wor a lot o' gooid paintins i' th' French gallery, an' it towt me th' meanin o' what fowk call 'poor art,' for th' French art is too poor to find clooas for th' men an' wimmen they paint, for throo one end o' th' raam to t'other it lukt like nowt as mich as a empty swimmin bath whear a craad o' wimmin, three rows deep, wor waitin' for th' watter to come in. Billy pooled a handful o' copper aght ov his pocket an' reckoned to be thrang caantin it, wol he gat aghtside, for he could'nt fashion to luk up, an' aw felt thankful at Mally wor at hooam. Awve noa daat ther wor a deeal o' beauty at we missed, an' a deeal o' things'at wor varry trew to natur but its possible for trewth to be too bare-faced at times. It had getten farish on ith' day when we coom aght, dazed and maddled wi th' wonders'at we'd seen, (an' we had'nt seen a quarter o' what wor thear) an' we felt at a cup o' teah, wod'nt do us ony harm soa we started off for us lodgins.

Billy sed he'd had enough o' walkin' an' he wod'nt stir another peg till we gat a cab, soa aw put up mi finger an' one coom. Aw tried all th' French aw knew an' a gooid deeal o' th' English but he could'nt understand a word, soa aw wrate th' name o' th' place an' th' name o' th' street on a card an' gave it him an' he grinned like a Cheshire cat an' started off. It wor then we began to find aght what Payris wor like. We went throo one big archway at they call Arc de Triomphe de'Etoile, an' it fairly made us tremmel. Aw lukt at mi guide book, (an' yo can do th' same if yo have one,) an' gat to know all abaat it, an' what it had cost; aw cant say'at it seems varry useful but its varry ornamental. We rattled on throo bustlin streets whear th' shops wor palaces, an' ther wor soa mich to tak us fancy at we tuk noa noatice o' th' cab chap wol he pooled up suddenly ith' front ov a arched passage an' coom an' oppened th' door an' pointin to th' haase he mooationed us to get aght. But it wom't th' reight shop! 'Café du Nord,' wor printed up an 'Manchester House,' wor on a big sign an' 'English spoken,' wor i' big gold letters on th' winders but it wor nawther th' same place nor th' same street at we'd left ith' mornin. Aw gat aght to mak enquiries but Billy wod'nt stir. "Arnt ta baan to get aght?" aw sed.

"Awst stir nooan wol yo find th' reight shop, awm varry comfortable here."

Aw did'nt feel varry comfortable, but aw went inside to mak a few enquiries, but they mud as weel ha been Objibberaway Indians for ony sense aw could mak on em, they did plenty o' bowin an' scrapin an' hutchin up o' ther shoolders but that did'nt help me ony, soa aw gate hold o' one chap bi th' collar an' tuk him an' planted him opposite th' words 'English Spoken,' an' aw says, "Nah then, can ta read that?" "Wee, wee," he sed an' off he set, an' aw lukt for th' cab an' Billy but awd hard wark to find 'it for ther wor a craad o' fowk gethered raand an' th' driver wor stampin an' ravin away at Billy wol he fair fooamed at th' maath, an' aw felt thankful just then'at aw did'nt understand French, for my belief is at he wornt prayin for him to get aght but swearin at him for stoppin in, but Billy wor lainin back smookin a cigar an' seemed to be enjoyin it. "Sacrey mon dew!" he shaated at him. "Sacrey thisen, if tha wants," sed Billy, "awst nooan stir aght o' this wol tha finds th' reight shop; if tha connot find it awm sewer aw connot an' aw've trailed abaat wol awm stall'd."

But, for a blessin, th' chap at awd had hold on, coom back an' browt a lass wi him, one at aw sup-pooas wor kept o' purpose for th' job, an' as shoo happened to know as mich English as aw did French we gate on famously. At last aw bethowt me o' th' railway station an' that shoo seemed to understand, an' shoo tell'd th' driver summat, but he seemed to think he'd had enuff on us, but aw shoved him o' one side an' set daan along-side Billy, an' as he could see noa way else aght on it, he jumpt on th' dicky an' tuk his revenge aght o' th' horse. Be-foor he gat us to th' station aw saw th' haase we wor seekin soa aw stopt him, an' we gat aght, an' as we gave him double his fare he gave us a flourishin' salute an drave off. As aw wor gooin in at th' door Billy pooled me back an' pointed to two little childer abaat eight year old an' he laft wol he could'nt spaik for ivver so long, "He, he, he, ho! did ta ivver come across owt like that? Tha mun tell Mally abaat that when tha gets hooam for it licks all! Why even th' bits o' childer can tawk French!" an' it wor true too, tho' when aw coom to consider abaat it aw did'nt see owt soa varry wonderful in it after all.

A cup o' teah an' a walk to th' railway station whear we gat a gooid wesh for a penny, freshened us up a bit an' we prepared to spend th' furst neet i' Payris th' same as mooast fowk do; that is, we started aght i' hoaps at we should see summat at we should condemn after we'd seen it, an' deplore th' existence ov th' varry things at form th' principal attraction for nine aght o' ivvery ten at pay a visit to th' finest city ith' world, whear gaiety flooats ovver th' surface o' ivverything an' th' cankerin sorrow is busy deep ith' heart.

A sorrowing heart ne'er seems as sad

As when'midst gaiety;

You see beneath the flimsy veil,

Its writhing misery.

The apple with the golden rind,

The greedy eye gloats o'er,

But then, alas,'tis sad to find

Dry ashes at its core.

The smiling face, the beaming eye.

The soft and snowy skin;

Turns pleasure into horror when

We find all black within.

Better the humblest face and form.

If virtue dwells therein;

Than all the beauties that adorn

The inward heart of sin.