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قراءة كتاب John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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John Leech's Pictures of Life and Character, Volume 1 (of 3) From the Collection of "Mr. Punch"
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UNFEELING OBSERVATION.
Vulgar Little Boy. "OH, LOOK HERE, BILL! HERE'S A POOR BOY BIN AND HAD THE HINFLUENZA, AND NOW HE'S BROKE OUT ALL OVER BUTTONS AND RED STRIPES."
IN FOR IT.
"HALLO, SIR! ARE YOU AWARE YOU'RE TRESPASSING THERE?"
THE CORRECT MODE OF RIDING IN ROTTEN ROW.
GALLOP AS HARD AS YOU CAN AMONGST THE LADIES. IT CREATES A SENSATION!!
A HACK FOR THE DAY.
Stable-Keeper (to little Gent). "SET TO KICKING, AND THEN BOLTED INTO A SHOP! DID HE, NOW? AH! HE ALWAYS WAS A LIGHT-'ARTED 'OSS."
SPORTING EXTRAORDINARY—THE OLD DOG POINTS CAPITALLY.
"I TELL YER WHAT IT IS, SAM! IF THIS FOOL OF A DOG IS GOING TO STAND STILL LIKE THIS HERE IN EVERY FIELD HE COMES TO, WE MAY AS WELL SHUT UP SHOP, FOR WE SHAN'T FIND NO PARTRIDGES."
THE GREENWICH DINNER.—A CONVIVIAL MOMENT.
Gentleman (under the influence of White Bait). "WELL, OLD FELLA—REKLECT—PRESHENT COMPANY DINE HERE WITH ME EVERY MONDAY, THURSDAY, AN' SAT'DY—FRIDAY—NO—TOOSDAY, THURSDAY, AND SAT'DY—M:ND AN' DON' FORGET—I SAY—WHAT A GOOD FELLA YOU ARE—GREATEST 'STEEM AND REGARD FOR YOU, OLD FELLA!!!"
STRONG ASSERTION.
Omnibus Driver (addressing another). "YOU'RE A PRETTY FELLOW, YOU ARE. YOU CALL YOURSELF A MAN? WHY, I'VE SEEN A BETTER MAN THAN YOU MADE OUT OF TEA-LEAVES!"
ALARMING SYMPTOMS AFTER EATING BOILED BEEF AND GOOSEBERRY PIE.
Little Boy. "OH, LOR, MAR, I FEEL JUST EXACTLY AS IF MY JACKET WAS BUTTONED."
VERY FINE FRUIT.
Newspaper Boy (reads). "A GENTLEMAN IN THE N-E-I-G-H—NEIGHBOURHOOD OF——, HAS AT THE PRESENT TIME SEVERAL E-NORMOUS GOOSEBERRIES IN HIS GARDEN, WHICH MEASURE TEN INCHES IN C-I-R-CIR C-U-M-CUM F-E-R-FER E-N-C-E-ENCE CIRCUMFERENCE, AND ARE OF THE A-S-AS ASTON ASTONISHING WEIGHT OF THREE HOUNCES HEACH."
His Friend. "OH, WHAT WHOPPERS! WOULDN'T I LIKE A PINT!"
A PHILOSOPHER.
Harriet. "ST! ST! ST! DEAR ME, NOW, I'VE BROKEN MY COMB, AND ALL MY BACK HAIR'S COME DOWN. WHAT WITH BRUSHING, AND DRESSING, AND CURLING, AND ONE THING AND THE OTHER, WHAT A PLAGUE ONE'S HAIR IS TO BE SURE!"
Young Fellow. "WELL, HARRIET, WE ARE ALL BOTHERED WITH SOMETHING. LOOK AT US MEN; WE HAVE TO SHAVE EVERY MORNING, SUMMER AND WINTER!"
MATERNAL SOLICITUDE.
Mamma. "GEORGINA! GEORGINA!"
Georgina. "WELL, MA. HOW YOU DO FIDGET ONE!" Mamma. "SHOULDERS, MY LOVE; SHOULDERS! PRAY HOLD YOURSELF UP. YOU'RE STOOPING AGAIN DREADFULLY."
ALARMING OCCURRENCE.
Chorus of Unprotected Females. "CONDUCTOR! STOP! CONDUCTOR! OMNIBUS-MAN! HERE'S A GENTLEMAN HAD AN ACCIDENT AND BROKE A JAR OF LEECHES, AND THEY'RE ALL OVER THE OMNIBUS!"
FANCY PORTRAIT.
THE INDIVIDUAL WHO SENDS A FIFTY-POUND NOTE FOR UNPAID INCOME-TAX TO THE CHANCELLOR OF THE EXCHEQUER.
VERY FINE TALKING!
"NOW, THEN, SIR, JUMP UP ON THE ROOF, AND LOOK SHARP, PLEASE, SIR, HERE'S T'OTHER BUS A-COMING."
HOW TO SUIT THE TASTE.
Waiter. "GENT IN NO. 4 LIKES A HOLDER AND A THINNER WINE, DOES HE? I WONDER HOW HE'LL LIKE THIS BIN?"
MAKING THE MOST OF IT.
AN AFFAIR OF IMPORTANCE.
Harriet. "OH! I'M SO GLAD YOU ARE COME, BLANCHE! I'VE BEEN SO PERPLEXED I COULD SCARCELY SLEEP ALL NIGHT."
Blanche. "WELL! WHAT IS IT, DEAR?"
Harriet. "WHY, I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO HAVE MY NEW MERINO FROCK VIOLET OR DARK BLUE!"
