THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS-SHAY"

And Other Poems

By Oliver Wendell Holmes

(Reprinted from the Atlantic Monthly of September, 1858)

With numerous original illustrations by Thomas McIlvaine

Frederick A. Stokes Company

1897

CONTENTS

THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE:

ON LENDING A PUNCHBOWL.

THE LAST LEAF.

THE DEACON'S MASTERPIECE:

OR THE WONDERFUL "ONE-HOSS-SHAY."

A LOGICAL STORY.

Have you heard of the wonderful one-hoss-shay,

That was built in such a logical way?

It ran a hundred years to a day,

And then, of a sudden, it—ah, but stay,

I'll tell you what happened without delay.

Scaring the parson into fits,

Frightening people out of their wits,—

Have you ever heard of that, I say?

Seventeen hundred and fifty-five.

Georgius Secundus was then alive,—

Snuffy old drone from the German hive!

That was the year when Lisbon-town

Saw the earth open and gulp her down,

And Braddock's army was done so brown,

Left without a scalp to its crown.

("BRADDOCK'S ARMY WAS DONE SO BROWN.")

It was on the terrible Earthquake-day

That the Deacon finished the one-hoss-shay.

Now in building of chaises, I tell you what,

There is always somewhere a weakest spot,—

In hub, tire, felloe, in spring or thill,

In panel, or crossbar, or floor, or sill,

In screw, bolt, thoroughbrace,—lurking still

Find it somewhere you must and will,—

Above or below, or within or without,—

And that's the reason, beyond a doubt,

A chaise breaks down, but doesn't wear out.

But the Deacon swore (as Deacons do)

With an "I dew vum," or an "I tell yeou,"

He would build one shay to beat the taown

'n' the keounty 'n' all the keuntry raoun';