
"What's in a Name? A Rossa, &c."—Before being ejected from the House of Commons on Wednesday last, O'Donovan Rossa shouted out that "A stain had been put upon his name." Where is the ingenious craftsman who did it? He might try his hand next time at gilding refined gold.
Query.—Can a champagne wine from the vintage of "Ay" be invariably and fairly described as "Ay 1"?
MODES AND METALS.
["Neckties made of aluminium have just been invented in Germany."—Evening Paper.]
Visited my tailor's puddling works to-day. He has some really neat new pig-iron fabrics for the season. I am thinking of trying his Bessemer steel indestructible evening-dress suits.
Really this new plan of mineral clothing comes in very usefully when one is attacked by roughs on a dark night. Floored an assailant most satisfactorily with a touch of my lead handkerchief.
The only objection I can find to my aluminium summer suiting is its tendency to get red hot if I stand in the sun for five minutes.
I think I can now safely defy my laundress to injure my patent safety ironclad steel shirts.
I find, however, that there is no need of a laundress at all. When one's linen is soiled, sand-paper and a mop will clean it in no time.
My frock-coat has got a nasty kink in it; must send it to be repaired at the smelting furnace.
Once Cut don't Come Again!—It was said by The Figaro last week that Japan would demand "an extra payment of one hundred millions of taels by China." But surely a hundred million Chinamen would evince a pig-headed obstinacy in parting with, or being parted from, their "tails" on any consideration.
"A Lightship Sunk."—Impossible! couldn't have been a lightship, it must have been a very heavy ship.

