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قراءة كتاب Gallery of Comicalities Embracing Humorous Sketches
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اللغة: English
Gallery of Comicalities Embracing Humorous Sketches
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"Fair Nymph of the perspiring brow,
Let these vain scruples cease,
While on thy rosy lips I now
Imprint the kiss of peace.
"O! let the ardent sighs you hear,
The vows of love I utter,
Steal gently on thy willing ear,
As smooth as melted butter.
"Always spare diet must be wrong—
'Tis weary, stale, and flat;
And having lived on lean so long,
'Tis time I turn to fat."
"O vile, unworthy man! forbear—
Such conduct who can brook?
Thus to desert thy lady fair,
To hug a greasy cook!
"I cannot to such wrongs submit,
But soon will clear the coast—
Hence, vile Sultans of the Spit!
For I will rule the roast.
"And never let me see you more,
As thus I've caught you tripping—
I didn't know my lord before
Had such a love for dripping."
THE
DRUNKARD'S
PROGRESS,
IN
TWELVE STEPS,
FROM
DESIGNS
BY
ROBERT SEYMOUR.
Circa 1829.
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XV.
THE DRUNKARD'S PROGRESS.
STEP THE FIRST
The March of Intellect implies
That men begin to think—
I leave their wisdom to the wise,
And sing the March of Drink!
Now let us make it our employ
The Drunkard's course to scan;
And mark the habits in the boy
Which ripen in the man:
Observe! this hopeful Sprig of Snip's
By stealth has seized the gin—
Applies the bottle to his lips,
And sucks the poison in.
Drink deep, thou liquor-loving brat!
Nor spare the cordial drop,
While the old folks enjoy their chat,
And gossip in the shop.
They taught thee first to love the juice,
And prove the maxim true,
That sauce for gander and for goose
Is sauce for gosling too!
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XVI.
STEP THE SECOND.
"My Dear, the morning's cold and raw,
And as I cannot stop,
Make haste, the daffy bottle draw,
And let us have a drop.
"Our little boy all fume and fret
I can't abide to see—
You and I always loved a wet,
And wherefore shouldn't he?
"Cut out for drinking he appears,
The feeling gives me pleasure;
Then never mind his tender years,
But give him ample measure."
And, Mrs. Snip, wet both his eyes;
So shall the lad inherit
His mother's thirsty properties,
And all his father's spirit!
For ways in which a child should go
To train him it is fit;
And as he grows in years, we know
He won't depart from it.
GALLERY OF COMICALITIES—No. XVII.
STEP THE THIRD.
White Conduit! in thy alcoves green,
While softly sighs the summer gale,
How many Nymphs and Swains are seen
To sip their tea or swig their ale!
And weekly here at Sabbath's close
The Hebrew gay ones still resort—
The taudry Belles and Dingy Beaux
Their party-colour'd togs to sport.
Why should not Snip, our man of measure,
With Spouse and Darling wander here?
To pass a Sunday eve in pleasure,
To blow a cloud and taste the beer!
And let young Hopeful have his fill—
His rising spirit why control?
"I loves," cries Snip, "to see him swill—
It makes the boy so very droll:
"Then seize the jug, and do not spare!
But be awake, thou man of stitches,
Or, by the powers, your hopeful Heir
Will spill the liqour on your breeches."
The rapid course of time we know;