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PAMPHLETS AND PARODIES ON POLITICAL SUBJECTS
By William Hone,
With Numerous Wood Cuts, by CRUIKSHANK
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LONDON:
I. CHIDLEY, J 51, GOSWELL STREET,.
CONTENTS
THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
THE CLERICAL MAGISTRATE.
THE QUEEN'S MATRIMONIAL LADDER,
THE JOSS AND HIS FOLLY,
THE FORM OF PRAYER, WITH THANKSGIVING TO ALMIGHTY GOD,
ADVERTISEMENTS EXTRAORDINARY
THE MAN IN THE MOON,
INTRODUCTION.
THE RIGHT DIVINE OF KINGS TO GOVERN WRONG!
PREFACE.
A SLAP AT SLOP AND THE BRIDGE-STREET GANG
THE QUEEN'S DEATH
THE POLITICAL HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
"A straw—thrown up to show which way the wind blows."
WITH THIRTEEN CUTS
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Fifty-first Edition
London:
Printed By And For William Hone,
Ludgate Hill.
1821.
ONE SHILLING.
Printed By And For William Hone,
Ludgate Hill.
1821.
ONE SHILLING.
—"Many, whose sequester'd lot
Forbids their interference, looking on,
Anticipate perforce some dire event;
And, seeing the old castle of the state,
That promis'd once more firmness, so assail'd,
That all its tempest-beaten turrets shake,
Stand motionless expectants of its fall."
Cowper.
NOTE. Each Motto that follows, is from Cowper's "Task."
Forbids their interference, looking on,
Anticipate perforce some dire event;
And, seeing the old castle of the state,
That promis'd once more firmness, so assail'd,
That all its tempest-beaten turrets shake,
Stand motionless expectants of its fall."
Cowper.
NOTE. Each Motto that follows, is from Cowper's "Task."
THE AUTHOR'S DEDICATION TO HIS POLITICAL GODCHILD.
To
Doctor Slop,
In Acknowledgment Of
Many Public Testimonials Of His Filial Gratitude;
And To The Nursery Of Children Six Feet High, His Readers,
For The Delight And Instruction Of Their Uninformed Minds
This Juvenile Publication
Is Affectionately Inscribed,
By
The Doctor's Political Godfather,
The Author.
Doctor Slop,
In Acknowledgment Of
Many Public Testimonials Of His Filial Gratitude;
And To The Nursery Of Children Six Feet High, His Readers,
For The Delight And Instruction Of Their Uninformed Minds
This Juvenile Publication
Is Affectionately Inscribed,
By
The Doctor's Political Godfather,
The Author.
**The Publication wherein the Author of "The Political House that Jack Built" conferred upon Dr. SLOP the lasting distinction of his name, was a Jeu d'Esprit, entitled "Buonapartephobia, or cursing made easy to the meanest capacity"—It is reprinted, and may be had of the Publisher, Price One Shilling.
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THIS IS THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT
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THIS IS
THE WEALTH
that lay
In the House that Jack built.
THE WEALTH
that lay
In the House that Jack built.
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——"A race obscene,
Spawn'd in the muddy beds of Nile, came forth,
Polluting Egypt: gardens, fields, and plains,
Were cover'd with the pest;
The croaking nuisance lurk'd in every nook;
Nor
Spawn'd in the muddy beds of Nile, came forth,
Polluting Egypt: gardens, fields, and plains,
Were cover'd with the pest;
The croaking nuisance lurk'd in every nook;
Nor
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palaces, nor even chambers,'scap'd;
And the land stank —so num'rous was the fry."
THESE ARE
THE VERMIN
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
And the land stank —so num'rous was the fry."
THESE ARE
THE VERMIN
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
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THIS IS
THE THING,
that in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
THE THING,
that in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
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THIS IS
THE PUBLIC INFORMER,
who
Would pull down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
THE PUBLIC INFORMER,
who
Would pull down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
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THESE ARE
THE REASONS OF LAWLESS POWER,
That back the Public Informer,
who
Would put down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the W ealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
THE REASONS OF LAWLESS POWER,
That back the Public Informer,
who
Would put down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the W ealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
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This is THE MAN—all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders—and all forlorn;
All cover'd with Orders—and all forlorn;
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THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
Who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses, and lace;
Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure,
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels,
in evil hour,
The Friends to the Reasons
of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer
who
Would put down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
Who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses, and lace;
Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure,
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels,
in evil hour,
The Friends to the Reasons
of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer
who
Would put down the Thing,
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it,
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
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THESE ARE
THE PEOPLE
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief,
from night to morn:
Who, in vain, Petition
in every form,
THE PEOPLE
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief,
from night to morn:
Who, in vain, Petition
in every form,
Who, peaceably Meeting
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders—
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses, and lace:
"Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the state and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure:
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now' has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels, in evil hour,
The Friends to the Reasons of law less Power,
That back the Public Informer,
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders—
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses, and lace:
"Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the state and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure:
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now' has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels, in evil hour,
The Friends to the Reasons of law less Power,
That back the Public Informer,
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who
Would put down the Thing, that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
Would put down the Thing, that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
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This is THE DOCTOR
of Circular fame,
A Driv'ller, a Bigot, a Knave
without shame:
of Circular fame,
A Driv'ller, a Bigot, a Knave
without shame:
And that's DERRY DOWN TRIANGLE
by name,
From the Land of misrule,
and half-hanging, and flame:
And that is THE SPOUTER OF FROTH
BY THE HOUR,
The worthless colleague
of their infamous power:
W ho dubb'd him 'the Doctor'
whom now he calls 'brother,'
And, to get at his Place,
took a shot at the other;
Who haunts their Bad House,
a base living to earn,
By playing Jack-pudding, and Ruffian,
in turn;
Who bullies, for those
whom he bullied before;
Their Flash-man, their Bravo,
a son of a ————;
The hate of the People,
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief
from night to morn;
by name,
From the Land of misrule,
and half-hanging, and flame:
And that is THE SPOUTER OF FROTH
BY THE HOUR,
The worthless colleague
of their infamous power:
W ho dubb'd him 'the Doctor'
whom now he calls 'brother,'
And, to get at his Place,
took a shot at the other;
Who haunts their Bad House,
a base living to earn,
By playing Jack-pudding, and Ruffian,
in turn;
Who bullies, for those
whom he bullied before;
Their Flash-man, their Bravo,
a son of a ————;
The hate of the People,
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born,
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief
from night to morn;
Who, in vain, petition
in every form:
Who peaceably Meeting
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders—
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses and lace:
Who to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure:
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels, in evil
in every form:
Who peaceably Meeting
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd with Orders—
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses and lace:
Who to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure:
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the truth;
Who took to his counsels, in evil
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hour,
The Friends to the Reasons of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer, who
Would put down the Thing, that, inspite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
The Friends to the Reasons of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer, who
Would put down the Thing, that, inspite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it, by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin, that plunder the Wealth
That lay in the House, that Jack built.
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This WORD is the Watchword—
the talisman word,
That the WATERLOO-MAN's to crush
with his sword;
the talisman word,
That the WATERLOO-MAN's to crush
with his sword;
But, if shielded by Norfolk
and Bedford's alliance,
It will set both his sword,
and him at defiance;
If Fitzwilliam, and Grosvenor, and
Albemarle aid it,
And assist its best Champions,
who then dare invade it?
'Tis the terrible WORD OF FEAR,
night and morn,
To the Guilty Trio,
all cover'd with scorn;
First, to the Doctor,
of Circular fame,
A Driv'ller, a Bigot, a Knave
without shame:
And next, Derry Down Triangle
by name,
From the Land of Mis-rule,
and Half-hanging, and Flame:
And then, to the Spouter of Froth
by the hour,
The worthless colleague
of their infamous power;
Who dubb'd him 'the Doctor,'
whom now he calls 'brother',
And to get at his Place,
took a shot at the other;
and Bedford's alliance,
It will set both his sword,
and him at defiance;
If Fitzwilliam, and Grosvenor, and
Albemarle aid it,
And assist its best Champions,
who then dare invade it?
'Tis the terrible WORD OF FEAR,
night and morn,
To the Guilty Trio,
all cover'd with scorn;
First, to the Doctor,
of Circular fame,
A Driv'ller, a Bigot, a Knave
without shame:
And next, Derry Down Triangle
by name,
From the Land of Mis-rule,
and Half-hanging, and Flame:
And then, to the Spouter of Froth
by the hour,
The worthless colleague
of their infamous power;
Who dubb'd him 'the Doctor,'
whom now he calls 'brother',
And to get at his Place,
took a shot at the other;
Who haunts their Bad House,
a base living to earn,
By playing Jack-Pudding, and Ruffian,
in turn;
Who bullies for those,
whom he bullied before;
Their Flash-man, their Bravo,
a son of a ————;
The hate of the People,
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief,
from night to morn;
Who, in vain, Petition
in every form,
Who peaceably Meeting,
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who,
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd
a base living to earn,
By playing Jack-Pudding, and Ruffian,
in turn;
Who bullies for those,
whom he bullied before;
Their Flash-man, their Bravo,
a son of a ————;
The hate of the People,
all tatter'd and torn,
Who curse the day
wherein they were born
On account of Taxation
too great to be borne,
And pray for relief,
from night to morn;
Who, in vain, Petition
in every form,
Who peaceably Meeting,
to ask for Reform,
Were sabred by Yeomanry Cavalry,
who,
Were thank'd by THE MAN,
all shaven and shorn,
All cover'd
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with Orders—
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
and all forlorn;
THE DANDY OF SIXTY,
who bows with a grace,
And has taste in wigs, collars,
cuirasses and lace;
Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure;
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the Truth;
Who took to his counsels,
in evil hour,
The friends to the Reasons
of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer,
who
Would put down the Thing
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
cuirasses and lace;
Who, to tricksters and fools,
leaves the State and its treasure,
And, when Britain's in tears,
sails about at his pleasure;
Who spurn'd from his presence
the Friends of his youth,
And now has not one
who will tell him the Truth;
Who took to his counsels,
in evil hour,
The friends to the Reasons
of lawless Power;
That back the Public Informer,
who
Would put down the Thing
that, in spite of new Acts,
And attempts to restrain it
by Soldiers or Tax,
Will poison the Vermin,
That plunder the Wealth,
That lay in the House,
That Jack built.
END OF THE HOUSE THAT JACK BUILT.
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THE CLERICAL MAGISTRATE.
THIS PRIEST,
made 'according to Law,'
made 'according to Law,'
Who, on being ordain'd, vow'd, by rote, like a daw,
That he felt himself call'd, by the Holy Spirit,
To teach men the Kingdom of Heaven to merit;
That, to think of the World and the flesh he'd cease,
And keep men in quietness, love, and peace;
And, making thus his profession and boast,
Receiv'd, from the Bishop, the Holy Ghost:
Then—not having the fear of God before him—
Is sworn in a Justice, and one of the Quorum;
'Gainst his spiritual Oath, puts his Oath of the Bench,
And, instead of his Bible, examines a wench;
Gets Chairman of Sessions—leaves his flock, sick
or dying,
To license Ale-houses—and assist in the trying
Of prostitutes, poachers, pickpockets, and thieves;—
Having charged the Grand Jury, dines with them,
and gives
"Church and King without day-light gets fresh,
and puts in—
To the stocks vulgar people, who fuddle with gin:
Stage-coach men, and toll-men, convicts as he pleases;
And beggars and paupers incessantly teazes:
Commits starving vagrants, and orders Distress
On the Poor, for their Rates—signs warrants to press,
And beats up for names to a Loyal Address:
Would indict, for Rebellion, those who Petition:
And, all who look peaceable, try for
That he felt himself call'd, by the Holy Spirit,
To teach men the Kingdom of Heaven to merit;
That, to think of the World and the flesh he'd cease,
And keep men in quietness, love, and peace;
And, making thus his profession and boast,
Receiv'd, from the Bishop, the Holy Ghost:
Then—not having the fear of God before him—
Is sworn in a Justice, and one of the Quorum;
'Gainst his spiritual Oath, puts his Oath of the Bench,
And, instead of his Bible, examines a wench;
Gets Chairman of Sessions—leaves his flock, sick
or dying,
To license Ale-houses—and assist in the trying
Of prostitutes, poachers, pickpockets, and thieves;—
Having charged the Grand Jury, dines with them,
and gives
"Church and King without day-light gets fresh,
and puts in—
To the stocks vulgar people, who fuddle with gin:
Stage-coach men, and toll-men, convicts as he pleases;
And beggars and paupers incessantly teazes:
Commits starving vagrants, and orders Distress
On the Poor, for their Rates—signs warrants to press,
And beats up for names to a Loyal Address:
Would indict, for Rebellion, those who Petition:
And, all who look peaceable, try for
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Sedition;
If the People were legally Meeting, in quiet,
Would pronounce it decidedly—sec. Stut.—a Riot,
And order the Soldiers 'to aid and assist,'
That is—kill the helpless, who cannot resist.
He, though vowing 'from all worldly studies to
cease,'
Breaks the Peace of the Church, to be Justice of Peace;
Breaks his vows madeto Heaven: a pander for power;
A Perjurer—a guide to the People no more;
On God turns his back,
when he turns the State's Agent;
And damns his own Soul,
to be friends with the ————.
Would pronounce it decidedly—sec. Stut.—a Riot,
And order the Soldiers 'to aid and assist,'
That is—kill the helpless, who cannot resist.
He, though vowing 'from all worldly studies to
cease,'
Breaks the Peace of the Church, to be Justice of Peace;
Breaks his vows madeto Heaven: a pander for power;
A Perjurer—a guide to the People no more;
On God turns his back,
when he turns the State's Agent;
And damns his own Soul,
to be friends with the ————.
THE END.
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THE QUEEN'S MATRIMONIAL LADDER,
A National Toy With Fourteen Step Scenes;
And Illustrations In Verse,
With Eighteen Other Cuts.
By The Author Of The Political House That Jack Built."
'It is a wonderful thing to consider the strength of Princes' wills when they are bent to have their Pleasure fulfilled, wherein no reasonable persuasion' will serve their turn: how little do they regard the dangerous sequels, that may ensue as well to themselves as to their Subjects. And amongst all things there is nothing that makes them more wilful than Carnal Love, and various affecting of voluptuous desires."
Cavendish's Memoirs of Curd. Wolsey
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QUALIFICATION.
In love, and in drink, and o'ertoppled by debt
With women, with wine, and with duns on the fret.