THE CONVOLVULUS

A COMEDY IN THREE ACTS

TO

CARL VAN VECTEN

THOSE CONCERNED

• Jane Gibbs
• Gloria, Her Sister
• Kathryn
• Dill
• Jack Hargrave
• Peter Hargrave
• Col. Christopher Crapsey

SCENES OF THE PLAY

• Act 1. Jane's house on Gramercy Park
• Act 2. Peter Hargrave's Apartment
• Act 3. Reverting to Act 1

TIME

An Afternoon

THE CONVOLVULUS

  ACT I

Scene—Jane's house on Gramercy Park. A living room with doors R. and L. Entrance U. R. Curtains U. C., showing an alcove which looks out on the Park. Dill, in velvet knickerbockers and jacket, is arranging service for tea. Jack, a young man of twenty, has entered. He wears green kid gloves and a green Alpine hat to match.

Jack. So you're getting married, Dill?

Dill. I am, sir. Have you any objections to offer?

Jack. None whatever, Dill. But why tea at this hour? It's only just past lunch.

Dill. It's the very latest thing, sir; all Americans are doing it now. It's to keep up with the London time, sir, and there it's tea-time already. (Examines a crumpled manuscript with his back to Jack.)

Jack (indifferently). What is that, Dill?

Dill. It's a will, sir.

Jack (observing. Dill's progress about the room). Never admit that you have a will, Dill. Where there's a will there's a conscience, you know. One must get over such things.

Dill. I'll try to, sir. (Puts manuscript back in pocket.)

Jack (with an air of importance). I've some melancholy news, Dill.

Dill. Melancholy for whom, sir?

Jack. For you, Dill, and for my father. I hope you won't take it too seriously when I say you're the living picture of my father.

Dill. Oh, I just adore pictures, sir.

Jack. My father does not adore you, Dill. He took you for his brother.

Dill (with dignity). Really, sir! Who do you say that I am, sir?

Jack (facing about). I say you're the butler, Dill.

Dill. Quite right, sir. (Attentively.) Are you a gentleman?

Jack. By no means.

Dill. Your father?

Jack. Nor he either. (Enter Jane.)

Dill. My brother was a gentleman. (Exit haughtily with tray.)

Jane is forty, a young woman of forty. If failure is the worst deformity, she must be open to that accusation, for she has compromised with life. But Jane will always be something a little better than a woman.

Jane. What is it all about, Jack? Yourself? Kathryn? Or merely me?

Jack. None of us, Jane. Dill said that he was getting married.

Jane. Oh, Dill's always getting married. He never does, though.

Jack. And then Dill was telling me about a brother of his, and I was telling him about a brother of my father's. I have never told you, Jane, but father really came here looking for a brother. Sort of a business journey on his part. That is—none of his business whatever. I tell him fathers should begin at home and stay there. But father feels differently. Have you got a husband, Jane? I know that nothing short of marriage will ever stop him.

Jane. I haven't, Jack. But I almost had an English one once.

Jack. No need to explain, Jane. They don't exist. Our men were all killed in the Wars of the Wives. Father says it was they who started that horrible Rebellion in this country, and that it's going on still. Father doesn't believe in matrimony. That's because you're the first person I've had the heart to broach the subject to. (Aside.) I don't think I shall ever marry. It's a fine opportunity for a young man.

Jane. To become your mother, Jack, I might think of it. But a minister can support anything but a wife or a sense of humor.

Jack. Ah! but if father comes into the estate—

Jane. The estate?

Jack. Yes, you see when my grandfather died he left his entire fortune to his second son, at the same time disinheriting us. Said that when father became a minister he handled enough tainted money without hoarding any of his.

Jane. That's too bad, Jack. Not a penny?

Jack. No, just died and damned us.

Jane. He might have left that to his father, mightn't he?

Jack. So he might. It doesn't make much difference now though. By the terms of the will he had to be found, or to find himself, within one year, or the estate reverted to us. (Pulls out watch.) His time's almost up I fear.

Jane. You don't think he's dead, do you?

Jack. That or strayed I guess. (Sighs.) He was always the black sheep of the family.

Jane. It was certainly very good of your father to come to America to find his brother. Where did he think he was, do you suppose, in Australia?

Jack. Well—his brother always had an antipathy for Americans. He married an American! (Enter Gloria.)

Gloria. is the ordinary middle-aged mortal. In face, figure and deportment she is like any other middle-class American woman. All American women belong to the middle class. They are not all Glorias, however.

Gloria (flouncing into a chair). Have you seen Kathryn—anyone? (Puts the finishing look to a letter; seals it; then resumes without noticing either one of them.) I have a very important letter for her.

Jack. I didn't know anything was of importance to Kathryn, now that she's in love with me.

Gloria (quietly). Kathryn in love with you? Mr. Hargrave, you must