قراءة كتاب John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 3 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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DABBLING.
Master Jack (to very refined Governess, who has suddenly appeared). "OH, MISS FINNIKIN, DO COME IN; IT'S SO AWFULLY JOLLY!"
HOW TO MAKE A WATERING-PLACE PLEASANT, PARTICULARLY TO INVALIDS.
TIME, 6·30 A.M. (A Hint to the Powers that be at Sandbath.)
IN THE VOLUNTEERS.
Small Effective. "—AND THEN, JUST LOOK AT THE IMMENSE IMPROVEMENT IN THE PERSONAL APPEARANCE OF OUR FELLOWS!"
A DAY'S PLEASURE.
OH! ISN'T IT DELIGHTFUL, GETTING YOUR BOOTS OFF AFTER A THOROUGH WET DAY'S HUNTING!
SEA-SIDE STUDIES.
Impertinent Cousin (reads). "'The rocks along our Coast may be seen studded with these beautiful zoophites. * * * * The skin is soft, and the tentacles are of the finest violet, mingled often with pink, mauve, green, and yellow; indeed the colours vary so much in different individuals, all alike beautiful, that it is impossible to describe them rigidly. * * * * During the ebb of the tide, these creatures may be contemplated on a fine day to great advantage, and few spectacles are calculated to afford more pleasure to a lover of Nature.'—H'M!—HERE ARE TWO LOVELY SPECIMENS, FRED! YOU TAKE ONE, AND I'LL TAKE THE OTHER!"
CONSIDERATE ATTENTION.
Paterfamilias (who is stout and a Volunteer also). "OHO! MY NEW UNIFORM—COME HOME, I SEE!"
Family. "YES, PA DEAR! AND WE'VE TRIED IT ON THE WATER-BUTT, AND IT LOOKS SO NICE!"
PORTRAIT OF A CERTAIN STUDENT WHO IS READING SO HARD AT THE SEA-SIDE.
THE LAST DAY AT THE SEA-SIDE.—PACKING UP.
Maid (to Paterfamilias.) "PLEASE, SIR, MISSUS SAY YOU'RE TO COME IN, AND SIT ON THE BOXES; BECAUSE WE CAN'T GET 'EM TO, AND THEY WANTS TO BE CORDED."
"WELL! THE BOLDNESS OF SOME PEOPLE!"—A SKETCH ON THE BRIGHTON COAST.
AN EXCESS OF CLEANLINESS.
Old Party (very naturally excited). "WHY, CONFOUND YOU! YOU ARE WIPING MY PLATE WITH YOUR HANDKERCHIEF!"
Waiter (blandly). "IT'S OF NO CONSEQUENCE, SIR—IT'S ONLY A DIRTY ONE!"
THE LAST SWEET THING IN HATS.
A GROUND SWELL.
Party (who doesn't suffer). "BRACING! AIN'T IT, JACK? I ALWAYS THINK THAT THE BEAUTY OF SAILING IS, YOU GET AIR AND MOTION WITHOUT FATIGUE. DON'T YOU THINK SO. EH?"
AN EXPERIMENT ON A VILE BODY.
Medical Pupil (after dragging a patient round the surgery, succeeds in extracting a tooth). "COME! THAT'S NOT SO BAD FOR A FIRST ATTEMPT!"
EXTRAVAGANCE.
"NOW YOUNG UNS, CUT AWAY—BLOW THE EXPENSE!"
SCENE IN A MODERN STUDIO.
JACK ARMSTRONG HAS PAINTED A MODERN SUBJECT, FROM REAL LIFE, AND PAINTED IT UNCOMMONLY WELL.—STRANGE TO SAY, HE HAS SOLD HIS PICTURE. MESSRS. FEEBLE AND POTTER (very high-art men, who can't get on without mediæval costume, and all the rest of it) THINK IT A MISTAKE.—CURIOUSLY ENOUGH, THEIR PICTURES ARE UNSOLD!
SOMETHING LIKE A DESCRIPTION.
Young Stickleback. "POR-TAW! HAVE YOU SEEN A FRIEND OF MINE WAITING ABOUT HE-AW?"
Porter. "FRIEND, SIR! WHAT SORT OF GENTLEMAN WAS HE?"
Young Stickleback. "HAW! TALL—MILITARY-LOOKING MAN, WITH MOUSTACHERS—SOMETHING LIKE ME!"
GONE AWAY!
Old Coachman. "NOW, MISS ELLEN! MISS ELLEN! YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PA SAID! YOU WAS TO TAKE THE GREATEST CARE OF JOEY!"
Miss Ellen. "SO I WILL, ROBERT! AND THAT'S WHY I AM TAKING HIM OFF THE NASTY HARD ROAD, POOR THING!"
