قراءة كتاب Mr. Punch In Society: Being the humours of social life
تنويه: تعرض هنا نبذة من اول ١٠ صفحات فقط من الكتاب الالكتروني، لقراءة الكتاب كاملا اضغط على الزر “اشتر الآن"
simply perfect!”
Distinguished Lady Amateur. “Oh, far from perfect, I fear! To be perfect, alas! the part of Pauline requires that one should be young and lovely, you know!”
Mr. C. G. Potts (who piques himself on his old-fashioned courtesy). “My dear lady, you are a living proof to the contrary!”
II
“Oh, how d’ye do, Sir Bruin? And so you’re leaving England for good, and we shall never see you again!”
“Nothing of the kind! Who says so?”
“Oh, I saw it in one of the papers. But the papers don’t always tell the truth, I’m sorry to say!”
III
Enthusiastic Lady Visitor (at winter health resort). “What a delightful place this is, Professor. And the baths, how perfect! I could bathe all day—couldn’t you?”
The Professor. “Well, you see, I’m a resident, and that makes a difference!”
Lady Visitor. “Ah! to be sure. I suppose you never even think of taking a bath!”
IV
Love-lorn Middy (about to join his ship). “I’ve come to say good-bye, Amy!”
Cousin Amy. “Good-bye, Johnny. When we see you next, I hope you’ll be an Admiral!”
V
“I was so sorry not to be at home when you called, Mr. Binks!”
“Oh, pray don’t mention it! It didn’t matter in the least, I can assure you!”
VI
Hostess. “What, must you go already, Professor?”
The Professor. “My dear madam, there is a limit even to my capacity of inflicting myself on my friends!”
Hostess. “Oh no—not at all—I assure you!”
VII
Miss Bugge. “Oh, but mine is such a horrid name!”
Young Brown. “Ah—a—um—I’m afraid it’s too late to alter it now!”
VIII
Deaf Old Gentleman. “The conversation seems very amusing, my dear. What is it all about?
Hostess (fortissimo). “When they say anything worth repeating, grandpapa, I’ll tell you!”
IX
She. “No! I can’t give you another dance. But I’ll introduce you to the prettiest girl in the room!”
He. “But I don’t want to dance with the prettiest girl in the room. I want to dance with you!”
X
He. “Everybody will be leaving Town now that Parliament is dissolved.”
She. “Yes. Indeed I think all the nice people have left already!”
XI
Jones (under the impression that he is making himself agreeable). “I don’t care a bit for a pretty woman, myself! They have no conversation. I like a plain woman, who has plenty to say for herself!”
XII
(Dinner has just been announced)
Hester and Billy (sadly). “Good night, sir. We’ve got to go to bed.”
Distinguished Professor (who is taking down the Hostess). “Ah, my dears, that’s where we’re all wishing we were!”
XIII
Nervous Person (speaking at last to his Neighbour). “Do you know who that remarkably ugly person is just opposite—talking to the black-haired lady, you know—um—eh?”
Neighbour. “That, sir, is my brother!”
Nervous Person. “Yes? I—I—I beg your pardon—I—I—Stupid of me not to have seen the family likeness—a—a—a——”
[Collapses and disappears.
XIV
The Professor. “How singularly you and your brother resemble each other, Miss Angelina!”
Miss Angelina. “Is that a compliment to my brother, or a compliment to me?”
XV
He. “What a pretty fan!”
She. “Yes; I had it given to me when I first came out!”
XVI
Servant. “Lady Glitter’s carriage!”
Son of the House (tenderly, as he hands her Ladyship out). “Ah! I’ve been waiting for this moment all the evening!”
XVII
Caller. “Only fancy, Mrs. Dowderley, I was very nearly calling on your neighbour, Lady Masham, whose day at home it is too! when I suddenly remembered I wasn’t dressed for paying calls!”
XVIII
Hostess. “What, leaving already, Mr. Mivers! I’ve scarcely seen anything of you the whole evening!”
Mr. Mivers (who goes in
