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A Parody Anthology
BY
CAROLYN WELLS
AUTHOR OF “A NONSENSE ANTHOLOGY"
NEW YORK
CHARLES SCRIBNER'S SONS
1919
Copyright, 1904
By Charles Scribner's Sons
Published, September, 1904
TO
MRS. THEODORE ROOSEVELT
NOTE
Acknowledgment is hereby gratefully made to the publishers of the various parodies for permission to include them in this compilation.
The parodies from “Diversions of the Echo Club," by Bayard Taylor, and Mary and Her Lamb, from “New Waggings of Old Tales," by Frank Dempster Sherman, are published by permission of Messrs. Houghton, Mifflin & Company.
By the courtesy of John Lane are included the parodies of Anthony C. Deane, from his volume “New Rhymes for Old;" and those of Owen Seaman, from volumes “In Cap and Bells" and “The Battle of the Bays."
Bed During Exams is from “Cap and Gown," published by Messrs. L. C. Page & Company.
The Golfer's Rubaiyat, by H. C. Boynton, is from “A Book of American Humorous Verse," published by Messrs. Herbert S. Stone & Company.
Staccato to O Le Lupe is from “Last Scenes from Vagabondia," by Bliss Carman and Richard Hovey, published by Messrs. Small, Maynard & Company.
The two poems by Ben King are published by Forbes & Co.
The following are published by Charles Scribner's Sons: Song, from “The Book of Joyous Children," by James Whitcomb Riley; Home Sweet Home, and Imitation, from “Poems" of H. C. Bunner; and Song of a Heart, and Godiva, from “Overheard in a Garden," by Oliver Herford.
CONTENTS
After Omar Khayyam Page The Golfer's Rubaiyat H. W. Boynton 3 An Omar for Ladies Josephine Daskam Bacon 5 The Modern Rubaiyat Kate Masterson 7 Lines Written by Request Owen Seaman 10 The Baby's Omar Carolyn Wells 12
After Chaucer Ye Clerke of ye Wethere Anonymous 14
After Spenser A Portrait John Keats 15
After Shakespeare The Bachelor's Soliloquy Anonymous 17 Poker Anonymous 18 Toothache Anonymous 19 A Dreary Song Shirley Brooks 20 To the Stall-holders at a Fancy Fair W. S. Gilbert 21 Song J. W. Riley 22 The Whist Player's Soliloquy Carolyn Wells 23
After Wither Answer to Master Wither's Song Ben Jonson 25
After Herrick Song Oliver Herford 27 To Julia Under Lock and Key Owen Seaman 27
After Nursery Rhymes An Idyll
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of Phatte and Leene Anonymous 29 Nursery Song in Pidgin English Anonymous 30 The House that Jack Built Samuel Taylor Coleridge 31 Boston Nursery Rhymes Rev. Joseph Cook 32 A Song of a Heart Oliver Herford 33 The Domicile of John A. Pope 34 Mary and the Lamb Frank Dempster Sherman 37
After Waller The Aesthete to the Rose Punch 40
After Dryden Three Blessings Anonymous 41 Oyster Crabs Carolyn Wells 41
After Dr. Watts The Voice of the Lobster Lewis Carroll 42 The Crocodile Lewis Carroll 43
After Goldsmith When Lovely Woman Phœbe Cary 44
After Burns Gaelic Speech Anonymous 45 My Foe Anonymous 46 Rigid Body Sings J. C. Maxwell 48
After Catherine Fanshawe Cockney Enigma on the Letter H Horace Mayhew 49
After Wordsworth On Wordsworth Anonymous 51 Jacob Phœbe Cary 51 Fragment Catherine M. Fanshawe 52 Jane Smith Rudyard Kipling 54 Only Seven Henry S. Leigh 55 Lucy Lake Newton Mackintosh 57
After Sir Walter Scott Young Lochinvar Anonymous 58
After Coleridge The Ancient Mariner Anonymous
After Waller The Aesthete to the Rose Punch 40
After Dryden Three Blessings Anonymous 41 Oyster Crabs Carolyn Wells 41
After Dr. Watts The Voice of the Lobster Lewis Carroll 42 The Crocodile Lewis Carroll 43
After Goldsmith When Lovely Woman Phœbe Cary 44
After Burns Gaelic Speech Anonymous 45 My Foe Anonymous 46 Rigid Body Sings J. C. Maxwell 48
After Catherine Fanshawe Cockney Enigma on the Letter H Horace Mayhew 49
After Wordsworth On Wordsworth Anonymous 51 Jacob Phœbe Cary 51 Fragment Catherine M. Fanshawe 52 Jane Smith Rudyard Kipling 54 Only Seven Henry S. Leigh 55 Lucy Lake Newton Mackintosh 57
After Sir Walter Scott Young Lochinvar Anonymous 58
After Coleridge The Ancient Mariner Anonymous
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class="pginternal" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">61 Striking Charles S. Calverley 64
After Southey The Old Man's Cold Anonymous 66 Father William Lewis Carroll 67 Lady Jane A. T. Quiller-Couch 69
After Campbell The New Arrival George W. Cable 72 John Thompson's Daughter Phœbe Cary 73
After Thomas Moore The Last Cigar Anonymous 76 'Twas Ever Thus Anonymous 77 There's a Bower of Bean-Vines Phœbe Cary 78 Disaster Charles S. Calverley 79 Sarah's Halls Judy 80 'Twas Ever Thus Henry S. Leigh 81
After Jane Taylor The Bat Lewis Carroll 82
After Barry Cornwall The Tea Tom Hood, Jr. 83
After Byron The Rout of Belgravia Jon Duan 84 A Grievance J. K. Stephen 85
After Charles Wolfe The Burial of the Bachelor Anonymous 88 Not a Sou had He Got R. Harris Barham 89 The Marriage of Sir John Smith Phœbe Cary 91
After Mrs. Hemans The Thyroid Gland R. M. 93
After Keats Ode on a Jar of Pickles Bayard Taylor 94
After Heine Imitation H. C. Bunner 96 Commonplaces Rudyard Kipling 97
After Hood The Dripping Sheet Anonymous
After Southey The Old Man's Cold Anonymous 66 Father William Lewis Carroll 67 Lady Jane A. T. Quiller-Couch 69
After Campbell The New Arrival George W. Cable 72 John Thompson's Daughter Phœbe Cary 73
After Thomas Moore The Last Cigar Anonymous 76 'Twas Ever Thus Anonymous 77 There's a Bower of Bean-Vines Phœbe Cary 78 Disaster Charles S. Calverley 79 Sarah's Halls Judy 80 'Twas Ever Thus Henry S. Leigh 81
After Jane Taylor The Bat Lewis Carroll 82
After Barry Cornwall The Tea Tom Hood, Jr. 83
After Byron The Rout of Belgravia Jon Duan 84 A Grievance J. K. Stephen 85
After Charles Wolfe The Burial of the Bachelor Anonymous 88 Not a Sou had He Got R. Harris Barham 89 The Marriage of Sir John Smith Phœbe Cary 91
After Mrs. Hemans The Thyroid Gland R. M. 93
After Keats Ode on a Jar of Pickles Bayard Taylor 94
After Heine Imitation H. C. Bunner 96 Commonplaces Rudyard Kipling 97
After Hood The Dripping Sheet Anonymous
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href="@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@46700@[email protected]#Page_98" class="pginternal" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">98 I Remember, I Remember Phœbe Cary 101
After Alfred Bunn A Yule Tide Parody Anonymous 103 Self-Evident J. R. Planché 104
After Lord Macaulay The Laureate's Tourney William Aytoun 105
After Emerson Mutton Anonymous 113
After Mary Howitt The Lobster Quadrille Lewis Carroll 114
After Mrs. Browning In the Gloaming Charles S. Calverley 116 Gwendoline Bayard Taylor 118
After Longfellow The Modern Hiawatha Anonymous 120 Higher Anonymous 120 Topside Galah Anonymous 122 Excelsior Anonymous 124 The Day is Done Phœbe Cary 126 A Psalm of Life Phœbe Cary 127 How Often Ben King 129 Desolation Thomas Masson 130 The Birds and the Pheasant Punch 131
After Whittier Hiram Hover Bayard Taylor 133
After Mrs. Norton The Horse and his Master Philip F. Allen 136 The New Version W. J. Lampton 138
After Poe What Troubled Poe's Raven John Bennett 139 The Amateur Flute Anonymous 140 Samuel Brown Phœbe Cary 142 The Promissory Note Bayard Taylor 143
After Alfred Bunn A Yule Tide Parody Anonymous 103 Self-Evident J. R. Planché 104
After Lord Macaulay The Laureate's Tourney William Aytoun 105
After Emerson Mutton Anonymous 113
After Mary Howitt The Lobster Quadrille Lewis Carroll 114
After Mrs. Browning In the Gloaming Charles S. Calverley 116 Gwendoline Bayard Taylor 118
After Longfellow The Modern Hiawatha Anonymous 120 Higher Anonymous 120 Topside Galah Anonymous 122 Excelsior Anonymous 124 The Day is Done Phœbe Cary 126 A Psalm of Life Phœbe Cary 127 How Often Ben King 129 Desolation Thomas Masson 130 The Birds and the Pheasant Punch 131
After Whittier Hiram Hover Bayard Taylor 133
After Mrs. Norton The Horse and his Master Philip F. Allen 136 The New Version W. J. Lampton 138
After Poe What Troubled Poe's Raven John Bennett 139 The Amateur Flute Anonymous 140 Samuel Brown Phœbe Cary 142 The Promissory Note Bayard Taylor 143
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class="c3">The Cannibal Flea Tom Hood, Jr. 145 Annabel Lee Stanley Huntley 147 The Bells Judy 148 The Goblin Goose Punch 150
After Lord Houghton Love and Science Anonymous 153
After Tennyson The Bather's Dirge Tennyson Minor 155 Little Miss Muffet Anonymous 156 The Musical Pitch Anonymous 158 To an Importunate Host Anonymous 158 The Village Choir Anonymous 159 The Biter Bit William Aytoun 161 The Laureate William Aytoun 163 The Lay of the Lovelorn William Aytoun 165 In Immemoriam Cuthbert Bede 174 Sir Eggnogg Bayard Taylor 175 Godiva Oliver Herford 177 A Laureate's Log Punch 178 The Recognition Wm. Sawyer 180 The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell A. C. Swinburne 180 Timbuctoo W. M. Thackeray 183
After Tupper Of Friendship Charles S. Calverley 185 Of Reading Charles S. Calverley 186
After Thackeray The Willow-Tree W. M. Thackeray 188
After Charles Dickens Man's Place in Nature Anonymous 191
After Robert Browning Home Truths from Abroad Anonymous 193 After Browning Anonymous
After Lord Houghton Love and Science Anonymous 153
After Tennyson The Bather's Dirge Tennyson Minor 155 Little Miss Muffet Anonymous 156 The Musical Pitch Anonymous 158 To an Importunate Host Anonymous 158 The Village Choir Anonymous 159 The Biter Bit William Aytoun 161 The Laureate William Aytoun 163 The Lay of the Lovelorn William Aytoun 165 In Immemoriam Cuthbert Bede 174 Sir Eggnogg Bayard Taylor 175 Godiva Oliver Herford 177 A Laureate's Log Punch 178 The Recognition Wm. Sawyer 180 The Higher Pantheism in a Nutshell A. C. Swinburne 180 Timbuctoo W. M. Thackeray 183
After Tupper Of Friendship Charles S. Calverley 185 Of Reading Charles S. Calverley 186
After Thackeray The Willow-Tree W. M. Thackeray 188
After Charles Dickens Man's Place in Nature Anonymous 191
After Robert Browning Home Truths from Abroad Anonymous 193 After Browning Anonymous
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href="@public@vhost@g@gutenberg@html@files@46700@[email protected]#Page_194" class="pginternal" tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">194 The Cock and the Bull Charles S. Calverley 195 A Staccato to O Le Lupe Bliss Carman 200 By the Sea Bayard Taylor 203 Angelo Orders his Dinner Bayard Taylor 205 The Flight of the Bucket Rudyard Kipling 206 The Jam Pot Rudyard Kipling 210 Imitation of Robert Browning J. K. Stephen 210 The Last Ride Together J. K. Stephen 212 Up the Spout A. C. Swinburne 215
After Walt Whitman An American, one of the Roughs, a Kosmos Anonymous 219 Camerados Bayard Taylor 220 Imitation of Whitman Judy 221 Imitation of Whitman J. K. Stephen 224 The Poet and the Woodlouse A. C. Swinburne 224
After Charles Kingsley Three Little Fishers Frank H. Stauffer 229 The Three Poets Lilian Whiting 230
After Mrs. R. H. Stoddard The Nettle Bayard Taylor 231
After Bayard Taylor Hadramaut Bayard Taylor 233
After William Morris Estunt the Griff Rudyard Kipling 235
After Alfred Austin An Ode Anthony C. Deane 237
After W. S. Gilbert Ode to a London Fog Anonymous 239 President Garfield Anonymous 240 Propinquity Needed Charles Battell Loomis 241
After R. H. Stoddard The Cantelope Bayard Taylor
After Walt Whitman An American, one of the Roughs, a Kosmos Anonymous 219 Camerados Bayard Taylor 220 Imitation of Whitman Judy 221 Imitation of Whitman J. K. Stephen 224 The Poet and the Woodlouse A. C. Swinburne 224
After Charles Kingsley Three Little Fishers Frank H. Stauffer 229 The Three Poets Lilian Whiting 230
After Mrs. R. H. Stoddard The Nettle Bayard Taylor 231
After Bayard Taylor Hadramaut Bayard Taylor 233
After William Morris Estunt the Griff Rudyard Kipling 235
After Alfred Austin An Ode Anthony C. Deane 237
After W. S. Gilbert Ode to a London Fog Anonymous 239 President Garfield Anonymous 240 Propinquity Needed Charles Battell Loomis 241
After R. H. Stoddard The Cantelope Bayard Taylor
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tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">243
After A. A. Proctor The Lost Voice A. H. S. 244 The Lost Ape J. W. G. W. 245 The Lost Word C. H. Webb 246
After George Meredith At the Sign of the Cock Owen Seaman 248
After D. G. Rossetti A Christmas Wail Anonymous 252 Ballad Charles S. Calverley 253 Cimabuella Bayard Taylor 255 The Poster Girl Carolyn Wells 257
After Jean Ingelow Lovers, and a Reflection Charles S. Calverley 259 The Shrimp Gatherers Bayard Taylor 261
After Christina Rossetti Remember Judy 263
After Lewis Carroll Waggawocky Shirley Brooks 264 The Vulture and the Husband-Man A. C. Hilton 265
After A. C. Swinburne Gillian Anonymous 268 Atalanta in Camden-town Lewis Carroll 270 The Manlet Lewis Carroll 272 If Mortimer Collins 274 The Maid of the Meerschaum Rudyard Kipling 275 Quaeritur Rudyard Kipling 277 A Melton Mowbray Pork-pie Richard Le Gallienne 278 Foam and Fangs Walter Parke 278 A Song of Renunciation Owen Seaman 279 Nephelidia A. C. Swinburne 282 The Lay of Macaroni Bayard Taylor 284
After Bret Harte The Heathen Pass-ee A. C. Hilton
After A. A. Proctor The Lost Voice A. H. S. 244 The Lost Ape J. W. G. W. 245 The Lost Word C. H. Webb 246
After George Meredith At the Sign of the Cock Owen Seaman 248
After D. G. Rossetti A Christmas Wail Anonymous 252 Ballad Charles S. Calverley 253 Cimabuella Bayard Taylor 255 The Poster Girl Carolyn Wells 257
After Jean Ingelow Lovers, and a Reflection Charles S. Calverley 259 The Shrimp Gatherers Bayard Taylor 261
After Christina Rossetti Remember Judy 263
After Lewis Carroll Waggawocky Shirley Brooks 264 The Vulture and the Husband-Man A. C. Hilton 265
After A. C. Swinburne Gillian Anonymous 268 Atalanta in Camden-town Lewis Carroll 270 The Manlet Lewis Carroll 272 If Mortimer Collins 274 The Maid of the Meerschaum Rudyard Kipling 275 Quaeritur Rudyard Kipling 277 A Melton Mowbray Pork-pie Richard Le Gallienne 278 Foam and Fangs Walter Parke 278 A Song of Renunciation Owen Seaman 279 Nephelidia A. C. Swinburne 282 The Lay of Macaroni Bayard Taylor 284
After Bret Harte The Heathen Pass-ee A. C. Hilton
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align="right"> 286 De Tea Fabula A. T. Quiller-Couch 289
After Austin Dobson The Prodigals Anonymous 292
After Andrew Lang Bo-Peep Anthony C. Deane 294
After W. E. Henley Imitation Anthony C. Deane 296
After R. L. Stevenson Bed During Exams Clara Warren Vail 298
After Oscar Wilde More Impressions Oscuro Wildgoose 299 Nursery Rhymes à la Mode Anonymous 299 A Maudle-In Ballad Punch 300 Quite the Cheese H. C. Waring 302
After William Watson The Three Mice Anthony C. Deane 304
After Kipling Fuzzy Wuzzy Leaves Us E. P. C. 305 A Ballad Guy Wetmore Carryl 307 Jack and Jill Anthony C. Deane 309 The Legend of Realism Hilda Johnson 313
After Stephen Phillips Little Jack Horner Anthony C. Deane 315
After Fiona McLeod The Cult of the Celtic Anthony C. Deane 317
After Various Writers of Vers de Société Behold the Deeds H. C. Bunner 319 Culture in the Slums W. E. Henley 322 A Ballade of Ballade-Mongers Augustus Moore 322
After Various Popular Songs Beautiful Snow Anonymous 324 The Newest Thing in Christmas Carols Anonymous 325 The Tale of Lord Lovell Anonymous 326 “Songs Without Words" Robert J. Burdette
After Austin Dobson The Prodigals Anonymous 292
After Andrew Lang Bo-Peep Anthony C. Deane 294
After W. E. Henley Imitation Anthony C. Deane 296
After R. L. Stevenson Bed During Exams Clara Warren Vail 298
After Oscar Wilde More Impressions Oscuro Wildgoose 299 Nursery Rhymes à la Mode Anonymous 299 A Maudle-In Ballad Punch 300 Quite the Cheese H. C. Waring 302
After William Watson The Three Mice Anthony C. Deane 304
After Kipling Fuzzy Wuzzy Leaves Us E. P. C. 305 A Ballad Guy Wetmore Carryl 307 Jack and Jill Anthony C. Deane 309 The Legend of Realism Hilda Johnson 313
After Stephen Phillips Little Jack Horner Anthony C. Deane 315
After Fiona McLeod The Cult of the Celtic Anthony C. Deane 317
After Various Writers of Vers de Société Behold the Deeds H. C. Bunner 319 Culture in the Slums W. E. Henley 322 A Ballade of Ballade-Mongers Augustus Moore 322
After Various Popular Songs Beautiful Snow Anonymous 324 The Newest Thing in Christmas Carols Anonymous 325 The Tale of Lord Lovell Anonymous 326 “Songs Without Words" Robert J. Burdette
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tag="{http://www.w3.org/1999/xhtml}a">327 The Elderly Gentleman George Canning 328 Turtle Soup Lewis Carroll 329 Some Day F. P. Doveton 329 If I Should Die To-night Ben King 331 A Love Song Dean Swift 331 Old Fashioned Fun W. M. Thackeray 333
Themes with Variations Home Sweet Home with Variations H. C. Bunner 334
Modern Versification on Ancient Themes Goose à la Mode E. Cavazza 346 Three Children Sliding 346 Jack and Jill E. Cavazza 347 Jack and Jill Charles Battell Loomis 348 The Rejected “National Hymns" Robert Henry Newell 352 A Theme with Variations Barry Pain 356 The Poets at Tea Barry Pain 359 The Poets at a House Party Carolyn Wells 363 An Old Song by New Singers A. C. Wilkie 368
Index of Titles 375
Index of Authors 385
Index of Authors Parodied 395
Themes with Variations Home Sweet Home with Variations H. C. Bunner 334
Modern Versification on Ancient Themes Goose à la Mode E. Cavazza 346 Three Children Sliding 346 Jack and Jill E. Cavazza 347 Jack and Jill Charles Battell Loomis 348 The Rejected “National Hymns" Robert Henry Newell 352 A Theme with Variations Barry Pain 356 The Poets at Tea Barry Pain 359 The Poets at a House Party Carolyn Wells 363 An Old Song by New Singers A. C. Wilkie 368
Index of Titles 375
Index of Authors 385
Index of Authors Parodied 395
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