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قراءة كتاب Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 2, May 1, 1858

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‏اللغة: English
Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 2, May 1, 1858

Stephen H. Branch's Alligator, Vol. 1 no. 2, May 1, 1858

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دار النشر: Project Gutenberg
الصفحة رقم: 6

transmit your name to their farthest posterity. The mariners of every ocean will strive to imitate your meritorious example. The noble youth of our country will read of your heroic deeds, and resolve to emulate your manly virtues. Little children already lisp your name in terms of praise. Tears of gratitude are freely shed for you by either sex, and fervent prayers go up to Heaven from the habitations of all this land, that your valuable life may be long preserved, and that health, happiness, and prosperity may ever be your lot. And your name will be revered by coming generations, when every being who beholds the sun of this day, shall be a tenant of the tomb!


Advent Record—One dollar a line.

George W. Matsell was born in Brandon, England, and weighed 15 pounds at birth, and won the first premium at the Brandon Baby Show. Robert Dale Owen visited Brandon on the day after his birth, and gave him some sugar plums and a silver porringer.

Richard B. Connolly was born in Bandon, Ireland, (R., for Rogue, being the only difference between Matsell and Connolly’s birthplace), 20 miles west of Cork, and will leave with his parents for Independence Hall, Philadelphia, where he will be naturalized. Richard is a handsome and promising child, and opened his expressive eyes and sweetly smiled, and said Mum and Pap when two days old, when his astounded Mum dropped him into the lap of Bridget, and screamed and swooned and fell and rose with dishevelled hair and projected tongue and frothy mouth and distended nostrils and run into the neighbors, with Pap after her with gigantic strides. Three days after birth, little Dick said

Slippery-
Dicery,
Hickory-
Trickery,

when his confounded Mum scampered to the Fortune Teller, and Pap to the Physician for worm seed, and to the Nurse of the Infant Lunatic Asylum, for a strait-jacket for the little scamp, when the medicine and jacket soothed him into a gentle slumber, with Mum and Pap slowly expiring on his precocious lips.

And as he lay,
All the lone day,
In a cradle,
Like a stable,

in his starts and stitches and solliloquies, he often roared to Pap and Mum the words “County Clerk,” “Contractor,” “Silent Alms House Governor,” “Ex-officio Record Commissioner,” “Comptroller,” and inquired for Simeon Draper,

Whose clerk he would like to be,
In the land beyond the sea,
Called the Free America,
Where there’s “lots of trickery.”

Dickey may be a model Comptroller, unless he prematurely dies with proboscis paralysis.

Richard Busteed was born near Tipperary, Ireland. His eyes reflected a thrilling flippancy on the fourth day. Will soon leave Tipperary with his Daddy and Mummy for New York. Will probably excel in the sophistry and metaphysics of law. Has prodigious conscientious developments, projecting like cliffs and promontories all over his skull. Will always desire to pay his debts before they are due. As he matures, he will be susceptible and impulsive to the 90th degree, and have marvellous compunction. Will never be rude nor impolite, nor snatch candy from other boys, although his bump of snatchitiveness may grow in wild Irish luxuriance, or through Catalinian pomatum, which may cause him to snatch pap from his Mummy’s breast, (while she is serenely snoozing, to recruit from his unreasonable demand for pap,) which may nourish and increase his hillock of diminutive snatchitiveness, and cause him to snatch like Bobby Morris, and thunder and lightning, when he grows to the size of a tailor, in America, where he will be naturalized through his father’s residence (?) And, altogether, little Dickey Busteed is a cute infant, and will soon be a rouser of a brat, and may rise from a petty-foggy lawyer, to a keen and pious Corporation Counsel, and might make a very shrewd Record Commissioner, but will always be poor, from his too moderate and compunctive legal fees.


Increase Record—One dollar a line.

None.


Decrease Record—One dollar a line.

Paupers Gratis.

None.


Marine Intelligence.

The Clipper Stephen H. Branch arrived this morning in a tempest, with a cargo of Alligators, consigned to

Ross & Tousey, 121 Nassau street.
Dexter & Brother, 14 Ann street.
Hamilton & Johnson, 22 Ann street.
Samuel Yates, 22 Beekman street.
Madden & Company, 21 Ann street.
Cauldwell & Long, 23 Ann street.
Boyle & Whalen, 32 Ann street and
Bell & Hendrickson, 25 Ann street.

TRANSCRIBER’S NOTES:

—Obvious print and punctuation errors were corrected.

—A Table of Contents was not in the original work; one has been produced and added by Transcriber.

—The cover image has been created by transcriber and placed in public domain.

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