قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch's Dramatic Sequels

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‏اللغة: English
Mr. Punch's Dramatic Sequels

Mr. Punch's Dramatic Sequels

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
الصفحة رقم: 6

manner.] Nay, but hear you, goodman builder——

2nd Clown.

[In homely vernacular.] Look here, Bill, you can drop that jargon. There’s no one here but ourselves, and I ain’t amused by it. It’s all very well to try it on when there’s gentlefolk about, but when we’re alone you take a rest.

1st Clown.

[Puzzled.] Ay, marry!

2nd Clown.

[Throwing down tools.] Stow it, I say, or I’ll have to make you. Marry, indeed! If you mean “Yes,” say “Yes.” If you mean “No,” say “No.”

1st Clown.

All right, mate.

2nd Clown.

[Grumbling.] It’s bad enough staying up all night building more rooms on to this confounded castle—I should have thought it was big enough and ugly enough without our additions—but if I’m to listen to your gab, s’help me——!

1st Clown.

Hush! here comes some one.

[They make a valiant pretence of work as Horatio and Fortinbras enter.

Horatio.

[Ecstatically, completely deceived by this simple ruse.] My Master-Builders!

Fortinbras.

Idle dogs!


1st Clown.

[Elizabethan again.] Argal, goodman builder, will he nill he, he that builds not ill builds well, and he that builds not well builds ill. Therefore, perpend!

Horatio.

[Appreciatively.] How absolute the knave is!

Fortinbras.

He seems to me to be an absolute fool.

Horatio.

Not at all. A most intelligent working man. I’ll draw him out. [To 1st Clown.] When will the house be finished, sirrah?

1st Clown.

When it is done, Sir.

Horatio.

Ay, fool, and when will that be?

1st Clown.

When it is finished, o’ course.

Horatio.

[To Fortinbras.] There! What do you call that? Witty, eh?

Fortinbras.

I call it perfectly idiotic, if you ask me.

Horatio.

Well, well; we’ll try again. [To 1st Clown.] And whose is the house, fellow?

1st Clown.

[Fatuously.] Marry, his that owns it. Ask another.

Horatio.

[To Fortinbras.] Ha! Ha! Good again. By the Lord, Fortinbras, as Hamlet used to say, the toe of the peasant comes so near the heel of the courtier, it galls his kibe.

Fortinbras.

[Savagely.] The toe of the courtier is getting so perilously near the person of the peasant that you’d better get rid of the latter as soon as possible.

Horatio.

[Doubtfully.] Perhaps you’re right. And yet I was always taught to consider that kind of thing awfully entertaining. But, there. Fashions change in humour as in other things. Send them away.

Fortinbras.

[Giving them money.] Away with you, fellows. Go and get drunk.

[Exeunt clowns.

Horatio.

[Relapses into blank verse on their departure.]
What think you of the New Wing, Fortinbras?
The whole effect is cheerful, is it not?
Good large sash windows, lots of light and air;
No mediæval nonsense.

Fortinbras.

[Who does not admire the building.] So I see!

Horatio.

No ghosts here, eh, to stalk about the rooms
And fade against the crowing of the cock?

Fortinbras.

Probably not—and, yet—look there, Horatio;
There’s something in the shadow over there,
Moving towards the house. It’s going in.
Stop it, Horatio.

Horatio.

[Furious.]Here, I can’t stand this.
I’ll cross it though it blast me. Stay, Illusion!


[The figure stops.

Are you aware, Sir, that you’re trespassing?
This is a private house.

Ghost.

[In a sepulchral voice.] My private house!

Horatio.

Oh, come, you know, you can’t mean that! Your house?
Considering that I’m building it myself—
Of course, assisted by an architect—
I think you must admit there’s some mistake.

Ghost.

[Turning and advancing towards them.]
Pooh! What do I care for your architect?
It’s mine, I say, my house, my plot, my play.
I made them all!

Horatio.

Oh, my prophetic soul!
Shakspeare!

Ghost.

The same.

Horatio.


I say, confound it all,
Do you propose to haunt the castle too?

Ghost.

Yes, the New Wing.

Horatio.

It’s really much too bad.
You’ve filled the old part of the house with spectres;
I think you might have left the new to me.

Fortinbras.

That seems a reasonable compromise.

Ghost.

I shall stay here; make up your mind to that,
But if you like to share the Wing with me
I’ve no objection.

Horatio.

[Stiffly.]Thanks, I’d rather not.

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