Original Size

THIS is November, a month from the fire;

And the ascertained losses reach higher and higher.

As the figures go up the long faces go down,

Till the month-ago-boaster appears like a clown.

The trick of deception is voted a sham;

The people say fraud, and the agents say ————,

And the grim old receivers call round for the keys,

The assets, the papers, the books, if you please.

Original Size

Of all unwelcome things that this world ever saw,

The bitterest is a compulsory craw.

For a large-swelling dignity, proud and high born,

Who claims that his status is bright as the morn,

To get down and meekly acknowledge the corn,

And squeeze himself through the small end of a horn,

Suggests that a little less premature crowing,

A little more system, a little more knowing,

Some better kept books and more accurate showing,

Are best, in the long run, for our underwriters,

To save them the sneers and the jeers of backbiters,

The scoffs of the public, the quips of the writers,

And a toss from the cow with the crumpled horn

That kicked over the lamp that set fire to the barn

That caused the Great Fire in Chicago!

Original Size

THIS is the Claimant, so pure and so mild,

With his heart and his manners as bland as a child,

Whose amiability never is riled,

And whose modest demands with his loss proofs are filed.

His property cost, as he shows from his deeds,

A sum which ten thousand times over exceeds

The mite of insurance for which he now pleads.

His goods, to be sure, they were mostly sold out;

His building within was a shell, and without

Was veneered with cheap stone, or thin iron, or grout;

But his word, bless my soul! who could harbor a doubt,

Its truthfulness or its exactness about?

So he pockets his funds, and he rolls up his eyes,

This mild-mannered man, with a cheerful surprise;

And he rubs his two hands with an innocent glee,

Which would do, I am sure, your heart good for to see,

As he blesses the cow with the crumpled horn

That kicked over the lamp that set fire to the barn

That caused the Great Fire in Chicago!

THIS is an Adjuster! Now open your eyes.

A man who the trade of rapacity plies!

Original Size

He will cut down your claims, he will cut up your proofs,

He will riddle your case through its warps and its woofs.

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