قراءة كتاب John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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THE FASHIONS.
A FRIENDLY HINT TO YOUNG LADIES WHO WEAR THOSE DEAR DELIGHTFUL BARÈGE DRESSES. ALWAYS LET THE SLIP (OR WHATEVER THE MYSTERIOUS GARMENT IS CALLED) BE AS LONG AS THE OUTER DRESS!
INNOCENCE.
"OH, SIR! NO, SIR! PLEASE, SIR, IT AIN'T ME, SIR! IT'S THE OTHER BOYS, SIR!"
UNLUCKY.
"VAT'S THE MATTER, EH?"
"OH, THERE'S ALWAYS A SOMETHINK! VY, I'VE BIN AND LEFT MY HOPERA-GLASS IN A CAB NOW."
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
No. V.
JUST TO SHOW HOW ONE THING LEADS TO ANOTHER—MR. BRIGGS (WHO HAS COME OUT ON THE LEADS WHILE THE MEN ARE GONE TO DINNER) IS SHOWN BY THE BUILDER HOW IT WOULD BE THE EASIEST THING IN THE WORLD TO "THROW" HIS PASSAGE INTO HIS DINING ROOM, AND BUILD A NEW ENTRANCE HALL WITH A SLIGHT CONSERVATORY OVER IT.—TO THE RIGHT OF THE CARTOON IS MRS. BRIGGS(!) WHO THINKS MR. B. HAS TAKEN LEAVE OF HIS SENSES.
EVENING PARTIES.
"BILL, YOU GOES OUT A GOOD DEAL.—TELL US, IS IT THE KERRECT THING TO TAKE ONE'S 'AT INTO A HEVENING PARTY?"
A DELICIOUS MORSEL.
Jacky. "HALLO, TOMMY! WHAT HAVE YOU GOT THERE?"
Tommy. "HOYSTER."
Jacky. "OH! GIVE US A BIT."
DIFFERENT PEOPLE HAVE DIFFERENT OPINIONS.
Flunkey. "APOLLO? HAH! I DESSAY IT'S VERY CHEAP, BUT IT AIN'T MY IDEER OF A GOOD FIGGER!"
OUR NATIONAL DEFENCES.
Small Briton. "THE FRENCH INVADE US, INDEED! AND WHAT SHOULD WE BE ABOUT ALL THE TIME?—WHY, WE SHOULD RISE LIKE ONE MAN!"
GENTEEL PRACTICE.
Apprentice. "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, SHALL I FILL UP MRS. TWADDLE'S DRAUGHTS WITH WATER?"
Practitioner. "DEAR, DEAR ME, MR. BUMPS, HOW OFTEN MUST I MENTION THE SUBJECT? WE NEVER USE WATER—Aqua destillata, IF YOU PLEASE!"
THE GOOD LITTLE BOY.
Bathing Woman. "MASTER FRANKY WOULDN'T CRY! NO! NOT HE!—HE'LL COME TO HIS MARTHA, AND BATHE LIKE A MAN!"
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
No. VI.
TABLEAU, REPRESENTING FURTHER IMPROVEMENTS IN MR. BRIGGS'S HOUSE—DESTRUCTION OF THE WALL WHICH SEPARATES THE PARLOUR FROM THE PASSAGE.
(N.B.—As the wall is only lath and plaster, of course little or no mess is made. Mrs. Briggs says she hopes Mr. B. is satisfied now.)
BITTER SARCASM.
MAL-APROPOS.
Gentleman (in Shower-Bath). "HOLLO! HOLLO! WHO'S THERE? WHAT THE DEUCE DO YOU WANT?"
Maid. "IF YOU PLEASE, SIR, HERE'S THE BUTCHER, AND MISSUS SAYS WHAT WILL YOU HAVE FOR DINNER TO-DAY?"
WE ALL HAVE OUR TROUBLES.
Sister Mary. "WHY, CHARLEY, DEAR BOY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU SEEM QUITE MISERABLE!"
Charley. "AH! AIN'T I JUST! HERE'S MA' SAYS I MUST WEAR TURN-DOWN COLLARS TILL CHRISTMAS, AND THERE'S YOUNG SIDNEY BOWLER (WHO'S NOT HALF SO TALL AS I AM) HAS HAD STICK-UPS AND WHITE CHOKERS FOR EVER SO LONG!"
THE RULING PASSION.
"NOW, TELL ME, DEAR, IS THERE ANYTHING NEW IN THE FASHIONS?"
NOTHING LIKE WARM BATHING.
"HOLLO! HI! HERE! SOMEBODY! I'VE TURNED ON THE HOT WATER, AND I CAN'T TURN IT OFF AGAIN!"
MR. BRIGGS'S PLEASURES OF HOUSEKEEPING.
No. VII.
Scene: Principal barricade at Mr. Briggs's House.—OWING TO THE INCOMPLETE STATE OF THE ALTERATIONS, MR. BRIGGS IS OBLIGED TO ENTER HIS HOUSE THROUGH THE PARLOUR WINDOW. THE POLICEMAN MISTAKES HIM FOR A BURGLAR, AND ACTS ACCORDINGLY. IN MR. BRIGGS'S HAND MAY BE OBSERVED A FINE LOBSTER, WHICH HE HAS BROUGHT HOME TO CONCILIATE MRS. B.
