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قراءة كتاب Narrative of the Life and Travels of Serjeant B——
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Narrative of the Life and Travels of Serjeant B——
act, or even think, but he was acquainted with it all; and that he saw me at all times and in all places: but this I thought could hardly be true, as I imagined God could certainly not see me in the dark.
My grandfather being a very healthy and pious man, no weather would prevent him attending the church at Melrose, which was about a mile distant; but my grandmother being older, and not so robust in her constitution, was often detained at home in stormy weather, or during the winter season; but, though absent in body from the ordinances, she was present in spirit; and it is to be desired that all Christians would improve their time when necessarily detained at home from church as she did; for it was her custom to make family worship, I only being present, during the time of divine service; and it was the greatest possible wonder to me what pleasure she could have in it when my grandfather was absent, and I could take no active part in it, except making an attempt to follow the psalm as she was singing it. It was certainly however a great pleasure to her, though a real weariness to me; but although I could not then see what advantage I could receive from her praying to God to make me an object of his special care, she saw it; and I trust I have reaped much benefit from her prayers. Nor did she lose all the minister's labours, for there were two or three pious neighbours who used to meet upon the Sabbath evening, and talk over the substance of what they had heard, their "speech being with grace, seasoned with salt." My grandfather being a man of superior mental endowments, and having an excellent memory, I was quite astonished how they, and especially he, could remember so much, when, with all my attention, I could scarcely bring home one sentence of what had been preached. I was, however, very careful to learn my task, which was a psalm, or a part of one, and a few questions out of the Assembly's Shorter Catechism; and when I got through that book, I used to answer the whole questions on two Sabbath evenings, to keep them on my memory. In short, I remained under this friendly roof, having the great benefit of precept and example, attending school regularly, until I was eight years of age.
I was then, I may say, sent upon the wide world, in which I have ever since been a wanderer; for, when I came to Edinburgh, where my father and mother then lived, I went to a Mr. ——, in the capacity of a tobacco spinner's boy, where I had of course to mix with many of those I would have chosen to avoid; but, being attentive to my work, my master soon began to take notice of me, and was wont to give me a penny more upon Saturday night than the rest, but this without their knowledge; and his kindness made me if any thing more diligent. I found myself more comfortable here than at first I expected, and I continued in this way until I was ten years of age, when I was hired to a Mrs. C. to wait at the table, run messages, &c. for which I received my meat, clothes, and one pound ten shillings in the half-year.
I was remarkably well situated in her service, partly through a very trifling circumstance, which was this: When out one day airing, she dropped her gold watch and some money, and I found them and gave them to her in a very cheerful manner, being happy to have it in my power to relieve her uneasy mind; and she took a liking to me, as she said, for my apparent honesty and attention. The first strong proof I had of her attachment was as follows: The housekeeper desired me to bring her a bottle of small beer, and it being somehow not to her mind, she abused me so as to make me cry plentifully; and before I could get myself properly composed, the bell rang, and I was obliged to go up stairs, and, notwithstanding my care not to be discovered, my mistress perceived me in rather a confused state of mind, and asked me the reason in a very kind manner. I was afraid to tell a lie, and her kind treatment emboldened me to acknowledge the truth. After due inquiry, finding the housekeeper in the wrong, and me in the right, she ordered her to get ready to leave the house, but with wages and board wages till the term. Her regard to me still increased, and I did all in my power to please her. In a few weeks after, she sent for my mother, and told her she intended to make a man of me, if we both lived, meaning to give me an education for a genteel business, and to put me in a way to do for myself. My parents were highly gratified with these proposals. But, alas! how uncertain are all human plans and prospects; "For who saith, and it cometh to pass, when the Lord commandeth it not?" The great leveller, who pours contempt upon princes, laid my kind benefactor, "with the hopes of the father that begat me, and of the mother who bare me, low in the dust;" and shall I say, in bitterness of soul, as Jacob did in another case, "that all these things are against me?" Very far be this expression from me; but I have no cause to doubt that, if Mrs. C. had thought herself so near leaving our world, she would have made some provision for me; for the day on which she died, perceiving the approach of the last enemy, she ordered the servant girl who was in the room to ring the bell for me; but her sister-in-law, understanding this, came out of the bed-room, and prevented me entering, saying, I was not wanted, and, as the girl afterwards told me, said to Mrs. C that I was not in the house. Mrs. C.'s brother-in-law got nearly all her money, houses, and moveables, and only gave me sixpence when I carried his portmanteau to the coach on his leaving Edinburgh. But I was not the only one that sustained a loss by her death; for many poor creatures, who had been her weekly pensioners, mourned their respective losses also. It was really mournful to see these, and her trades-people, and others who had been benefited by her, on the day she was interred, many of them with drooping heads and watery eyes, taking a view of the last remains of their charitable friend; and they had just cause, for even the woman who was her principal weekly pensioner, and had been her nurse, was struck off the list.
My time not being out, I served it out with Mrs. C.'s sister-in-law, and was then engaged with a Mr. B——, who had formerly been in better circumstances, but through some affliction had now lost his sight. My chief business was to go out with him when he wanted an airing; but in this family I experienced a great contrast from that of my valuable friend formerly mentioned, for in truth I was almost starved for want of victuals. It would not become me to tell about the shifts practised in the family, but I remember well being so pinched in my allowance, that I stood eagerly waiting for the potato pot coming off, that I might get the skins to eat, which I would devour with greediness. The servant girl fared no better than myself, and was unable to afford me any relief as she could not even give me a potato, they being all counted out to her. How much better would it have been for Mr. B——'s two daughters to have done the work of the house themselves, and saved the meat and wages of a servant maid, instead of appearing in public like ladies, when their circumstances were so indifferent! But they had seen better days; "they could not work, and to beg they were ashamed." So true is Solomon's remark, at present as well as in his own day, "There is that maketh himself rich, yet hath nothing."
About this time my worthy grandmother died, (of whom I cannot think without heartfelt emotion,) committing her soul "to Him in whom she believed;" and, as she was exemplary in her life, she was no less so in her death. Although I had not the satisfaction of seeing her on her death-bed, I have since learned some very comfortable particulars. Nothing else worth mentioning happened while I was in this family, but one circumstance; which was this: I happened to get a few halfpence given me, with which I purchased an old fife, and this cheering companion beguiled many a hungry hour, for I was remarkably fond of music. This was not the first time I showed my attachment to music; for