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قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch's Dramatic Sequels
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اللغة: English
الصفحة رقم: 3
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Admetus.
[Bursting into indignant stichomuthia.] Not once or twice but fifty times a day.
Alcestis.
Nay, you can have too much of a good thing.
Admetus.
I don’t agree. Speech is a good to men....
Alcestis.
Your drift, as yet, I do not well perceive.
Admetus.
... Yet too much speech is an undoubted ill.
Alcestis.
Ah, you rail ever at a woman’s tongue.
Admetus.
Where the cap fits, why, let it there be worn.
Alcestis.
You spoke not thus when I redeemed your life.
Admetus.
No, for I thought you gone ne’er to return.
Alcestis.
’Twas not of mine own will that I came back.
Admetus.
I’m very certain that ’twas not of mine!
Alcestis.
Tell that to Heracles who rescued me.
Admetus.
I will, next time he comes to stay with us.
Alcestis.
You say that, knowing that he cannot come.
Admetus.
Why should he not? What keeps him then away?
Alcestis.
Cleansing Augean stables: a good work!
Admetus.
Idiot! He never will let well alone.
Alcestis.
[Tired of only getting in one line at a time.] Iou! Iou! What thankless things are men!
We cook their dinners, sew their buttons on,
And even on occasion darn their socks,
And they repay us thus! But see where comes
Great Heracles himself. ’Tis ever thus
With heroes. Mention them, and they appear.
[Enter Heracles in the opportune manner customary in Greek tragedy.
Heracles.
[Preparing to salute the gods at great length.]
Great Zeus, and thou, Apollo, and thou too——
Admetus.
[Interrupting hurriedly.] Oh, Heracles, you come in fitting time
To this afflicted and much suffering house.
Heracles.
Wherefore afflicted? Anybody dead?
Admetus.
Not dead, but living. That the grievance is.
Heracles.
A plague on riddles! Make your meaning clear.
Admetus.
Six months, six little months, six drops of time!
Heracles.
You still remain unwontedly obscure.
Admetus.
Six months ago you tore my wife from Death.
Heracles.
Well, what of that? What’s all the fuss about?
Admetus.
I know you did it, meaning to be kind,
But, oh, it was a terrible mistake.
Indeed, I think it positively wrong
That you should interfere with Nature’s laws
In this extremely inconsiderate way.
Depend upon it when a lady dies
It’s most unwise to call her back again.
You should have left Alcestis to the shades
And me to live a happy widower.
Heracles.
Ungrateful man, what words are these you speak?
Were you not glad when I did bring her back?
Admetus.
I was. But that was several months ago.
And in the interval I have found cause,
A dozen times a day, to change my mind.
Heracles.
What cause so strong that you should wish her dead?
Admetus.
Well, if you must be told, she’s sadly changed;
Dying has not at all agreed with her.
Before Death took her she was kind and mild,
As good a wife as any man could wish,
How altered is her disposition now!
She scolds the servants, sends away the cook,
—A man I’ve had in my employ for years—
And actually criticises ME!
Heracles.
I’m really very much distressed to hear
This mournful news. But what am I to do?
Admetus.
Make Death receive her back: an easy task.
Heracles.
But will Alcestis see it, do you think?
Alcestis.
Please, don’t distress yourself on her account;
She’d leave her husband upon any terms.
Is there a woman in the whole wide world
That would not rather die a dozen times
Rather than live her life out with this man,
This puling, miserable, craven thing,
Who lets his wife lay down her life for him
And, when by miracle she is restored
To earth again and claims his gratitude,
Has the bad taste to grumble at the fact?
Admetus.
I told you, Heracles, she had a tongue.
Heracles.
Indeed, she’s well equipped in that respect.
Alcestis.
To such a man the stones themselves would speak.
Heracles.
Well, lady, are you then content to die?
Alcestis.
I’m positively anxious to be off.
Heracles.
Then will I go and make Death take you hence.
Alcestis.
I’m sure I shall be very much obliged.
Admetus.
But, oh! not half so much obliged as I.
Heracles.
So be it, then. Death won’t be far away.
And when I’ve found him and have punched his head,
I’ll make him come and take you off at once.
[Exit