قراءة كتاب John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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SEA-FISHING.
Boatman. "DON'T YER FEEL ANYTHINK YET, SIR? P'RAPS YOU'D BETTER TRY ANOTHER WORM."
PROFESSIONAL.
Mrs. Tongs. "LOR, ADOLPHUS! HOW BEAUTIFUL THOSE BEANS SMELL."
Adolphus (probably in the hair-cutting line). "THEY DO, INDEED, MY LOVE! THEY REMIND ONE OF THE MOST DELICIOUS 'AIR OIL!"
ONE NIGHT FROM HOME.
Wife (to Unreasonable Monster). "IT'S OF NO USE, GEORGE, YOUR SAYING, 'HANG IT, MARIA;' I MUST HAVE SOME PLACE TO PUT MY THINGS!"
THE VOLUNTEER REVIEW.
Policeman (who, we are bound to say, is extremely civil). "WHITE TICKET, MA'AM? LETTER H?—YES, MA'AM. QUITE RIGHT. OVER THE HURDLES, IF YOU PLEASE!"
A SKETCH IN ST. JAMES'S STREET.
Odious Juvenile. "OH, LOOK YE 'ERE, BILL, 'ERE'S A VOLUNTEER CORPSE FOR YER!"
MAKING THE BEST OF IT.
Irate Proctor. "SIR, I SENT YOU BACK TO YOUR COLLEGE ONLY FIVE MINUTES AGO, TO INVEST YOURSELF IN YOUR ACADEMICAL COSTUME!"
Fast Freshman (with affability). "YES! AND HERE WE ARE AGAIN! ISN'T IT ODD?"
A FACETIOUS INFERENCE.
Sarcastic Peeler. "GOING TO 'AVE A NEW 'ORSE, THEN, CABBY?" Cabby. "NEW 'OSS! 'OW DY'E MEAN?"
Sarcastic Peeler. "WHY, YOU'VE GOT THE FRAMEWORK TOGETHER ALREADY!"
UNEXPECTED BLISS.
Swell (dressing). "HURRAH!! BY JOVE, THERE'S A BUTTON AT THE BACK OF MY SHIRT!!!"
TOO CLEVER BY HALF!
First Boy. "ARE YOU IN A HURRY WITH THAT LETTER, BILL?"
Second Ditto. "YES. IT'S TO BE DELIVERED IMMEDIATELY, AND I'M TO WAIT."
First Boy. "WELL! WAIT HERE, AND HAVE A GAME AT PITCH AND TOSS, AND DELIVER IT IMMEDIATELY AFTERWARDS."
THE CROSSING-SWEEPER NUISANCE.
A SERIOUS DRAWBACK.
Hideous Old Lady of Fashion (with Plain Daughter). "CHARMING BALL AT SIR CHARLES'S LAST NIGHT! EVERYBODY THERE—GOOD ROOMS, NOT OVER-CROWDED—CAPITAL SUPPER! DEAREST BARBARA ENJOYED HERSELF PRODIGIOUSLY! I DON'T SEE, HOWEVER, HOW I CAN WELL AVOID ASKING HIS SISTER AND NIECE TO MY BALL, NEXT WEEK, HE IS SO FOND OF THEM; AND YET YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE PEOPLE WHO DO NOT GO OUT NEARLY AS MUCH AS WE DO, AND ARE NOT AT ALL IN OUR POSITION IN SOCIETY!"
A TU QUOQUE.
Sunday-School Teacher. "OH, JOHNNY, I'M SHOCKED TO SEE YOU PLAYING WITH YOUR TOP. YOU SHOULD LEAVE YOUR TOYS AT HOME ON A SUNDAY!"
Johnny (quick, but impudent). "THEN WHY DO YOU COME OUT WITH YOUR HOOP?"
LADY AUDLEY'S SECRET.
A HOPEFUL PROSPECT.
Clara. "WHAT DOES TOMMY THINK? WHY, TOMMY HAS JUST GOT A NEW LITTLE BROTHER!"
Tommy. "HAVE I, THOUGH? HOW JOLLY!—THERE'LL BE SOMEBODY NOW TO WEAR MY OLD CLOTHES!"
SERVANTGALISM.—No. XIII.
Lady. "THEN I SUPPOSE YOU CONSIDER YOURSELF PERFECTLY COMPETENT TO HEAR THE CHILDREN THEIR LESSONS, SHOULD THEY STAY AWAY FROM SCHOOL ANY DAY?"
Candidate for Situation. "HOH, YES, MEM! THE FAMILY I WERE WITH, SAID I HADN'T OUGHTER BE ANYTHINK BUT A NUSSERY GUVNESS!"
A FINANCIAL DIFFICULTY.
Swell (who has received Four Penn'orth of Coppers in Change). "HERE! BY JOVE, YOU KNOW LOOK HERE! HI! WHAT THE DEUCE!—I SAY—WHAT AM I TO DO WITH THESE HA'PENCE, YOU KNOW?"
BEWARE OF ARTILLERY WHISKERS!
THIS IS THE CRITICAL POSITION OF LOUISA AND CAPTAIN CHARLEY BANG—HIS WHISKER CAUGHT IN HER EARRING, AND PAPA KNOCKING AT THE DOOR!
